Soukoku Stories

An Unexpected Visit Part Three

Chuuya's Perspective

I wake up not hurt by the coldness on the other side of the bed. I always get up after Dazai (he has insomnia).

But I get worried when I don't find him in the kitchen. Then I hear the water running. Oh . . . no, no, no!

Please! I beg, sending silent prayers to who or whatever may be listeing taht he isn't doing what I think he's doing.

I skid into the bathroom and see Dazai's clothes strew around the floor. The man himself is sitting in the bath. His head is almost under the water but I can still see the tears dripping down his face. Making a light 'plink' sound when they hit the red water. The bandages I put on last night are stained and coming loose causing the blood to taint the water.

"Yah! Mackerel. What are you doing." I hope he hears the surprise and concern in my voice and not just the scolding. I do feel slightly betrayed that he's tried to kill himself again.

He doesn't respond, slipping further into the water. I grab him by the shoulders and drag him up again, trying not to flinch when I feel how cold it is.

He gasps and coughs violently, the tears come faster now. 

Fuck! It's been nearly a minute and the coughing fit still sounds strong. Finally it cuts off with a sob.

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm here." I hold him close to me not caring if I get soaked. He clings to me still crying a bit.

I want to beg him to tell me why he would try to leave me like this, but I know that it would do no good. "Do you want to tell me what happened? We don't have to talk about it right now if you don't want to though."

He shakes his head against me.

"Okay, that's okay. I need to move though, so I can get you new bandages."

He shakes his head again but lets me go, holding onto my hand until I'm to far away. I wince at the thump as he lets his arm smack down against the cold porcelain.

"Let's at least get you into some warm clothes."

I know he's not alert enough to change so I bring him pyjamas and a jumper and help him get dressed. He's still staring off into space only snapping back to attention to sneeze. (And they say idiot's don't catch colds.)

-----

After I finish making breakfast (fruit, eggs, and avacado toast) I sit down next to Dazai.

"You had a bath last night, why did you want to take a shower again this morning?" I ask gently, remembering how I cleaned his wounds last night and holding his slim frame against my own. I wish we could be more open about our relationship, if only, if only, if only.

"I was so cold. I thought a hot shower would help, but-" He sighs and sniffles.

"It's okay." I whisper. Normally I would be angry at him for getting himself sick like this but it was hardly his fault and I can't bear to scold him when he's in a state like this. "I'm here now. Don't worry." I kiss the top of his head, "I'll never leave you." I add un-necessarily, wincing out of habit at the sappy mood I've created.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Looking at him I can say the word with absolute certainty, "until death do us part, not even then."

He raises an eyebrow at my choice of words, I don't regret it. I could never regret anything when it comes to him, except leaving him.

—

After we finish eating I get him to take medicine. The sad part being I don't have to get him to do anything. He takes it willingly. He's not even whining about how bad he feels, he must be feeling awful.