Soukoku Stories

Executive Dazai

(A/N: R.I.P. me trying to write comedy! Also sorry for any typos sometimes I miss things. Anyway let's gooo)

Atsushi's P.O.V

"Gah! Where is that slacker!?" I hear Kunikida-san mumbling from his desk. He holds a stack of reports, and I walk over to offer to help fill some.

He sees me, an angry look in his eyes. I know it isn't for me but it's still intimidating. "Yah, Atsushi-kun!" I can't help jumping at his raised voice.

"Y-yes Kunikida-san?"

"Have you seen Dazai recently?" His phrasing is formal as usual but his tone is full of all the anger and frustration and exasperation that comes from working with the suicidal detective.

"No . . . you don't think something's happened to him, do you?"

He huffs, adjusting his eyeglasses and crosses something out in his notebook. (There goes his schedule.) "No, I'm sure that he is fine, but these reports need to be filled."

"Oh, okay then. I can just do Dazai-san's report for now."

"You are too kind Atsushi, you shouldn't enable him."

"Well, I-I . . . I just want to help out is all."

Kunikida-san shakes his head but lets me take the reports.

—-------- Three Days later —-------

It's been a week since anyone has heard anything from Dazai-san. I trust Kunikida-san, but I'm starting to get worried for my mentor. Kunikida-san is not worried . . . he's FURIOUS!!!

At first he ignored it, saying that that fool can do whatever the hell he wants and it's no matter to him, but the paperwork is piling up and most of the other members who've finished all of their work, paper or otherwise, are on vacation this week.

Yosano is going to some spa resort with one of her friends.

Ranpo is going to Disney World with Poe.

Kenji is visiting his grandparents back in his hometown, for the summer festival. He promised to bring back the biggest watermelon he can find.

The Tanazakis are going camping.

Kunikida doesn't know how to take breaks.

I'm helping him because I have nowhere to go and not enough money even if I did have somewhere to go. -^T-T^-

Dazai-san is nowhere to be seen.

"Have you just tried calling Dazai-san?"

"You think he picks up?" I can tell his question is a rhetorical one.

"He- he hung up on you? But . . .?"

"He has no respect, the useless fool."

"Oh." I don't really know what I should say to that. "You know Kunikida-san, maybe, you could just go to his house or something."

His head perks up, "Ah yes, Atsushi-kun! That is a great idea! Why didn't I think of that?" He adjusts his glasses and I smile at the praise. Kunikida's face falls. "But we don't have his address."

"Really? I thought everyone lived in the dorms?"

"No, not Dazai. For all I know he sleeps on a futon under a big tree in some park."

"Whaaa!"

"Or a shack, maybe a garbage bin, I bet he finds that nice and cosy."

"Dazai-san is homeless!" I say, not believing the words.