The Path To You

41. My word

Connor Pov:

Why didn't anyone ever tell me that being in love sucks?

I'd coasted through on the sole fact that I was in love with the perfect guy who literally does no wrong. And if anyone does find a flaw in Jetson then well they are a liar.

Id just seemed to overlook the fact that I was not as perfect as Jetson was. I was a broken destructive mess. Id spent the most amazing day with Jetson, we'd made out on top of a mountain surrounded by all different sizes of bears. It'd been the perfect moment. Id known we were supposed to be just friends and I shouldn't be kissing him but he'd written me letters, ones that declared love, that made jokes about our friends.

It'd been enough to push me right over the edge.

It'd been the perfect day until it wasn't. Because we'd come home and Jet looked over at me and asked one question.

"Are ready to be in a relationship?" He asked searching my face for any clues of what I might say.

"I thought I made my opinions very clear when I kissed you."

"I need you to be honest with me. Now that we aren't swept up in the moment. I need to know if this, us, is something you can handle right now. I'm not willing to let either of us mess this up."

"I love you Jet." I told him my mind swirling with too much to think of anything else.

"Look at me Connor." He placed a hand on my shoulder and my eyes moved up to lock with his. "Are you ready to move forward, to be more than friends?"

The question should be easy. I should be able to say yes and pull Jetson into me and just hold him. But I couldn't. I opened my mouth to say yes and nothing came out.

"I don't know." I whispered.

And Jetson did nothing but give me a small smile. I knew that any answer was okay. I could tell him I might never be ready and he'd take that and still be right there next to me happy to accept anything I was willing to give.

So yeah love sucked. I slept right next to the love of my fucking life and I couldn't do anything. I woke up to his smiling face and all I wanted to do was lean over and kiss it but I couldn't. I couldn't do it because I was still a broken mess who had barely anything left to give.

But I was trying.

I was doing my fucking best at fighting for my life back. It started today. I woke up and tried to dampen down the nerves. I was walking back into the one place I never wanted to go.

I was going back to high school.

If the police didn't believe me maybe I could go to the school and get him away from working with kids. If he wasn't the coach maybe he wouldn't have the ability to hurt anyone else the way he had hurt me.

It needed to work, I needed to do something. I couldn't let this man keep hurting people.

—

I thought I'd be more nervous but as I sat in the office of my old principal I felt none of those nerves. I'd done this before, I'd walked into the police station and the worst scenario had happened. I'd already heard them tell me they didn't believe me. I knew what that felt like and now nothing worse could happen.

If she told me she didn't believe me and that nothing would happen, well it would suck but it wouldn't be the first time I'd heard the words.

"You said you had a complaint?" She asked tapping her pen lightly against her desk,

"It's about Coach Harris-,"

"I'm aware of your complaints against him," she cut me off.

"I wouldn't call them complaints. He-,"

"Accusations then, whatever you want to call it. The police have already talked to me and I'm aware of the situation. I'm also aware of the fact the police didn't find any truth in your claims." She interrupted me again.

I clenched my jaw with the frustration boiling up in me. I knew it was a possibility that she wouldn't believe me but to not even let me speak I hadn't been ready for that. I wanted to be able to say what I needed to. I wanted her to hear the words from me and then have to look me in the eye and tell me it wasn't enough.

"He's an abuser, he manipulated me into a relationship, he's a fucking pedophile. The police didn't do shit but you have the ability to help protect your students from getting hurt by him the same way I did." I made her hear it, hear the claims made by the person who actually went through it.

"He's a good coach, a dependable employee, an a friend. I'm not going to let you walk in here and ruin a man's life and career based on a story that's proven to have no validity."

"When someone else gets hurt by this man that will be on you. You'll have to carry the weight of knowing you could've done something to stop it." I let some of my anger out.

I wanted her to feel bad. I wanted her to realize she messed up and have to look back on this conversation. I want it to keep her up late at night knowing she did nothing.

"Look I'm sorry but there is nothing I can do. If someone else came forward we'd be having a different conversation but at where we stand right now it's just your word against his." She gave me a sad smile and I wanted nothing more to wipe it off her stupid face.

"And that's not enough, my word isn't enough." I felt some of the fight leave my body.

I'd relied upon my word this whole time. I thought if I just told my story it would be enough. For the first time I was realizing that it wasn't. It would never be enough. I could tell my story over and over until my face turned blue but it meant nothing.

They wouldn't believe me.

No one would believe me.

A/n:

Honestly this week has been shit but it's Friday so I'm hoping to be able to get myself together during the weekend. Work is just a dumpster fire right now and it's stressing me out. But I'll have a little break over the weekend so I'm super thankful for that.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!
-Cora Leigh