Caught Up

Doubt Me

  Kavârï's Diary:

Dear Ma,

Let's get some shit straight. I know what love is. I'd give it all to Jaylen the second he'd confess to me. I ain't the one to say I don't know what love is. Cause I do. I know love like the back of my hand. All I saw was true love growing up. You and Pops showed me that. I know you cheated, but it was real though. I ain't mad at you. Yeah, you can love other people, and sometimes love is hurting someone. I don't believe people who say love and loyalty aren't the same thing. Because they are.

So what's love?:

Love is Jaylen.

Ma, even though you gone, the love you left behind is still here. That's real love. And that's the only love I've got for Jaylen.
That love that you would fight for. Love is the feeling of missing somebody, whether it's platonic or romantic. Love is the feeling of loving. You don't even gotta know when you fell in love, you just gotta know it's real. I wanna love Jaylen so hard, we start to talk about the future. I mean, let me chill. I know you laughing looking down at me. You prolly thinking 'Kavari in love??' Yeah Mama. I'm in love.
The more we hurt, the harder the love. Pops never resented you, I think he was just tryna figure out where he went wrong. I'm tryna figure that out myself. Am I loving too hard? Too less? Am I pressing too hard? I know Ma, love is patience. You taught me that yourself.

You know, I miss you. I know Dad does too. He hurting too, and even though his pride as big as his head, he's still in love with you.
Dad's hard on Jay, and honestly they've got a lot in common. They keep things bottled up, it's hard for them to admit stuff too.
And even though you not here physically, I know I can call you when I need some love.

I hope Jay does the same for me, I hope whenever he needs somebody, he calls me for love. I don't want him to doubt the love I have for him. I know he's afraid, because at first I was too. But I'm chillin, and I'ma go with the flow. I love you.

Your son,

Kavari