Alhaitham pov:
Kaveh went to his room, so I walked to mine. Maybe I went a bit too far. Kaveh's crying in his room probably because of me. I didn't need to dump everything on him. Even though he provoked me, I didn't need to say all those things. I took a towel and went to the bathroom to go take a shower to destress before I'd make a rash decision.
While I showered, I thought of Kaveh and how he was crying at the moment. I finished the shower short and got out since the shower wasn't helping one bit. I wrapped the towel around my hips and walked to my room. Once I finished drying myself, I was gonna go on my bed but I saw a letter with my name on it.
I opened it and read. The more I read, the faster I read. My fingers shook from how scared I was. I put the letter back and started to put my clothes back on. I ran to his room and saw a half empty suitcase, but no sign of Kaveh. My brain worked too fast, and I knew where he was. I grabbed my keys and ran out of the building. My heart was about to beat out of my chest as I ran. A couple of people who were wandering the streets looked at me in confusion.
Once I got to the Akademiya, I took my keys and struggled to find the right one. And then I struggled to put it in the keyhole. Once I unlocked the main door, I ran through the corridor and up the stairs even if I was out of breath. I got to the top floor and found the balcony. I opened the door and saw Kaveh in front of me on the edge on the balcony behind the rails.
I started to shake and tried to say his name, but I was so scared that I wasn't able to say anything. I started to hut the wall to alert him that I was there. He looked behind and saw me. My breath hitched, and I called his name. "K-Kaveh!"
He stared at me and smiled softly. I started to walk closer to him, I stretched my hand out to him. "Kaveh... please, come with me... don't do this..." I said with a shaky voice. Kaveh Looked at me and the ground beneath him, and then back at me. He looked at me with tears in his eyes. Kaveh took my hand and tried to get himself over the railing. The moment he was safe, I hugged him tightly. He started to sob loudly and gripped my shoulders. I tried to shush to comfort him. I took him in my arms and sat down. He rested his head on my shoulder and cried while I rubbed circles on his back.
He held me tightly, he muttered things to my ear while crying, I didn't understood what he said so I looked at him. "What did you say?" I said with a calm voice. He looked back at me with a warm smile. "Maybe one day I'll tell you." He whispered. His smile warmed my heart, I hugged him tighter and felt tears well up. Kaveh smiled at me while he cried and wiped my tears with his thumb when they fell. We were both trembling and we continued to hug each other, until Kaveh got up and started to laugh. "Come on... Let's go home." He said, stretching his hand out for me.
I took his hand and followed him out. We both leaned on each other while we walked down the stairs, out of the Akademiya and onto the street. He looked at me while we walked to our apartment. "I'm sorry Alhaitham... It was a dumb idea... I'm sorry if I scared you." He said quietly, avoiding eye contact with me this time and looking at the ground. I looked at him and tried my best to smile warmly at him. "Yeah you did scare the shit out of me... But don't be sorry for that." I said, taking his hand in mine. He sniffed and rubbed his eyes before looking back at me. "You're a wonderful person Haitham..." He muttered softly. I nodded and wrapped my arm around his shoulders in a playful way to try and comfort him.
Once we got to our apartment complex, I opened the main door and we went to our apartment. He still leaned on me even when we were in the apartment. I looked at him to make sure he wasn't sleeping, and saw him clinging to my shoulder for comfort. I led him to the couch and let him keep leaning on me. "Sorry if I'm too mean..." I whispered to him. He looked at me and laughed. "Don't worry Alhaitham I'm sure you have a reason you're hard on me... right?" He asked me while putting some distance between us. I simply gazed at him and sighed.
"Do you want to know?" I asked him. He nodded, his face was full of worry, like if he was scared I'd say something mean. I leaned onto him before I spoke. "Kaveh, I found you when you were in one of your lowest points. If I acted mean towards you, it was because I was afraid you'd push me away and that we'd disappear from each others lives again. I know you have a tendency to push people away when they're too nice, or too generous to you. So I kept being mean because I was afraid you'd leave me..." I explained to him. I stared at the floor during the whole explanation. Afterwards, I buried my face in my hands and groaned out of embarrassment . "Sorry, I know it's a shitty excuse-"
He cut me off with a hug. He hugged me so tightly, I felt like my ribs were going to get compressed until they'd disappear. He started to cry while laughing with his face buried in my chest. He looked up at me with his snotty nose, his eyes full of tears, and a huge smile. "I think you know me a bit too well Haitham..." He hugged me until I started to cry silently with him. It was a difficult night for the both of us, we were both scared out of our minds, but being in each others company made it bearable. This all happened too quickly. But at least we could go through it together.
We held each other in embrace until I felt Kaveh slump down. I looked down at him and saw him sleep peacefully. I slowly took him in my arms with what was left of my energy, and brought him to his room. I loosened his shirt and his pants so he could sleep comfortably and tucked him in. After I finished, I watched him for a couple of minutes while he was sleeping. My gaze fell on his lips and I was going to make sure he was asleep until I heard him start to snore, which gave me an answer. I leaned down to him and cupped his cheek, caressing it gently with my thumb. I kissed him very softly before pulling away. My face was red and I felt my finger start to tremble. "Don't ever make a rash decision like that ever again." I whispered next to his ear before leaving the room and going to my room to sleep.
The infamous letter:
I'm terribly sorry Alhaitham... I'm sorry I can't tell you this in person, but instead I'm writing you a letter. This letter is primarily for thanking you and for expressing my gratitude towards you, but I think you already know all about that already. So I'll be saying everything I won't be able to say. This night was never your fault and I don't want you to think in any circumstance how this was your fault. This was my decision and I'm going to have to deal with it on my own. You were so nice to me, maybe too nice now that I think of it. You charmed me the day we met and the day our paths crossed once more. Any moment of the day, you seem to charm me, whether you're happy, mad at me, stressed or in your usual stoic expression. You're eyes always made me see a glimpse of light I knew I could never achieve, but it warmed me, even if it was for a second. You gave me a sense of security and a reason to live, you're still the reason that I stayed alive, but I think I've angered you too much. I want you to stay happy with your life in a way I never could dream of. You are my last reason to live, but I've given up. I can't deal with all the pressure adding up, I feel like a ticking time bomb about to explode. And I've exploded. I'm sorry if you envy me, I'm sorry if you're sad, I'm sorry.
I love you, Alhaitham.
