Everything has just been so.. Heartbreaking? Stressful? I don't know
My feelings? the fight?
what is going on?
I lay on the pedestal looking up at the opened ceiling I close my eyes hoping to sleep even if it's for another hundred years
"Hey syren" macaque says looking down at me he doesn't have his usual smile he seems worried "I know some things up."
I sigh he's always been so blunt and straight to the point, I sit up moving over so he can sit next to me
"It's just.. I feel bad. I don't know what went on for a thousand years between you zhara and wukong! I could've done something I could've prevented you're death and Rocky's dissapearence I could've done SOMETHING! anything!! But I didn't.. I was used as a fool till I used the hands that were covering my eyes against them. I.. I was stupid..i couldve been there for zhara when she fought against wukong I could've stopped wukong before he killed you! I could've been helpful I could've returned the kindness that you both gave me" at this point I'm crying and macaque stares at me solemnly waiting for me to speak
"I was born without a purpose without any guidance in this stupid temple I was ripped of my eye in a stupid city! I never knew what love was I never knew anything other then suffocating loneliness and I still know that know and I don't get why! I have amazing friends I have you! And yet I'm still not happy I never was.." I wipe my tears , macaque hugs me rubbing my back which causes me to cry more "she treated me with love..the motherly kind, something I had never felt and I followed her like a idiot.. I followed her and I didn't get to help either of you all I got to see was you're lifeless body... Not even lifeless" I squeeze him
"You were still breathing even after I took you to a secluded area.. I tried my best to save you but you ended up dying anyway.. Sometimes even now I wonder if I didn't fight him would you have died? I don't know I don't even know what I'm talking about now" my breathing slows down to a normal pace "maybe I really am just a kid.. A kid with no sense of direction.. A kid with power, power that I don't even know the limits too" I squeeze him harder "I just.. I wish I wasn't so stupid"
Macaque sighs "you didn't really have a choice you were brought here without a will or a way and without anything to your name.. That's why you hoard that's why you were easily fooled non of this is your fault you couldn't have done anything you were dealing with your problems and we were dealing with ours. Sure it ended badly but the past can't be changed all we can hope for is a better future"
I laugh "when did you turn into such a wise guy?" He laughs too
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Hai :3
P2 tmr bc I'm eepy
