The Path To You

29. Tiffany

Connor POV:

17 minutes and 43 seconds. That's how long it lasted. Honestly I think it might be a new record.

17 minutes and 43 seconds of peace and quiet which was disturbed by the loud knocks on my bedroom door. I knew I had about ten seconds to open it before my dad went into panic mode and broke it down.

He'd turned into a worried mess since I got home. To be fair both of my parents did. My mom spent all her time researching about sobriety and finding ways to help and my dad spent the whole day throwing tasks at me to try to keep me busy.

I was fucking exhausted and just wanted more than 17 minutes and 43 seconds of peace.

I pulled myself up from my bed and threw the door open. My dad stood on the other side paint colors in his hand.

"You're mom has been talking about painting the kitchen, I thought we could pick a color and run by the store to buy some paint." He said.

Part of me was annoyed that my dad had found yet another thing for me to do. I just wanted things to go back to normal but my parents are too scared to let me breathe for even a second. I think part of it was that they missed it the first time and now they don't want to miss it again. I appreciated that they cared but them hovering around me constantly was starting to drive me crazy.

But once I got past being annoyed I let myself see the opportunity here.

"I can run to the store to grab the paint so you can get a head start on prepping the kitchen." I offered just needing to get out of the house even for a few minutes.

"Are you sure? I can run to the store, it won't take that long." He looked uneasy about the thought of me going out by myself.

I knew I'd lost some of the trust we had but it hurt to see it right in front of me.

"I'm sure, it'll be a quick trip." I bit down some of the words that wanted to come out.

I didn't need to say anything I'd regret. I knew my parents were just worried about me and this was them trying to help. I knew all that but still I found myself frustrated and just wanting to snap at them to leave me alone.

"Alright then let's pick a color." He gave me a smile and I let that tell me I was doing the right thing.

I'd do all these dumb projects with him until he felt like the second he looked away I wouldn't pick up a bottle again. I didn't know how long it would take but I'd be able to get through it.

—

It took about an hour before a color actually got picked and I was able to leave for the store. Every time I thought we made a decision my dad pulled out another option. I had a feeling he just wanted to keep me at home for as long as he could.

I understood he was worried but I couldn't be stuck in that house forever.

Standing in the hardware store was exactly what I needed. It was quiet and no one was trying to pester me. I took my time going up and down the aisles grabbing anything I thought we might need.

"Connor?" A soft female voice asked and I turned to see a familiar face.

It was a conflict of emotions as I stared at the women smiling at me. Tiffany was dating Reid's older brother Ronan. She had been a permanent fixture in my life growing up. Every time I was over at Reid's house she was right there looking after us.

"Hey Tiff." I felt myself relax slightly.

I hadn't really wanted to run into anyone from my past. That had been the one down side of coming back home but Tiffany was different. She was one of the kindest people I knew.

"You're so grown up." She pouted walking over to wrap me up in a tight hug.

I didn't even hesitate to return the gesture. Reid's parents weren't around anymore so he'd been raised by Tiffany and his brother Ronan. I'd been at their house enough to feel like they'd raised me too. Tiff was family and these past years hadn't changed that.

"What happened to that little 12 year old that used to get into trouble all the time?" She pulled back eyeing me.

"I got taller but I still get myself into trouble."

"I swear I used to tire myself out running after you and Reid." She laughed lightly.

My heart twisted at the mention of Reid. I missed him, it'd always been there that hole in my chest. But now seeing Tiffany it was like it swallowed me up. I felt all the guilt and pain from that loss. Reid was supposed to be my best friend, my brother, the one person id have by my side forever but I'd ruined it.

I'd walked away because I couldn't handle my own shit. I let my coach take one of the most important parts of my life from me. He'd destroyed me and then he'd made sure I had nothing left to lean on when he was finished.

I didn't want to think about it but I couldn't help it.

"Connor!" He yelled at my back as I picked up my pace trying to run out of the school.

"Connor!" I could hear his feet slamming against the tiles as he ran to catch up to me.

I needed to leave. I couldn't look at him, I couldn't let him see me. I knew all it would take was one look at my face and he'd be able to see it all.

"Just leave me alone." I snapped refusing to turn around.

He grabbed my arm stopping me from fleeing any further. The second his hand made contact I felt myself flinch away from the touch. My body already gearing up to go into fight or flight.

That's what he had turned me into. He'd ruined me and now as Reid stood behind me I knew I couldn't stay. Reid deserved better than a best friend who'd let himself get like this.

I let someone destroy every inch of my body. I'd put my trust into someone and now I couldn't even handle my best friends touch.

"Did I do something? Connor please just talk to me. If I did something just tell me so I can fix it." Reid pleaded.

"There's nothing to fix." The words felt like acid in my mouth, I wanted to stop, I wish I had just stopped there. "I'm just sick of you bothering me all the time so please just leave me the fuck alone."

I suddenly wanted nothing more than to be back in my house, locked up away from everything in this cursed town. It had been a mistake to let myself come back here.

"It was good to see you Tiff but I really need to get home." I didn't even bother with my cart as I fled the store.

I wanted one thing and that need pulsed loudly under my skin. I needed to numb this feeling, to block the painful memories from grabbing hold.

But I couldn't.

I couldn't let myself go back to that so I just drove straight home. I didn't have the paint I was supposed to buy but I also didn't have the bottle I desperately wanted.

I counted it as a win.

A/n:

Honestly this past week has sucked. My mental health sucks, I'm barely sleeping and work has been a shit show. I'm literally so run down and I want to be able to be excited about this story and posting but I literally just don't have enough energy for that.

I'm still writing when I can and posts will continue. I'm hoping to be able to pull myself out of my funk soon. I know you all are so understanding when it's come to my upload schedule and having to do only once a week but I do want to be able to get chapters out to you all as quickly as I can. I'm going to try to get some sleep this weekend and go into next week motivated and ready to make some serious progress on this book so I can get back to twice a week.

It's a dream but honestly it probably won't happen that fast.

Thank you all for the love and being so supportive throughout this book. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

-Cora Leigh