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Blacke Livet

As a child, I waited and watched from afar those who were Nigrum's warriors, I imagined myself inside those armors under the foot of the mountain showing all my grandeur, but as the years went by I knew that I would be the one who would work while the others gained the glory. I remember always lying awake at night and making plans, about all the things I would change if it were possible. But it was just a dream. And here I am, alone; faced with so many papers and military protocols that practically suffocate me, "don't turn your back now" said my conscience, after all I need this damn job, my mother depends on me. After being abandoned by my father a few years ago due to an accident that left her bedridden, I became her strength. While everyone played and had a normal life, I took care of her; now I support her beyond care. Ayla has always been my only friend, as well as her brothers, however I became closer to the redhead, she helped me so many times to take care of the woman who gave birth to me. "We are the warriors that built this city" I remember saying to her one day, we had already grown up and became who we are now, Marin is the perfect girl that everyone dreams of, she is strong and doesn't let people interfere in her life , she says what is necessary, she cares, she cares, she feels and beyond that everything in the depths of her soul she only wants a better future for those she loves, she gives of herself, regardless of her own well-being. That's why I fell so deeply in love with her, the problem is that I've always been a coward to say that. I repeated several times to myself that the time would come when I should reveal my feelings. But when I finally created courage it was too late, she left and I remained here, now I feel all my atoms distorting and falling apart little by little due to regret. I took a deep breath, and the pain in my chest became even more palpable. When I got home at night, I found Ayla's mother adjusting the pillows of mine, who was sleeping peacefully.
________ Thank you Mrs. Marin, for taking the time to come take care of her.. - I thanked the older woman with a sad smile on my lips.
________ You know you can count on all of us Blacke, we become a family in which we help each other.. - She said resting one of her hands on my shoulder.
________ I know Mrs. Marin. And I thank you for that every day. - I blinked a few times returning my gaze to my mother who seemed at peace at that moment.
________ See, I brought these documents for you. - I frowned taking the papers, after all I have no idea what it was about.
________ What is that? - I question passing my eyes under the bold letters.
________ It's for this year's draft, I think you should go. - She said with a warm smile on her lips.
________ You know I can't.. - I looked at my mother who was resting on the bed. ________ Yes you can, I talked to your mother and that is her wish too - I looked into the eyes of the older one - I will take care of your mother, Ayla is competing and has been getting good money, it shortens my work period and now I can spend more time at home .. - My face became hard when remembering that Ayla is not here anymore, she was gone however when I see how her mother is I understand the reasons for the woman to have sent the redhead to compete for the Diamond crown.
________ I cannot accept Miss Marin. - I said returning the papers.
________ There will come a time when you will have to get up Blacke - She spoke again - Your life cannot be it forever, besides, your mother feels how unhappy you are and also gets that feeling for not being able to do it anything...
________ I'll think .. - I ended that conversation, Mrs. Marin left returning to her house, I directed myself to my mother sitting next to her on the bed, I held her hand stroking there lightly, her eyes opened and then fixed on mine .
________ Dear.. you arrived.. - She whispered with a sad countenance - Did you eat?
________ Yes.. don't worry.. - I speak passing my fingers in hers that don't move.
________ Did Mrs. Marin talk to you? -She questioned watching me.
________ Yes, and I already said that I will not go. She took a deep breath and then tears welled up in her eyes spilling onto her cheeks. - Mom... - I whisper cleaning them.
________ I want you to be happy Blacke, I'm tired of being a burden to you .. - I opened my mouth to speak but she didn't allow it speaking quickly - They will take care of me, she already filled everything out as instructed, I want you to go .. I want you to be what you always wanted, above the best; but to prove to yourself that you are someone important in this world.. I took a deep breath at her words, every limb in my body writhing with fear that she might feel abandoned.
_________ I don't want to be like my father.. - She winked tenderly at me. _________ You will never be like him, you know why? - I looked at her face in question - Because your essence is totally different, you are just like me Blacke, and I know you would never leave me, soon you will return being what you always dreamed of and then I will be able to smile happy to know that you are too... don't cry for me, because this will be the result of my love. I lay down next to my mother and then I cried with emotion, I cried with pain for her, but above all that, I cried because I could finally do what I always dreamed of, she was freeing me, not her; but of the fear that sank in my chest.