Jaylen Soo and his mom (Lily Soo) move in with his stepbrother and stepfather. It's difficult for him to get along with his stepbrother.
"Why doesn't he like me?" Jaylen seems to asks himself quite a lot.
Racism, Homophobia, Drugs (Weed) , Strong l...
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Kavari Keen Floyd Jr. (Junior/Vari) POV:
I done fucked up. Again.
No matter what a nigga do, I mess up. No matter how hard I try and show Jaylen how much I like him, I fail.
Am I toxic?
Nah.
Maybe...?
Probably.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm a lil toxic.
Maybe a lot. Not as toxic as Chrisean and Blue, that's for sure.
I've got to do better. I really like Jaylen. More than I've liked anyone before. I don't just want sex. I want more, or maybe less. I want him. I want intimacy with him. I don't just wanna fuck, I wanna make love. —- "So talk." Jay says. He sits on his room floor while I lay on his bed facing towards him.
Jaylen is scary when he's upset. He's nonchalant, doesn't care, it's scary to see someone so bubbly and quiet be so scary.
"Why you mad at me baby?" I already know why, I just wanna hear him say it. This all apart of communication right?
"You already know why." Jay says letting out a sigh. Duh nigga.
"I wanna hear yo sexy ass say it." Gotta flirt my way through it.
"You're not flirting your way through this, Kavari."
Well shit.
"I'm not tryna flirt-"
Hell yeah I am. I be flirting and lyin my way through shit.
"Yes, you are. You trying to butter me up so we can kiss and forget about this."
"Well, would it work?"
"What? No." Jay gives me an annoyed look clearly fed up with me. Am I really toxic? Every time something goes right something just goes wrong.
"Come here, Jay." I say sitting up straight. He lets out a sigh rolling his eyes. "Bring that ass."
What? Y'all don't like that aggressive shit? I know Jaylen does, he just too afraid to admit it.
Jaylen stands up walking over to where I'm sitting. "What?" He asks cocking his head to the side.
"You don't like me no more?" I grab Jaylen's arm forcing him to sit on me, his back to my chest. He tries to break free but the nigga can't beat this.
"I never said that. You don't like me." Poor baby thinkin I don't fuck with him.
I fuck with him heavy. Heavier than anyone.
"You putting words into my mouth." I grab Jaylen'a throat forcing eye contact between us. The height difference makes my heart skip a beat.
He's too pretty.
"You, and I quote, said we're friends. I think it's quite obvious you don't like me." I kiss Jaylen with tongue causing him to moan into my mouth. He pulls back abruptly giving me an upset look.
Damn you don't wanna kiss a nigga? "You're tryna flirt your way through." He says rolling his eyes.
"Is it working?"
"No."
What more can I do?
"C'mon, don't be like that. You like me, I like you, that's not enough for you?"
"Kavari, that'll always be enough for you. I can't be kept in the dark. I want to know what we are."
"You just said it yourself. We. Why you wanna label everything?" Labels add pressure to shit. Suddenly everything matters too much or too less. Suddenly when niggas don't answer quick enough it's an issue, but it only becomes an issue once you slap a label on it.
"Why don't you? Why don't you trust me."
"Cause I'm toxic." Gotta be truthful.
"And you're proud of that?" Jaylen asks, I take my hand off his throat. He grabs my wrist shaking his head no. "Keep it there. You're proud of being toxic?" Oh so he a lil freak?
"I'm only proud if you like it." I say licking my lips. Jaylen brings his hand to my bottom lip caressing it slowly.
"I don't think you're toxic. You just don't know how to be loved. You're afraid because the two people you loved the most hurt themselves and you in the process. I never cared much for anyone than myself because my dad only cared about drugs, and my mom only cared about self love. But Vari, when I see you, you're the only thing I care about."
You boutta make a nigga cry. Got me cheesin and shit. I'm smiling like a idiot.
"You love me?" I ask Jaylen.
"I think I'm falling in love with you." He says looking into my eyes.
"I wanna be yo boyfriend, Jay. But I don't wanna hurt you baby. And I don't wanna be hurt either." I say massaging his throat with my hand. He removes his hand from my lips kissing me softly.
"I'm not going to hurt you. You won't hurt me. I want you."
Even if I'm toxic? ———- Short chapter ik 🧕🏾. i've been busy writing Dope Pusher and getting Let Down ready. Do y'all want dope pusher right now 🤨..? Cause I will drop a chapter rn 😭!!
