Luminous Fire

1. Painting

 "Should I go?" I ask myself hearing the phone alarm go off.

I did sign up. Ugh, I don't know how I did when I don't even go anywhere by myself. What made me do it? I guess, I'm going or it's going to be a waste of money. Why didn't I invite any of my friends? Who am I kidding? I am going. I just need to put on my shoes.

I rush out the door almost bumping into my roommate. I quickly respond to his greeting. For some reason, I don't want to tell anyone where I am going. It's not that they'll make fun of it. They would actually give it a try, but I can't explain this feeling; I feel it's something I have to do alone.

Soon enough, I find myself in front of the art studio. I take a deep breath before entering, telling myself I can do this. Once inside, I'm greeted by the instructor and I'm one of the first ones to arrive. The canvases are placed in a circle. I'm assuming with the purpose for everyone to have a glimpse of everyone else's work. After getting an apron, I take the one in the middle back of the room away from the people that have arrived. After about five minutes, I see more people showing up by themselves. It makes me feel a bit better assuming that no one knows each other because I'm not a very social person. I see one of the guys heading my way; the seat to the right is unoccupied.

"Hey is this seat taken?" He asks.

I nod negatively.

"Not much of talker." He says smiling.

"What makes you say that? I could be."

"Because I've been watching you since I came in and you haven't talked to anyone."

He's been watching me? "I've had nothing to say."

"If you say so." He smiles.

He has a nice smile.

My attention is brought to the instructor. She explains that our goal is to paint an emotion and she's going to walk us through an exercise that will help us choose an emotion.

"Close your eyes," she instructs.

Ugh, I dislike these exercises; closing my eyes in a room full of strangers.

I look around before closing my eyes as she again repeats the instructions.

"Now, relax, think about a time when you felt angry...when you felt humiliated...when you felt sad...when you felt hurt...when you felt disappointed...when you felt hope...when you felt happy...now which emotion gave you a stronger reaction? Whisper it. Choose that emotion to paint. I want you to hold onto whatever evoked that emotion. Don't lose it...Now open your eyes and start thinking what colors you want to use and how you're going to represent that emotion. Talk it out with the person next to you."

"What emotion are you painting?" He asks.

"How about first you tell me your name?" I smile seeing him realize he never introduced himself.

"How could I have forgotten to introduce myself? My name is Xavier and yours?" He responds.

"I'm Cristian and I'll be going with hurt. You?"

"Hope." He says in a softer tone.

I grab my paint brush and dip into the yellow paint. I am thinking a yellow background, a heart in the middle, bloody red, casting dark shadows and it is almost enveloped by them.

We spend the next hour wrapped in painting and light conversation. I learn that he's in business and travels for it, but not a lot at the moment. He learns that I'm in college on my last year. I haven't looked at anyone else's painting I've just been focused on my own. I'm amazed when I turn to look at Xavier's when he says he's done. Words don't make it justice. The background is red with like shadows over it and a ray of light that disappears and appears throughout the whole painting. I want to ask him where it comes from, but then I will have to share mine and I don't want to. He smiles when I compliment his talent. He does the same. I like what I painted, but it feels likes something is missing.

The instructor claps her hands to get our attention, "it's time for break to let your paintings dry. There are snacks and refreshments in the next room."

We all head there still wearing our aprons. I head to the refreshments, Xavier walking beside me.

"So what's your favorite drink?" Xavier asks me.

"Lemonade and tea. Yours?"

"I like water."

"That's not a drink. Something that it's not water."

"But I do prefer to drink water."

"You're like the only person in the planet."

"There's nothing wrong with liking water and besides it's healthy."

"Sure, so do you not like chocolate and desserts?"

"I eat them sparingly."

"Yes, you're a health nut."

"No, I just prefer salty and sour things."

"Okay, if you say so."

"And you must eat them a lot then."

"Yes, I love chocolate."

We go back to the other room and walk around to see the other paintings. Each of them has something great. They might not be perfect, but you can see passion and effort in the paintings. At the end of the day as we are walking out each with our painting and I say goodbye, Xavier stops me. He asks for my number.

"Why do you want my number?" I ask.

I always ask that question. I don't like giving my number out. Though, I already know I'm giving it to him. I don't why I think I can trust him; maybe it's that he's so easygoing.

He smiles, "I had a great time and if you want I want us to hang out."

"Okay."

When I get back to the dorm, my roommate, Oriel is lying on his bed with his laptop. He looks up and sees the canvas I'm holding.

"Can I see it?!"

"No, it's just for me."

I like teasing him. Everytime he gets a no, it doesn't matter what it is, he will always pout. He looks adorable.

"Cristian, how can you say that? I've been your best friend since the beginning of college. We even share a room."

"I was just kidding." I chuckle.

"Why do I always fall for that?"

"I don't know." I smile showing him the painting.

"Oh my god this is great Cristian! Where did you paint this?"

"I went to an art workshop."

"You went by yourself?"

"Yes and I know it's surprising, but I felt I had to go by myself."

He smiles, "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks."

"So did you meet anyone?"

"Of course. I didn't know anyone."

"You know what I mean."

"I know and yes. There's this guy that wants to hang out, so he asked for my number. He seems nice and it doesn't hurt that he's good looking."

"Aww, are spark flying?"

"It's not like that, Oriel. He just seems like a nice guy."

"I'm happy for you. Making friends on your own."

I just smile because I know why he keeps repeating that. I'm over it. It's in the past.