Greys anatomy (& Private Practice) women x reader oneshots

⚠️Dark place (Callie Torres) P1

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ TW - depression, stress, anxiety, panic attacks, disordered eating, suicide attempt, self harm, substance abuse, vomiting, basically everything

Im being serious don't ignore the warning ⚠️

Don't ignore the warnings

Tue 3rd November 5:45 am

Your alarm goes off again. Lately, you'd been dreading the idea of going to work. When you were an intern you used to be so excited about surgery - you used to fight Cristina and Meredith just to be able to stand outside the OR. Now you're over a year into your residency and you're starting to feel the pressure. It's not fair. Cristina has such an aptitude for cardio so she's always an attending's first choice. Then Meredith is dating Derek so she gets on well with the attending's so they pick her next. Then Evil Spawn is hogging Peds even though he complains about it every day. So you're normally just left to oversee the clinic.

You've gotten used to it though. It gives you time to study. But the patients and their families are a lot more impatient in the clinic. After a surgery, family will often hug you when you give them good news but in the clinic you give them good news and they just get up and leave without another word to you. Truth be told, you haven't been feeling yourself lately. You've been staying up all night studying just so that you can be almost as good as the twisted sisters. Or even just good enough for an attending to want you on their service. It's hopeless though. You're starting to regret choosing medicine as a career. It's thankless and you've lost the passion for it. Every day someone is rude to you or vomits on you. Every day.

You turn off your alarm and roll out of bed. You really didn't want to go into work. You felt nothing but dread. You rush straight to the bathroom and throw up from sheer anxiety. You sit under the sink and hug your knees to your chest whilst you wait for your body to stop shaking. This is a daily routine now. You moved into Meredith's house after Izzie left so it's always busy. You should never have expected to get privacy this morning. Cristina walks past the bathroom and knocks. At least she knocks - the others don't.

"Hey y/n, heard you throwing your guts up - who's the daddy?" She jokes.

"What?" You barely registered what she said because your ears were ringing.

"I'm asking if you're pregnant dumbass"

"Oh no I think it's just something I ate aha"

You stand up and clutch onto the sink for support. Then you start to get ready for work. You felt like a zombie. You didn't feel alive but you weren't dead. You couldn't feel anything but hollow and empty. You needed to get your head in the game before you left. You rummaged through the cupboard under the sink until you came across the first aid kit. It's a house full of surgeons so there was a scalpel and some gauze in there. You pulled up your sleeves and traced a finger over your old cuts - some of them were bad enough for stitches. You made some fresh cuts and gasped as the blade dug into your skin. You felt revitalised. You still didn't want to go into work but at least you were awake.

When you'd arrived at the hospital and changed into scrubs you headed to the pit to see if you could get on a trauma case. You were fed up of the clinic.

"Excuse me nurse but could you step out of the way we've got a trauma incoming-" Owen Hunt says to you.

You went to correct him but he'd already pushed you aside. He didn't even know you existed. He didn't know you were a resident - in the same class as Cristina and Meredith! You figured you'd head up to the peds floor and see if they needed help up there. You ask at the reception desk but they tell you that Robbins only needed the one resident and that was Karev. You shrugged and decided that your best hope was probably the clinic again.