I'm loosing it

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It's been a month since Cullen's left. Which means a month of sleepless nights, every hour Isabella wakes up screaming crazily. Dad's been losing sleep because of it and it's affecting his work.

I sigh opening my eyes for the third time today hearing her scream. I hear dad's feet dragging across the floorboards as he walks to console Isabella. I move and lay on my back staring at the ceiling, I rub my chest softly. I started to have chest pains last month. It started slowly and it never lasted long, then it started getting more painful and it lasted longer each time.

I went to the hospital the day I fell in the kitchen holding my chest. Dad got worried and called an ambulance, they checked and I was 'as healthy as a horse' like my dad says. They just said it was growing pains, it felt more than that. They gave me medicine to help ease the pain but it didn't work. Knowing dad was busy I just lie and say it doesn't hurt anymore.

I look at the time and see it says 6:30. I sigh knowing I won't be able to sleep again so I get up. It's Friday today so I decided to visit the Rez. I get up and look for clothes since I showered before bed.

I brush my teeth and mess with my hair before giving up

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I brush my teeth and mess with my hair before giving up. Ive always complained about my hair never being brushed or styled. My hair was wild and messy I could sit and style it for hours but it will just go back to being messy again. I put my jewelry on and grab my bag skipping some steps while running downstairs.

I make some cereal and eat quickly. "G'morning Kid" dad said yawning and drinking coffee. "Morning" I say as I finish eating and wash my plate to leave. "Oh uhm I'm going to the Rez today" I look at my dad hoping he won't be angry about me skipping school. "Okay just don't be skipping school to much" He said ruffling my hair. "Yeah, Cha-dad I'm going to the Rez too" Isabella said as she tripped on the last stair. "No, you are going to school." He turns around looking at her. "Wha- how come he gets to skip?" she said looking at him in disbelief. "Because he's way ahead of the classes anyway and he hasn't skipped school for the past couple of weeks unlike you. So go to school." He gives her a stern look as if asking her to challenge him. She huffs and gets in her car heading to the school.

After that awkward situation I left and drove down to the La Push. I grab my headphones and book before putting a blanket down. I started reading my new book called 'The Song of Achilles' while playing 'Clocks by Coldplay'. I sit and listen to the song play before I start reading.

I finish reading the book by the time school finishes. I can tell by the way teens are starting to pile on the beach. I take that as a sign to leave before someone comes up to me. "Arden!"...spoke to soon. I sigh and looks up seeing Paul Lahote. I smile a little but it fades as I see his group behind him. "Paul? man what have they been feeding you? Steroids?" I says shoving him jokingly. He laughs hugging me. I return the hug and someone behind him coughs. He lets me go and turns around putting his arm around my shoulder to lead me to the group.

"Guys this is Arden. Arden this is Sam, Jared, Embry, Emily, Quill, and that's Leah!" He says pointing to each person. Nodding politely to them, I open my mouth to speak up  "Hello". I received some odd looks from the group. "Why do you sound weird?" 'Quill' at least what I think who Quill is asked. "Dude! shut the fuck up!" Paul told him angrily. "Paul it's fine. I just moved from France so that why." I said patting Paul on the back. "Ohh cool..sorry by the way for uhm yeah." Quill rubs the back of his neck. "It's fine nothing I haven't heard before." I get cut off by my phone ringing. "Sorry I have to go. But I'll text you later." I said giving Paul a bro hug and waving politely to the group before starting my bike and driving home.

I walk inside and run to my room to call my friend back. We stay on call for hours playing games, catching up, and just sitting in silence. I can tell this has taken a toll on them. Ive's usual bright eyes and gleaming smile is gone, Blu's bags have gotten deeper and he looks more pale, and Lucas has more cuts and bruises on face most likely because of the fights he's been in and his smile has died down more. I know they can see a difference on me as well. My eyes are more sunken, my hair is longer and more unruly, I have gotten more skinnier, and my skin looked ghostly pale.

We ended up hanging up when Isabel woke up screaming. I briefly explained what had happened before hanging up and showering to go and sleep. I fall asleep.

"Mon amour?" A voice speaks softly. I turn around and see him. "My Emmett?" He smiles and walks up to me giving me a sweet kiss. "I miss you...I missed you all of you." He says tearing up, I look at his honey colored eyes and smile whipping the dry tears away. "I miss you too, but I'm here now. Nothing can part us again my beloved." He smiles and opens his mouth to say something but I cut him off with a-

"AHHHHH-" another scream is heard from below me. I sigh opening my eyes and looking around my room seeing a tall figure staring at me with 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 eyes. I stare at it before moving to turn on the light. When I move back to look at the spot again to see nothing. I looked around my room confused before tuning the light off and laying back down. Lately that's what's been happening. I dream of 𝘩𝘪𝘮 then I wake up to his eyes looking at me just for him to be gone when I turn the light on. I swear I think I'm loosing it.


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