You can't change our fate.

Throwing Fits.

Today's the mark of three months since the restless nights started, three months since the pain started, three months since the hallucinations started, three months of paranoia.

My eyes are darker, I can barely see the brown that resides in them, the bags under my eyes have gotten deeper as if I was dead. I had become ghostly pale almost like a corpse, my muscles...what I had of muscles evened out and became lanky. I have become skinnier, you can visibly see my bones if I were to take my sweater off. All of me has changed, my usual middle toned voice has become deeper and more gravelly since I barely talked because the conversation would head back to Isabella. My short honey colored hair has become longer almost to my shoulders and it has gotten darker. My smoking has gotten worse I used to only have one a day but since the dreams started I'd get through two packs a week. I feel myself slipping away, I drown myself in my books to not make any socializing or I would make excuses to not socialize. I can't remember the last time I had a full conversation with my dad, I can't remember the last time I saw Paul, Jake, Billy, hell even Cora.

"Arden!" I jumped hearing my dad yell for me. I go downstairs sluggish and stand at the last step. "Where's Bella?" he asked frantically "what? what do you mean? isn't she in her room?" I looked at him confused. "No! I checked and she's not even in the city she's not here." he ran out to the car. Maybe to the police station. Maybe to the bar for a hooray. Who knows.

I shrug and walk to my room. I know I should be concerned since it's my 'sister' but I could care less. Isabella has been nothing but stuck up since I came here, she's thrown fits when she saw that I had something she wanted, she'd throw fits that her friends didn't notice her obvious plea of attention. She'd throw fits when I would talk or play games with my friends. It always had to be about Isabella or the house would go down in flames. I lay down wondering what my friends might be doing. Blu is probably smoking away, Ive is probably sewing a new dress or doing her 'save the earth' protest again, Lucas is probably in detention or in another fight because of something stupid.

If Blu were to see me now he'd laugh and call me an idiot. Then he'd get mad that I'm wasting away. Ive would give me another speech of how I have a full life ahead of me. Lucas would punch me and tell me to get my shit together. I chuckle at the thought of knowing my friends so well that I already can see their reactions.

"I know you are there my love." I smile and turn around to see him leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed while smirking. "How do you find me so fast?" he walked to me and got on his knees in front of me as I sat on the bed. "I can feel you, I can feel your heart." he laughed at the mention of his heart. "my heart has stopped working since 1935." he smiled up at me as he held my hands to his chest kissing each finger. "Wow I knew I liked older men but...wow I think I got mine too old." I smirked as he stopped his actions and looked at me offended. He got up and moved to push me back as he got on top of me and positioned himself to sit on me. "You don't mean that do you mon cher." he said as more of a  statement than question. "aww it's okay mon cheri I love you either way no matter what." I said putting my arms around his neck. He smirked and moved down to kiss me. His lips ghost mine befo-

Buzzz. I wake up and look at my phone seeing it's my dad and that Isabella had called. She was in...Italy? I shake my head and roll over to lay down before I see a spec of honey eyes looking at me in a sort of longing. I watch not being able to look away. I try and distinguish their features only by seeing some of it through the moonlight. But God did the moonlight make them look angelic. I blink as I feel my eyes get watery and they vanish. I frown not seeing them there. I lay back and let sleep wash over me again. This time dreamless.