𝔖𝔱𝔞𝔯 ℭ𝔯𝔬𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔡 - Clove and Cato/Clato

XIX

"I didn't know," I finally said, breaking the hour-long silence on the train ride. "It was district eleven. I'm from two. Two killed Thresh. Why would they...?" I couldn't finish as I recalled what had happened to that old man.

"They want to unitize the districts, regardless of which one you're from," Enobaria replied. "You give them hope. If an outlying district supports one of the capitol's favorites, that's one way to cause an uprising."

"But I never wanted that!" I raised my voice, causing Apple to flinch. "I just want Cato back..." I cried. "But now I don't even know if he's alive because of me. I just always fuck things up!"

No one said anything as I sobbed into my hands. All of this was too much for me. I had never let myself feel emotions before the games, and now that they were out, I didn't know how to control them. 

"Just please, help me get through this trip," I pleaded, looking up at Enobaria and Brutus with sorrowful eyes. 

Enobaria let out a huge sigh. "Oh, Clove," she practically whispered, looking down. When she looked back up at me, I could tell in her eyes that there was more bad news coming. "This trip doesn't end when you get off this train. You are a mentor, now. Every year you will be put back on this train. Your job is to distract them so that they don't look at the real problems. And let me tell you right now, honey, you are fucking it up." 

I screamed, causing Apple to flinch again. I stood up and cleared everything off of the table in one swoop. I grabbed glasses, silverware, food, or anything I could get my hands on, and I threw it all. I wanted to hear everything shatter as my heart has. Nobody moved. They let me do it. Finally, I calmed down, but I was not over it. "What do I do?" I asked harshly.

Brutus leaned forward. "You're going to smile. You are going to read the cards that Apple gives you. You are going to pretend like what happened in eleven never happened. You are going to demonstrate loyalty to the capitol." 

I was shaking, but I nodded, knowing that I didn't have a choice. Jewel then pulled me in for a hug as Enobaria rubbed my shoulder. "You're going to be okay; I promise." 

- 

From then on, at every district, I read word for word from Apple's cards. It was not easy. District eleven wasn't the only one that wanted to defy the capitol. Almost all of the middle districts had at least one person do that old man did and get killed for it. I had to continue for the sake of Cato. District five, where Finch from the games was from was one of the most difficult. Everyone kept yelling at me to put down the cards and say what I really thought. I almost did, but I kept picturing what they must be doing to Cato because of my failures. 

District one was the only one that had nothing negative to say about the capitol. I wasn't sure if it was because they were scared of what would happen to them or if they truly did support them. I cringed seeing Glimmer and Marvel's faces projected on the screens, but I had to keep my composure. When the speech was over, I let out a huge sigh of relief. I was grateful that they ended my tour on a positive note. I was hopeful that this would be able to partially make up for what happened in previous districts. Maybe Cato received a break from all the punishments thanks to the luxury district's behavior. 

I laid in bed on the train perfectly still anxious to arrive in the capitol. I would be so close to Cato, and yet so far. I heard a soft knock at the door causing me to jolt upward. It reminded me of when Cato and I were on the train for the games. 

I slid the door open and was met by Cinna. I gestured for him to come inside. He pulled me into a hug, then held my shoulders to ask if I was okay. "I don't understand why you're being so nice to me," I responded. "I killed your girl on fire."