Greys anatomy (& Private Practice) women x reader oneshots

Passed on (Multi Character - A,B,M,M,J)

Request by LucyHughes910  (hope you're doing ok now)

Amelia, Bailey, Maggie, Meredith, and Jo.

This story depicts how suicide impacts your loved ones. I'm certain they'd rather listen to your problems than your eulogy (as dark as that sounds!!)

Anyways, I'm here if anyone needs to talk.

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He'd passed on. His pain also passed on. Onto you.

It had been 2 weeks. You figured you should probably get back to work. You'd received countless texts from your colleagues all reading similar messages.

Jo: Sorry to hear what happened, hope you're ok x

Maggie: Mer just told me what happened, I'm always here for you x

Meredith: Take as long as you need, look after yourself x

Amelia: If you need a friend you know where I am x

They were only trying to help you. You didn't feel like responding to any of them. But you couldn't just mope around your house forever. You needed to get back to work.

Kian was a surgeon too. He was doing his residency at Hopkins. You'd been friends since med school. You two got talking when you were paired together on an assignment. You'd texted everyday since. He became like a brother to you. That's why it hit you so hard that you didn't notice what was going on. You hated yourself.

Kian had committed suicide.

You were literally just texting him. Giving him the gossip about your friends. That's what best friends do. They share gossip. They don't abandon each other. They don't just die!!

You hated yourself for being angry at him. You knew it wasn't his fault. You wished he'd opened up to you though! You just felt so lost without him.

You also hated yourself for disappointing him. Kian loved to save lives. If he wasn't at work he'd have a borderline panic attack. You joked that he was a workaholic, which earned you an eyeroll from him every time. Whilst you'd been moping around your house, living off pot noodles and wearing the same stinky hoodie everyday, you hadn't been at work saving lives. You could've helped save somebody.

You could've helped save Kian. His death made you feel an empty sort of powerlessness. You felt as though you had no control. Over anything. So the question was: what's the point?

Life without your favourite person. You couldn't even begin to process that. You didn't think you'd ever smile again. The only person who could cheer you up was Kian. Now he was dead.

You prepared for your first day back. For the 'rare bird looks' as Jo would refer to them. She'd expected them when she got out of the psych ward.

You took a shower for the first time since you found out. You decided against wearing mascara because if someone asked how you were doing you were scared you might start sobbing.

You got to work and had a little moment in your car on the car park, grateful you didn't wear mascara. Then you took a deep breath and headed into the hospital.

Your strategy was to keep conversation to a minimum, find a big case to invest all your time and attention into and distract yourself.

Bailey had other ideas.

"Dr y/n! You're back. How are you doing?" She asked softly and went to put her hands on your shoulders, but you're quite a bit taller than her so it was a little awkward. Still, the gesture was thoughtful.