The Path To You

46. Goodbye

This time the roles seemed to be reversed. The first time I had to leave Connor had been the one throwing a fit. He'd grabbed my bag and pouted hoping that I'd decide not to leave. Since then any time I had to leave it was short stops back to school that each of us knew had to happen. There was no dramatics.

This time I was ready to throw a fit. I'd sat on Connors bed and refused to move. I knew it wasn't just because I didn't want to leave Connor, I was stressed beyond belief because I was returning to do my finals. Some of the most important tests and I didn't feel like I was ready at all.

"If you don't help I'm going to leave you with like no clothes." Connor said as he worked on packing up my things.

"Don't need you to pack me any clothes because I'm not leaving."

"Yeah alright." Connor rolled his eyes. "Would you be mad if I took this?" Connor raised up my green sweater.

"That's my favorite sweater." I crawled out of his bed snatching it out of his hands and stuffing it into my bag.

"I know I was just hoping it'd be enough motivation to get you to start helping me pack." He smiled up at me.

"I hate you." I grumbled and dropped to the floor next to him knowing I couldn't actually let him pack my whole bag by himself.

"Love you too Jet plane."

I didn't want to leave this. It was only a week and it wasn't like we wouldn't talk. Connor had assured me that he'd be fine without me for a week. I was less than convinced but he'd drag me back to school if he had to. I knew there was no way Connor would let me miss out on finals for him.

"I'm going to miss you." I turned to him already letting myself feel sad at the thought of being without him. 

"Yeah I'm going to miss you too."

I knew how everything would go even before it happened. I knew if I leaned in connor would lean in too. And whatever happened after that it'd still end up the same. Connor wasn't ready, he needed time to heal for himself. He'd made strides since we were up on the mountain but I didn't know if it was enough. He hadn't said anything so I didn't know if I wanted to take the step knowing we weren't actually taking a step forward.

But I couldn't help it. No matter what Connor was ready for when it came to labels we still had something. It was just Connor and I and that was all that mattered. So that's why I leaned forward.

I leaned forward and Connor didn't even hesitate to reach his hand out and pull me right in. I pushed everything else to the back of my mind. I only wanted to focus on Connor and this moment.

If I was going to have to leave then I wanted to make the time I had left count.

It was why as Connor pulled me in and let his hands wander down my body I didn't pull back. I just leaned further in letting myself get lost in him. Each press of his fingers into my sides was addicting.

I wanted so much more. I wanted everything. All I could think about was him and how good it felt to be touched by Connor, to be loved by him.

"How are you so perfect?" Connor muttered pulling back for air.

There wasn't a second I wanted to go by without Connor pressed to me kissing me like he might never get the chance to again.

But that wasn't quite what was happening. Connor had kissed me like it was the last thing he'd ever do. However when I left this time there was a promise of a future here. Connor and I had fought so hard to get here and no matter what happened there wasn't anything that could break that.