Greys anatomy (& Private Practice) women x reader oneshots

⚠️How do I say goodbye? (Arizona Robbins)

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ TW - depression, stress, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, disordered eating, suicide attempt, self harm, grief, vomiting, basically everything

Im being serious don't ignore the warning ⚠️

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Don't ignore warnings.

It had been over a year and you were doing so much better. You were back at work now - after a lot of therapy! Then again, who wouldn't need therapy after a mass shooting?

You'd never been much of an optimist. You were a realist. That's what made you and Arizona such a great pair. Ever since you were a child you'd been a bit dark and twisty. You suffered from depression throughout middle school and into high school. You still had bad days now but you found that your passion for medicine really helped you. That was until the shooting. You never wanted to practice medicine again. The dark thoughts came back - the kind you would have at 14. One time they got so bad that you took an overdose of your antidepressants- ironic! The doctors made such an impact on you that that was the moment you decided to go into medicine as a career.

After the shooting, all you could think of was what would've happened if you'd died. How it would've impacted everybody else. It upset you that you didn't think they'd be that bothered. You talked about this a lot in therapy and it helped you reach the conclusion that people did care about you. Even if you didn't always see it.

Arizona Robbins has been your best friend since you were both at Hopkins. She knew everything about you - about how you'd struggle with your mental health, but also your favourite films, books, colours (because you're indecisive and can never pick just one). You knew everything about her too. She was the total opposite of you. She balanced out your darkness with her rainbows and sunshine. From the moment you first met her, you two became inseparable. She rubbed off on you. She made you a happier person and when the newest class of interns arrived they called you "McRainbow" and Arizona "McSunshine". Everybody that knew you at Seattle Grace - Mercy West hospital knew you to be the smiley, energetic girl that Arizona had sculpted you into. She was the only one who knew about your darker thoughts. After the shooting, you stayed at her house, she helped you through the nightmares and the depression.

Whenever you were screaming in your sleep she'd be at your bedside with a glass of water, rubbing your arm gently to drag you out of it.

"Hey, it's ok sweetie," she'd tell you every single time - it never failed to make you cry.

Every day for the first 2 weeks after the shooting, you had to sleep in her bed with her. You couldn't sleep alone because you were vulnerable when you slept so you wouldn't be able to see danger coming - like you couldn't have predicted the shooting. That was your logic anyway! The warmth of her body next to you made you feel safer. This was your arrangement until one of the days, she got home from work and went to check on you. She couldn't find you so she knocked gently on the bathroom door. When you failed to answer she got panicky - "I'm coming in y/n!" She said. She walked in to find you stood, naked, outside the shower with deep cuts scattered on your wrists and thighs. Blood was trickling down your legs to your ankles and there were a few droplets on the mat you were stood on. You were in such a trance you didn't even hear her.

"O-ok sweetheart, come on, let's get you cleaned up - yeah?" She put her arm behind you and led you into the shower.

She turned the shower on above the both of you, grabbed a sponge, and started to wash you. You didn't even wince when the hot water hit your skin. Her hands were soft and gentle when she touched you, being careful not to hurt you when raising your arms to clean you. She took extra care over your cuts and once she was done cleaning you, and had dried the water off you with a towel, she fetched a suture kit from under her sink. She told you it might hurt but you didn't feel it anyway. After stitching you up, she dried herself off, after being stood in the shower with you, and then went to fetch you (and herself) some clothes as you stood there - helpless. She came back with your grey joggers and your baggy nirvana t shirt that you only bought because it was on sale - you weren't really into nirvana that much. You just stood there, staring at the wall.