Untitled

Chapter Nineteen

  It's a well known fact that Sebastien loves his family. It's probably even more well known that he loves Alek. A lesser well-known fact, for some fucking reason, is that he hates being interrupted in the middle of a sex act. And man does he fucking hate it.
  Alek's curls were laying against Sebastien's stomach and his dick was currently down the boy's throat. Sebastien's hands were gripping the sheet tightly and the pillow he grew up sleeping on was beneath his head.
  He was letting out occasional, gentle moans and trying so hard to not thrust his hips up (it makes Alek gag and he doesn't stop for a while). Alek was moving so beautifully slowly, and in this moment, his mouth was Sebastien's favorite thing.
  Sebastien felt himself about to cum. He was right on the edge and so ready to let out whatever noise wanted to fall out of his mouth without hesitation.
  And then there was a knock on the door.
  His immediate reaction was to be annoyed and quite pissed off, but in hindsight, he realized he should probably be thankful that whoever it is knocked in the first place.
  Sebastien groaned and leaned his head back as Alek pulled off quickly. "What!?"
  "It's time for dinner, dickwad." Antonio said, his voice slightly muffled by the door.
  "Okay. We'll be out in a minute."
  "Everyone's already at the table."
  "Then fucking start without us!" Sebastien snapped.
  "Mom wants everyone to-"
  "Alright! We're coming!" Sebastien groaned again, rubbing his forehead.
  "Want me to-"
  "Yes, obviously. Fuck, Leks." Sebastien sighed.
  Just a few more seconds of Alek's mouth had Sebastien finally getting the relief he was denied minutes ago.
  Alek wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and climbed off of the bed. Sebastien sat up and grabbed his wrist gently. "Where are you going?"
  "Dinner? Your mom said-"
  "I don't care what she said. They can eat without us." Sebastien pulled Alek back down onto the bed and hovered over him. He slowly pushed his hand down and grabbed Alek's dick through the fabric of his sweatpants, "You really wanna go have dinner with my family like this?"
  Alek exhaled shakily. "I mean, no, but-"
  "No buts. Put yourself first for once. Put us first for once. Three times now, we've stopped what we were doing for them. Not today, alright?" Sebastien said lowly.
  Alek half smiled, then nodded.
  Sebastien leaned down and kissed him roughly, keeping his hand where it was, but slipping it into Alek's sweatpants. Alek gripped Sebastien's bicep tightly and moaned softly into the kiss.
  Sebastien kissed his way down Alek's neck and then his stomach, pushing his sweatpants down along the way. He mouthed at Alek's dick through his underwear, looking up at him through his eyelashes. Alek's mouth was parted slightly, and his head was tilted to the side as he watched Sebastien intently.
  Sebastien made his way back up to kiss Alek, his mouth not leaving the boy's skin. As his mouth moved against Alek's, he slowly slid his hand down into Alek's underwear.
  "Bash, mom wants you to- oh shit, my bad." Marco chuckled, still standing in the doorway after laying eyes on the two boys.
  Sebastien pulled away and looked up at Marco, his hand still holding Alek's dick. "The fuck, Marco?"
  "Now this is more like how I pictured you two." Marco said, gesturing to them with his hand and then crossing his arms.
  "Get the fuck out." Sebastien rolled his eyes.
  "I would love to, but mom told me not to come back without you two."
  "Then wait outside the fucking door. Stop looking at us, pervert."
  "You're the one with your hand on a guy's dick in front of your brother and I'm the pervert?" Marco raised his eyebrows.
  Alek grabbed Sebastien's wrist and pulled his hand out of his underwear.
  "Come have dinner. You can fuck afterwards." Marco said, uncrossing his arms.
  Sebastien rolled off of the bed and threw his clothes back on. "Why is mom so desperate for us to be there right now?"
  "I don't know something about having dinner with all of her boys. Maybe she also doesn't like the thought of her son fucking his boyfriend while the rest of the family is praying to God and eating dinner."
  Sebastien rolled his eyes. "Like it's never happened before."
  "As far as she knows, it hasn't. I always covered for you. She thought you were going through a growth spurt when you were fourteen because I always said you were asleep when you really had some guy's dick down your throat. Surprised she didn't catch on, considering you've been the same height for the last seven years."
  "Really? Fourteen?" Alek asked, his eyes slightly wide.
  "What can I say? I peaked early." Sebastien shrugged. "Now let's go have dinner, I guess."
  "Okay, I'm gonna find a shirt and...wait for a second." Alek said, gesturing to his lap, that he had covered with part of the comforter.
  Sebastien nodded and followed Marco out to the table, where everyone was waiting.
  "Where's Alek?" Gloria asked softly.
  "Oh he's...bathroom." Sebastien said, flicking his index finger towards the bathroom.
  "Gross." Antonio cringed.
  "It wouldn't be gross if you let us finish-"
  "Sebastien." Gloria said in a warning tone, giving him a stern look.
  Sebastien raised his hands. "Sorry."
  "What did you and Alek need to finish?" Julian asked, tilting his head.
  Gloria gave Sebastien a "see what you did" look. Sebastien made a guilty face and took his seat, hoping Julian would let it go.
  "Will Alek be long?"
  "No. I don't know why you're being so weirdly punctual. We don't have to all eat at the same time like we're in some cult. Alek would hate if we waited for him anyway." Sebastien sighed.
  After a few seconds, his mom gave in with a nod, said a prayer, then began dishing food onto everyone's plates.
  Everyone was a few bites and a couple conversation topics in when Alek finally showed up. He walked slowly into the room, then seemed to almost fall into his chair.
  Sebastien chuckled and leaned over to him, "You okay? I haven't even fucked you yet."
  Alek nodded and grabbed his cup, taking a long drink of water. As he sat the cup back down, Sebastien thought he saw his hand shaking, but Alek retracted it too quickly for him to be 100% sure.
  "So Alek, I've never asked...how did my brother land you?" Antonio asked, earning a glare from Gloria and a laugh from Marco.
  There were a few seconds of odd silence. Sebastien turned to Alek, seeing him staring blankly at the plate in front of him.
  "Leks..." No response. "Alek." Nothing. "Alek." Sebastien spoke a bit louder and gently nudged his shoulder against Alek's.
  A few seconds later, Alek turned to him slowly. "Hm?"
  "Alek, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Sebastien didn't mean for his words to sound as rude as they did, but he was kind of freaked out. Okay, really freaked out.
  Alek blankly stared at him for a second. The way his eyes seemed to look right through Sebastien's head made him feel uneasy. He still waited for a response, but only got silence and Alek's head slowly nodding as if he was about to fall asleep.
  Sebastien wasn't ready for this. He didn't want to accept the reality of what was probably happening, but Fortune told him it was possible. He thought he was in the clear. He didn't think he had to worry about it anymore. Alek was doing really well. Right?
  After a few more silent seconds, someone resumed conversation at the table. Alek kept blankly staring beside Sebastien, who wouldn't dare to take his eyes off of him.
  "Bash..." Alek's voice was slower than normal. He leaned forward slightly, "I don't feel good."
  Sebastien's stomach sunk at those words, but he tried to stay calm. "What's wrong?"
  Alek swayed forward again. "I...nothing..I think I'm just tired. M'bed."
  Alek stood up slowly, stumbling the second he started to rise from his chair. Sebastien stood up quickly and reached out to hold him steady. Alek lifted his arms and held onto Sebastien's shoulders tightly.
  "Is he okay?" Gloria asked, worry covering her face.
  Sebastien didn't know how to answer that. He still wasn't fully sure what was happening. Is this one of the seizures Fortune warned him about? Is he really just tired? Is he getting sick?
  Alek leaned forward, almost all of his body weight being supported by Sebastien. He rested their foreheads together. "M'gonna throw up."
  Fuck.
  Sebastien felt frozen to the ground. Every time Alek was nauseous or threw up, there was always the same reason for it. Xanax.
  "Alek..." Sebastien's voice barely escaped his lips.
  Alek held his shoulders tighter and if Sebastien hadn't continued working out, he would be collapsing under Alek's weight.
  "Sebastien, is he okay?" Gloria asked again, now standing and looking more concerned.
  Sebastien swallowed hard. "Tio, get the kids out of here."
  Antonio stood up quickly, grabbed Penelope, and lead the twins down the hall.
  "Bash, what's going on?" Marco asked, walking up to him and seeming ready to take Alek off of his hands.
  The words scratched their way up his throat painfully. "He's fucking overdosing."
  "The fuck? On what?" Marco asked.
  "Xanax and his current medication too, unless he pretended to take them again. Can you?" Sebastien grabbed Alek's arms and nodded his head at Marco.
  "Yeah, of course."
  Marco lead Alek over to the couch and Sebastien stopped to take a breath. Fortune's voice was running around in his head and he was trying to remember what he said about overdoses. At the time, he figured it was something he wouldn't have to worry about. He had Alek's medication and Alek said he wanted to stop, so that seemed impossible. He wracked his brain for information, but came up blank. What the fuck is he supposed to do?
  He pulled his phone out to call Fortune, only to realize that he never saved his number into his phone. He sighed and went to his room, grabbing Alek's phone off of the dresser. He scrolled through his contacts and clicked Link, putting the phone up to his ear and biting his thumbnail in anticipation.
  "Hey, man! Need me already? You're a beast, for real." Sebastien was taken aback by the strange, upbeat voice, and was even more put off by his words.
  "Um...who is this?" Sebastien asked.
  "How high are you? It's Quinn. Wanna meet up at the usual place?"
  "For what?" Sebastien was getting that dreadful feeling again.
  "Dude, are you fucking with me? What the fuck else?"
  "I'm about to fuck with you if you don't start being straightforward with me. I'm not Alek. My name is Sebastien. I'm his boyfriend. Who the fuck are you?" Sebastien snapped, gripping the phone tighter.
  "I'm Quinn. I'm his...dealer, I guess." He laughed.
  "Yeah, that's hysterical. Do you just give him Xanax or do you give him other stuff too?"
  "That depends in what stuff you're talking about." Sebastien could hear his smirk.
  "Cut the shit or I'll find out where you live and fucking kill you. What the fuck do you give him?"
  "Just Xanax."
  "So you never fucked him?"
  "Now I didn't say that."
  "If you so much as speak to my boyfriend again, I will kill you."
  "Okay, okay, message received." Quinn exhaled another laugh.
  Sebastien hung up and deleted the contact from Alek's phone. He then found Fortune's actual contact and called him.
  "Hey, Leks, what's up?"
  "It's Bash. Look, I already wasted time with some dick fuck named Quinn, who may or may not have slept with my boyfriend, so can you just get straight go the point and tell me how the fuck to know if someone is overdosing or having a fucking seizure." Sebastien said quickly, pushing a hand through his hair, and pacing.
  "Um..shit." Fortune exhaled. "Well, they can look quite similar, actually. Is he coherent?"
  "Um...sort of. He's like talking kinda slow and he keeps spacing out. He's unsteady when he walks, that was the first thing I noticed. He also said he was going to throw up and was leaning against me a lot."
  "Okay. That sounds more like an overdose, thank God. Wow..never thought I'd say that." Fortune took a breath. "Do you know how much he took?"
  "Considering I thought he wasn't taking any, no, I have no idea. He never acted this out of it when he was taking up to four at a time, so I at least know it's more than that."
  "Right. I suppose that means you don't know milligrams either."
  "No, why?"
  "Well, if he was taking four, but the pills were less than a milligram, then he would've been used to that somewhat small, controlled dosage. And if he switched dealers and didn't know he was given a higher milligram, but took them the same way, that could be why he's not responding well to it and it's seeming like an overdose."
  Sebastien nodded. "That makes sense. So what do I do?"
  "There's really nothing you can do. If it's not on the floor, unresponsive serious...you just have to wait for it to pass. If you take him to the hospital, all they're gonna do is monitor him, and then he'd end up in rehab or some shit and that's not something you go into unprepared."
  "Yeah, okay. I don't imagine he'd want people knowing about any of this anyway. We've been here a week now, so if we leave the house, there's always paparazzi." Sebastien sighed. "Thanks..for your help."
  "Of course. Anytime. Keep me updated on how he is, okay?"
  "I will."
  Sebastien exhaled and rubbed his face gently, pushing his hair back. He stepped out into the living room, where his mom was sitting next to Alek. Her left hand was on his forehead and her thumb was gently drawing circles between his eyebrows.
  Alek slowly looked over at Sebastien, making Gloria look as well.
  "Where did you go? He freaked out when you left." Marco said quietly, standing with his back to Alek.
  "I had to make a call to figure out what was going on. I was right. I just don't know how to feel about it right now, honestly."
  Marco nodded. "The girls are on their way back. They'll be here soon."
  "Okay. I don't want them to know..yet. So can you help me...like.."
  "Yeah." Marco gently placed a hand on Sebastien's shoulder.
  The sound of small feet entered the living room, making Sebastien turn around.
  Julian ran into the room, clutching a ziploc bag of white pills. "Bashy, will these make Alek feel better?"
  Sebastien ran over and ripped the bag out of the small boy's hand. "Where the fuck did you find these!?"
  "They were in the bathroom. I thought maybe-"
  "Fuck's sake, Julian, you shouldn't touch stuff that isn't yours. Especially not a bag of fucking pills! Alek, what the fuck!?" Sebastien turned back around quickly. "Do you know what could've happened if one of them fucking took this shit!? You could've killed them!"
  "Bash, calm down." Marco held Sebastien's biceps.
  "No, I won't calm down! He brought this into our house and just left it out!"
  Marco backed Sebastien away from the living room. "Stop yelling. I know you're worried and overwhelmed, but he doesn't need this right now. He needs you to sit with him and hold his fucking hand, okay? You can yell at him when he's sober."
  Sebastien nodded. Marco was right. Even more so because he was talking about Alek. Sebastien knows that he hates yelling and confrontation.
  "Give me those and go sit with him."
  Sebastien handed the bag to Marco, then took a few breaths before walking back over to the couch. He took his mom's place next to Alek, but she only moved one cushion over.
  Sebastien didn't know what to say or if he should say anything at all. All he could do was stare at Alek and watch his chest rise and fall slowly. He traced Alek's face with his eyes, noting that he was still blinking slowly.
  "How are you feeling?" Sebastien asked after a few minutes. He immediately felt like he could've said something better.
  Alek slowly lifted his shoulders and hummed the equivalent of "I don't know."
  "Bashy, is Alek okay?" Julian asked, walking closer to the couch with his head tilted.
  "Yeah," Sebastien turned with the best smile he could manage, "he's just not feeling well. Why don't you and Henry draw him something. He loved the last picture you gave to him."
  "Okay!" Julian ran back down the hall.
  "Bash...I'm sorry." Alek said quietly.
  Sebastien looked down at him. He couldn't say it was okay. He couldn't even say they'll get through it because he was seriously starting to doubt that. He let a few silent minutes pass, hoping to get answers, yet so terrified of hearing them.
  "Leks, I don't understand. You've been taking the pills. I watch you take them. Did you like spit them out or something?"
  "No. I took them."
  "And you just weren't worried about mixing them at all?"
  "No. Not really." Alek's calm tone made Sebastien's stomach flip in the worst way.
  The feeling of his mom's hand on his back was only seeming to make his throat tighter. He stood up quickly and walked away, hearing his mom follow behind him.
  He stopped in the hallway and took a few breaths, then turned around and fell against her. He couldn't remember the last time he cried like this. So hard that it shook his body. Hiccupping like a child in his mom's arms.
  He felt useless. Like nothing he could do would ever help Alek. Like his attempts were making him worse, not better.
  "M-mom...what am I supposed to do?" Sebastien choked, holding the back of her shirt tightly in his hands.
  She rubbed his back and sighed. "I don't know, sweetheart." She held him at arms length, her thumbs rubbing his biceps, "How long has this been going on?"
  Sebastien wiped his face. "A long time."
  "Maybe there's nothing you can do."
  "What...what do you mean?" Sebastien leaned back, his stomach sinking.
  "I mean I think he needs professional help, Sebastien."
  "But he did it. We did it. He was fine. Can't we just...do it again?" Sebastien felt more tears constricting his throat.
  "Honey, it might have worked temporarily, but he needs a permanent resolution. If he keeps going back and forth like this-"
  "Don't fucking say it. Please." Sebastien said. He brushed past her and walked back over to Alek. He sat down, then slowly grabbed his hand and traced his knuckles.
  "Do you want to move into our room before the girls get here?" Sebastien asked, looking at Alek's hand instead of his face.
  "Yeah...I don't want them to..."
  "Me either." Sebastien said, then stood up.
  Alek slowly placed his feet on the floor and moved to sit on the edge of the couch. He slowly stood up and grabbed Sebastien's outstretched arms to steady himself.
  Alek walked to the room mostly by himself, only stumbling and grabbing the wall once.
  Sebastien closed and locked the door, then stood in the middle of the room in silence for a while.
  "Are you that unhappy with me? Do I not make you feel good enough? Am I the fucking reason you keep doing this?" Sebastien knew most of his thoughts were illogical, but he needed to get them out.
  "No, it has nothing to do with you, I promise. It's me. It's all me and I fucking hate that. No matter how much I want to stop. No matter how much I try, I always think about it. I always miss the feeling and find myself wanting to go back to it. I was doing well. I know I was. I felt good. I was happy--I am happy. I just...crave it." Alek looked up at him, his eyes shining.
  "I know. I wanted to help you. I wanted it to work and I tried so hard, but obviously I'm not enough to help you out of this and that's okay. You need more than just a supportive boyfriend to get you through it."
  "I'm not going to fucking rehab. I can't do it. No way. A treatment facility that treats me like a child? Fuck no. All the stories and articles and photos would make it so much worse. I will not be a rehab celebrity." Alek said quickly, shaking his head.
  Sebastien chuckled gently. "I wasn't gonna suggest rehab because I knew you'd say something like that. I was going to say that I think you should tell Ms. Armstrong. I think she could successfully help you through it and I know she would understand your reasons for rejecting rehab. I think it'd be better for you for a lot of reasons."
  Alek nodded and chewed on his bottom lip. "Okay. I'll tell her."
  "Leks..."
  "Hm?"
  "Did you use this much when you were with Chloe?" Sebastien wanted to punch himself for asking the question, but he couldn't shake the curiosity.
  "I don't know. I didn't exactly keep track. And I didn't have anyone trying to get me to stop, so...I didn't really care." Alek shrugged.
  "Do you care now?"
  Sebastien hated every second of Alek's brief hesitation before he muttered, "Yeah." Alek paused again. "You helped me care."
  Sebastien didn't know what else to say. He couldn't stop his mind from running circles around every new fact he's learned about Alek. In this moment, he was more thankful than ever that they met. Because without him maybe Alek wouldn't even be here.
  A few moments of gentle silence passed, then Sebastien leaned back against the dresser. "How are you feeling?"
  "You already asked me that."
  "And now I'm asking you again."
  "Um...fine, I guess? Still kinda high, but it's nothing I haven't felt before." Alek shrugged.
  "Okay. Good." Sebastien crossed his arms. "I called Fortune from your phone earlier and the weirdest thing happened..."
  "We didn't fuck, I swear." Alek said quickly.
  Sebastien huffed out a laugh. "Yes because that being your opener is so reassuring."
  "Bash, we didn't have sex, I swear. He just... asked for different forms of payment sometimes...and one time I payed him too much, so he-"
  "Okay. I get it. You pimped yourself out to get high. Cute little story." Sebastien scrunched up his face sarcastically. He flicked his eyes to the ground, then exhaled. "If I didn't find out, would you have ever told me? Or were you planning on sucking some guy's dick for drugs until it killed you?"
  "I don't like doing it, Bash. It's like...it's like this thing that I have to do. When I don't, I'm just thinking about how it feels. The gentle rush, the light feeling in my head, the tingling, the way I feel like I'm floating, it's all so fucking euphoric."
  "Have you ever been drunk? Same fucking thing. Have you ever had sex? Same fucking thing. I know you can't just shake off an addiction, but have some fucking common sense, Alek. You can find those feelings in so many other places. Like all those tattoos on your body or fucking me." Sebastien huffed.
  "I want all of those things to give me the same feeling some day. I've just never experienced any of them without it before. Like completely 100% clean. And that's so fucking terrifying because what if I do all those things and it doesn't feel as good? What if I've ruined myself forever?"
  Sebastien walked over and sat next to Alek, bending his right leg on the bed and making it press against Alek's. "I promise you that won't happen. You've fucked me sober before, right?" Alek nodded. "Okay and was it enjoyable?" He nodded again. "Then what are you so worried about? You're gonna be fine." Sebastien leaned over and rested his forehead against Alek's. "I love you."
  "I love you too." Alek sniffed, then jumped onto Sebastien's lap and wrapped his arms around his neck. "I'm sorry I'm so fucked up."
  Sebastien smiled and leaned back, holding Alek's waist. "I've been looking for someone to outrank me in that for years."
  A few hours passed by quickly, the sun having set, and the two boys freshly showered and laying next to each other. The gentle, steady breathing of Antonio on the top bunk was the only sound in the room.
  Sebastien turned his head to look at Alek in the dark room. "So...how do you feel?"
  "Alarmingly sober."
  Sebastien slowly rolled on top of him and smirked. "Perfect."
  "Maybe for you. I feel quite shitty."
  "I can fix that." Sebastien's lips brushed against Alek's.
  "Can you really? Can you replicate the feeling of-"
  Sebastien cut Alek off with a harsh kiss, gripping his waist with his left hand. Their tongues met between their lips and Sebastien slowly slid his hand down Alek's side.
  Alek grabbed Sebastien's face and pulled away. "Bash, I love you, but I can't do this with your brother sleeping above us."
  "Okay, then we can go to Marco's old room."
  "He doesn't live here anymore. Why don't we fucking sleep in there?"
  "Because...this is my room."
  Alek smiled. "That's cute. Now let's go fuck in your brother's bed."
  "Damn, I love you." Sebastien leaned down and kissed Alek quickly.
  They quietly walked to the end of hall and slowly opened the door to Marco's bedroom.
  "Seriously? You're so attached to your childhood bedroom, that you've been denying us this luxury the whole time?" Alek motioned to the queen sized bed.
  "I always stay in my old room. You're welcome to stay in here by yourself."
  "I'm not fucking doing that."
  "Then shut up." Sebastien grabbed Alek's waist and tugged him forward, initiating another kiss, this one louder and longer.
  He pulled Alek's shirt over his head, then backed him up towards the bed. Sebastien gently pushed Alek back, then began pulling off his own shirt.
  "Bash..are you sure this isn't gonna wake anyone up? This is a small house and the bed is already creaking." Alek said, looking up at him.
  Sebastien sighed. "None of this stuff ever bothered you this much before. Why are you suddenly so hesitant?"
  "You need to remember that for the past three years of my life, I've spent almost every second with at least a little bit of Xanax in my system."
  "It's not completely gone yet, it hasn't even been twelve hours."
  "I know, but its worn off. I'd have taken more by now and we'd probably have successfully woken up everyone in the house."
  "So what are you saying...?"
  Alek shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just nervous. Like how I'd feel when we'd be at my house with my parents there."
  "Well, this is the only empty room in the house. Unless you wanna go fuck in the treehouse."
  Alek raised his eyebrows curiously.
  The simple action was all the convincing Sebastien needed. He'd like to replace his current memories of being in the treehouse, where he's too drunk to stand and close to getting back with an ex just to feel something he can control.
  He was glad to find out that since he had last been here, they had added a few blankets and pillows to the hard wood.
  "Bash...what if it falls out of the tree? What if we fall out of the tree?" Alek stressed.
  "For fuck's sake, Alek. If you'd let me fuck you already, you wouldn't be thinking about any of this."
  "That's what you think. I always think about that stuff, I just don't say it."
  "You should start doing that again."
  Alek opened his mouth and made an offended sound, "Rude."
  "No. Not rude. Impatient. Horny."
  Alek uncrossed his arms. "Fine. Take me...in this raised wooden structure."
  "I love when you talk dirty to me." Sebastien said monotonously.
  Alek finally seemed to calm down a little once Sebastien was hovering over him and kissing every inch of his body.
  The crickets backed up the sounds the two boys were making; Alek's were soft, and Sebastien's were low and throaty.
  Alek's sweatpants were quickly pulled off, his underwear following soon after. The simple feeling of Alek's bare skin beneath him already had Sebastien feeling weak.
  Sebastien's hands were roaming up and down Alek's body, as he resumed kissing him intensely.
  Alek made another sound, "Bash..."
  Sebastien lifted his mouth from Alek's neck and sighed. "What now?"
  "Nothing...it just feels good. Can I not express that?"
  "Yeah, obviously. I just- nevermind."
  "Want me to exaggerate more? Like oh fuck, Bash. Right there! Oh..mm..yeah.." Alek took on a high-pitched voice and over-exaggerated a few moans.
  Sebastien rolled his eyes. "Fuck off."
  Alek smiled up at him and gently folded his hands behind Sebastien's neck. He pulled him down slowly until their lips met again.
  Sebastien kissed back gently, reaching down to tug his pants off. He nudged Alek's legs apart with his knee, making Alek pull away again.
  "You should probably like...finger me first...it's been a while." Alek said softly.
  Sebastien smirked. "I have a better idea."
  He shimmied down, pushed Alek's right leg to the side, and lifted his left leg over his shoulder. He then grabbed one of the pillows and put it under Alek's lower back.
  "What the fuck are you doing?" Alek chuckled, lifting his neck and looking down at Sebastien.
  "Just trust me."
  Sebastien gripped Alek's left thigh with his right hand and leaned down. As suspected, Alek was a mess. He immediately had a hand in Sebastien's hair, gripping the curls tightly. He kept pushing his ass down against Sebastien's mouth and he was almost certain that if they were in the house, everyone would've been woken up.
  "Okay...stop- stop...I'm- stop..." Alek said breathlessly.
  Sebastien leaned up with a smirk, watching Alek's chest rise and fall rapidly. A few whines slipped past the blond boy's lips the second he stopped.
  Sebastien was now face to face with Alek again, and his dick had replaced his mouth.
  "I'm going to be doing that again, aren't I?"
  Alek nodded, panting, "Mhm. Yeah."
  Sebastien wasn't planning on sleeping in the treehouse, but Alek looked so pretty on his chest and he just couldn't move him.
  The sun was his alarm clock, as a particularly sharp ray pierced through the trees and right into his eyes.
  He sighed, rubbing his forehead and then resting his arm over his eyes. "They really should put curtains in here."
  "The windows close, you know." Alek mumbled against his chest.
  "How the fuck do you know that?"
  "Henry told me. He showed me around. He keeps rocks on that little shelf." Alek still hadn't opened his eyes or lifted his head off of Sebastien's chest.
  Sebastien looked over to the shelf next to the door and, sure enough, there was a pile of rocks on top of it.
  "How is it that you seem to know more about my brother than I do?"
  "Because he feels like he's not your favorite anymore."
  Sebastien looked down at Alek with furrowed eyebrows. "What? Why?"
  "I don't know. Because of me probably." Alek sat up slowly and rubbed his face. "He also said that when Vi is around, you like her the most."
  "Okay, well...that's true, but he shouldn't know that."
  Alek chuckled. "Just give him a rock. He'll forget all about it."
  "Yo, Bash! You up there!?" Antonio's voice preceded the sound of crunching leaves.
  "Yeah. Why?"
  "Is Alek with you?"
  Sebastien looked at his boyfriend, a tired smirk playing on his lips, "Yeah."
  "The fuck are you two doing- nevermind. Forget I asked. I just came to get you for breakfast."
  "Okay. We'll be right in."
  "You know children play in that, right?" Sebastien could see Antonio's crossed arms and Marco-like judgemental eyebrows.
  "Yeah. And now we played in it."
  "EW! Gross!" The leaves crunched a lot faster and Sebastien faintly heard the side door close.
  "Wanna play some more before we go in?" Sebastien smirked, leaning towards Alek.
  "Not really. My head hurts a fuckton. I'd like an Advil and a nap on some fucking cushioned fabric right now." Alek said, his heavy eyes and furrowed eyebrows an indication of his pain.
  "I'm sorry." Sebastien stood up, then leaned over and kissed the top of his head. "Let's go inside and I'll be your little housewife."
  "Okay." Alek said, then held his hands out.
  Sebastien grabbed them and helped him stand up. "Thank you."
  Sebastien didn't need a translation to know all of the things Alek was implying with those two simple words. He didn't need confirmation when he could see it swimming in Alek's eyes and plastered on his face.
  He rested his forehead against Alek's. "You don't have to thank me."
  They both slowly descended the ladder, then crunched leaves on their way in. Alek insisted on showering to get the smell of sex and wood off of his body. Sebastien also needed a shower and currently felt like the moms at Disneyland, who need to have their kids on leashes, so he joined him.
  Breakfast burritos and cinnamon rolls awaited them when they entered the kitchen. Well, Sebastien entered the kitchen. Alek shuffled over and face-planted on the couch.
  "Is he okay?" Gloria asked, seeming to not know whether to find Alek's action amusing or alarming.
  Sebastien smiled. "Yeah. We...spent the night in the tree house, so he's...hurting."
  Gloria nodded with a gentle smile. "Are you boys still leaving in four days?"
  Sebastien sighed. He was dreading that question. "I don't know. One one hand, Alek needs to see his therapist. On the other hand, I don't know if going to his house will be good for him right now. I just feel like it has all of these memories attached to it and he's gonna...relapse again."
  "I understand. Could you not virtual call the therapist? Then she could weigh in on the decision to go back home or not."
  "That..is a genius idea. You hear that, Leks?" Sebastien leaned his upper body to the side so he was just able to see the back of Alek's damp, messy hair.
  "Mhm." He hummed into a pillow.
  Sebastien grabbed two Advil from the medicine cabinet, a glass of water, and a cinnamon roll. He walked over to Alek and sat on the edge of the coffee table. "Leks."
  Alek moved so his head was laying on the pillow properly, facing Sebastien.
  "I have medicine, water, and breakfast." Sebastien held the plate and the cup out.
  Alek slowly sat up and took the glass, then held his hand out. Sebastien dropped the pills into his hand, hating how familiar the process felt. Alek exchanged the glass for the plate, staring down at the cinnamon roll.
  "It's food, Leks. You eat it."
  Alek glared at Sebastien through his eyelashes. "I can't."
  Sebastien sighed and opened his mouth to speak, but Alek beat him to it.
  "I need a fork."
  "Oh..okay. Sorry." Sebastien went back to the kitchen and returned with a fork.
  "Thank you." Alek grabbed it, then shook his head, "Expecting me to eat this with my bare hands like a toddler."
  Sebastien chuckled and intently watched Alek devour the pastry, occasionally holding his hand out for water. Almost immediately after he finished eating, Alek laid down in the corner of the couch and fell asleep. Sebastien continued to watch him, almost afraid to look away for even a second.
  "Sebastien, you should eat something too." His mom said gently.
  "I know. I just don't want to leave him." Sebastien said, not taking his eyes off of Alek.
  "Alright." She said simply.
  A few minutes later, she handed Sebastien a full plate and gave him a kiss on the head. He ended up next to Alek, putting the boy's legs on his lap. He rested his arms on Alek's shins, and gave Fortune the update he had promised to give him.
  As if he could sense the guilt running through Sebastien's body, Ben called him just minutes later.
  "ALEK OVERDOSED!?"
  "Good fuck, Ben. Wake the whole neighborhood, why don't you?"
  "Be lucky I didn't fly to Seattle to fucking scream in your face! Why the fuck didn't you call me or text me!? Why didn't you call his fucking sister!?"
  Sebastien sighed and rubbed his face. "It wasn't that serious, but was a lot, Ben. My first priority was to make sure he didn't fucking die, and then cut off the reason that he could've. I'm really sorry that I haven't called either of you, I planned on it, I just...I needed some time to process everything first. I still haven't."
  "I understand. Is he okay?"
  Sebastien looked over to Alek, seeing his face squished against a soft throw pillow. He smiled sadly. "Yeah. For now. I'm so fucking scared, Ben. I feel like I can't leave his side. I'm so worried about him. I love him so fucking much. I can't stand to see him go through this."
  "I can't imagine what it's like. I've seen him hit a few rough patches, but I know it's nothing compared to what you've seen. He'll be okay, Bash. He will. That boy endured Michael fucking Rochester. A silly little addiction isn't going to take him out."
  "Silly little makes it sound so simple." Sebastien exhaled part of a laugh.
  "It is. Just be there for him. He'll get through it. You will too."
  "Thanks." Sebastien sighed gently. "Is Alice mad at me?"
  "Not at all. I think she's actually mad at me for yelling at you."
  "Damn right, I am. Yelling at him like he's the problem when he's taking good fucking care of my baby brother in a time of need. I should yell at you when you're stressed out and see how you like it."
  "I'm so in love with her." Sebastien could hear the fondness in Ben's voice.
  Sebastien chuckled. "I'm really happy for you. Can you put her on?"
  "Go for Alice."
  Sebastien chuckled. "I miss you."
  "I miss you too. How are you?"
  "Don't you want to ask about Alek?"
  "I overheard you and Ben. And I know my brother. I know he's okay. I'm worried about you. I know you're so worried about him that you aren't thinking about yourself."
  "What ever could make you think that?" Sebastien chuckled, leaning farther back against the couch. "I'm okay..I think. I'm still trying to like process it. It's hard, after I thought it was over for good. I just...I feel like I failed him. Like I did something wrong. Or like I should've tried harder or been more attentive. I want to worry about whether he's going to like his birthday present or not, instead of worrying about whether or not he's going to make it that long. I want to sleep and know that he's safe and happy and not getting up in the middle of the night. I want to trust him again."
  "I know you do. And it'll be like that someday. I know it will. He hates this just as much, if not more, than we do. I've watched him quit three times now and I can tell that's what he wants. It's just a long, slow, horrible process. I know he'll get through it." Alice sounded way more confident in her words than Sebastien felt, but he couldn't help but to trust her.
  Alice passed the phone back to Ben, and they caught up on things that didn't make Sebastien want to cry.
  "Hey...um..I was thinking about staying here a little bit longer, if Alek wants to. Would that be okay?" Sebastien mindlessly traced his fingers uo and down Alek's shins.
  "Yeah, absolutely. Gavin has gotten the hang of everything, and we haven't been too busy recently. How long do you think you'll stay?"
  "Probably just another week. I'm kind of scared to take him back to his house." Sebastien exhaled, looking over to Alek as he shifted in his sleep.
  "I'll say. Have you two talked about getting your own place?"
  "A little. I'm just not sure if it's the right time to do that."
  "I think a clean slate would be the best thing for him right now."
  Sebastien nodded and chewed on the inside of his cheek. "Yeah, me too. I think he's waking up. I'll call you when I know more about our stay."
  "Okay. Love you, man."
  "Love you too."
  Sebastien sat his phone on the cushion next to him, and turned to Alek, rubbing his legs gently. "How was your nap?"
  "Shitty." Alek sat up and put his feet on the floor, then moved to lean against Sebastien with his head on his chest.
  Sebastien rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head. "Would you wanna stay here another week or do you want to go home?"
  "I could say yes to both of those. I feel more at home here than anywhere else."
  Sebastien smiled. "I'm glad. Does that mean you'd be opposed to apartment hunting?"
  Alek sat up. "No. Definitely not. You really want to get our own place?"
  "Yeah. We basically live together already. Only it would be in our own space. Just us." Sebastien nudged their arms together.
  "Sounds perfect." Alek smiled.
  "Are you ready to tell Ms. Armstrong?" Sebastien asked, rubbing his thumb gently against Alek's skin.
  Alek exhaled and looked down between them. "Not really. But I have to. I want to."
  Alek called her and they were approved for a Skype call in ten minutes. Alek was quiet and fidgety, but Ms. Armstrong's warm face seemed to make it easy for him to speak.
  Sebastien watched Alek intently as he caught Ms. Armstrong up to speed. He occasionally looked at the screen, seeing the kind woman nodding in understanding, and taking notes off screen.
  "...I just- well Bash, actually, just wanted you to know so that maybe you could like...help me out more permanently." Alek finished his detailed rant gently.
  "Okay first, I think Sebastien is right. I feel I've been able to greatly help you these last few years, and just talking about it to anyone is already one step closer to getting better." She shuffled papers around, then appeared to close a notebook. "I honestly think you need to stop taking it altogether. That's most likely why you weren't able to successfully stop before. Your body needs to be completely cut off. By weaning him off of it, you were just feeding the addiction, thus making it harder to quit. I'm sure you know it stays in your system longer than it has noticeable effects, so you weren't given much time to really get used to not having it at all. Not to mention the difficulty alone in breaking a routine you've been doing for years. I think the best thing you can do right now is take it easy, drink a lot of water, and monitor any symptoms you may have."
  "What if I have a seizure? What if I die?" Alek's fingernails were picking at the corner of a sticker on the laptop.
  "I can assure you that it will not be as serious as an overdose. You're young and healthy. Your addiction is more likely to kill you than a seizure. You said you've stopped taking it before, right?"
  Alek nodded
  "And you've never had any serious withdrawal symptoms?"
  "No."
  "You will be just fine, Alek. I'd wait a week or so before starting your new medication back up, just so you can better monitor how you're feeling. Do you have any other questions before we part ways?"
  Alek shook his head.
  "I actually have one." Sebastien said, making Alek turn to look at him.
  Ms. Armstrong nodded for him to continue.
  "I was just wondering if environment or location plays into anxiety and PTSD?"
  "Yes. Absolutely. Keeping yourself in a place that holds bad or traumatic memories could definitely hold you back and halt your healing process. Even if you don't notice it. In your situation especially, Alek, that could be the case. You're trying and wanting to get better, but your environment is holding you back. Something as simple as a smell or an article of clothing could give you anxiety that makes you turn back to something you're comfortable with--in this case, your addiction."
  Sebastien felt like all of his thoughts and worries had finally come together in his head. Her words made so much sense and he finally felt like there was something he could do to successfully help Alek. Even Alek visibly relaxed at her words.
  "Thank you so much, Ms. Armstrong." Sebastien smiled.
  "Of course. Anytime. Hopefully I'll be seeing you regularly again, Alek." She smiled softly at him.
  Alek nodded gently. "Yeah, I'd like that."
  "See? And you were worried." Sebastien smiled, pulling Alek against him and ruffling his hair.
  "I wasn't worried...I just don't like talking about it."
  "I know. Hopefully after we move, we won't have to talk about it ever again."

  Sebastien thought that after Ms. Armstrong reassured him, he would fall asleep easily the next few days. He shouldn't have been surprised that the exact opposite happened to him. They were still amongst the beginning of a long journey and he knows a lot of that time is going to be spent worrying about Alek.
  The boy was sleeping peacefully next to him, but Sebastien was afraid to fall asleep. He was so scared to let Alek out of his sight.
  So he didn't sleep. He spent half the night watching Alek's chest rise and fall, and he spent the other half staring at his face.
  He heard his mom get up around six, so he gingerly rolled Alek aside and left the room quietly. Sebastien would hear him if he got up, but considering how he acted the last time he went through withdrawals (and how he's acted the last few days), he doesn't see that happening anytime soon.
  "Buenos días, cariño." His mom smiled, gently shaking a bottle of formula.
  "Morning." Sebastien mumbled, walking over and brewing a pot of coffee.
  "Rough night?"
  "Mhm."
  "Do you want talk about it?" She asked, walking over and picking Nicolás up from the playpen behind the couch.
  Sebastien silently grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured coffee into it.
  "Sebastien...you know you can talk to me. I won't go all mom if you don't want me to. I can just listen."
  Sebastien sighed and looked up at her, already feeling his throat tighten. "Mom, I'm so tired. I love him so much, but I just want him to be okay. I can't fucking sleep because I'm so scared that he'll get up and- and...I can't worry about him any more. It hurts. It hurts so much."
  Sebastien was thankful for his dad, who walked in and took the baby from his moms arms, freeing them to wrap him in a tight, much-needed hug.
  "You should get some sleep, mi amor."
  "I know. I will. I thought I'd sleep when he sleeps. You know because if he's asleep, he's safe. But I'm afraid that while I'm asleep, he'll wake up and relapse or need me."
  "You know Marco got rid of them. There aren't any in the house. He will be just fine. I'm sure he'll be asleep a few more hours. Go lay down and I'll stick my head in every half hour, okay?" Gloria rubbed his back, nearly lulling him to sleep in the kitchen.
  "Okay. Thank you." Sebastien leaned back and his mom kissed him on the forehead.