The Heart Exchange (bnha agere)

Chapter 17: Loud Thoughts

Cws: anxiety
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  Kirishima awoke at the sound of a thud. He grumbles, turning in the sheets, and pressing his face into the pillow. Katsuki curses under his breath. Kiri can hear him wandering around the room. What's the time? Eijirou isn't sure, but he wants boyfriend cuddles. "Mmm, baby." He whines, grabbing at the air. "C'mere." The footsteps get louder, and Kiri feels a hand across his head, weaving through his hair.
   "You gotta get up, dumbass." Katsuki whispers in his ear. It makes his heart flutter. "My alarm went off twenty minutes ago." Kirishima's eyes crack open. Twenty whole minutes ago? Does this mean he's going to be late? That's the last thing he needs. Bakugo sits down on the bed, and pulls their boyfriend up into a sitting position. "Lazy bones." They say, kissing him. Eijirou leans into it, running his hands up to their neck. Katsuki let's out a low laugh as Kiri kisses his neck, and hides in his shoulder. "I got your uniform from your room so you have no excuses." He says. Except Kirishima does have an excuse - he feels ill. Not because yesterday's dinner was questionable, or because a virus had entered his system. No, because the events of last night are returning to him. And now he has the weight of it crushing him into the ground.

  "I don't want to." Eijirou complains, cuddling Bakugo. Their hands rub around his waist. They must have showered because they smell vaguely of shampoo and vanilla.
   "You can't stay in my bed all day. It's not even that comfy." Katsuki chuckles. Eijirou frowns, and squeezes him.
   "Then stay here with me." He needs to be with him to make sure he doesn't do it again - Eijirou's never been more scared of anything. He can't take the anxiety; it's making him ill. He's not somebody that commonly experiences these types of emotions, so how is he supposed to know how to deal with them? Bakugo sighs, and breaks away from him.
   "We have to go to class, idiot." He smiles, but Kirishima can't see it the same as he did before. It feels fake. Nevertheless, he hauls himself out of bed, gets dressed, inhales some burnt toast and coffee, and walks to class hand in hand with Katsuki.

   Kirishima hoped class would distract him. It didn't. He floundered in physical training, and his mind continued to wander in second period as well. He lay his head on his desk, rolling his pencil around. His phone buzzed in his pocket, so he carefully edged it out under his desk.

Lordofchaos: why you look so tired? Thought you went to sleep when I did

Redriot<3: I fell asleep a bit later dw im okay! Wby are you feeling better than yesterday???

Redriot<3: <333

Lordofchaos: yeah im fine

  Kirishima gazed at that message. He could only assume they were lying. And that sucked. But how was he supposed to bring it up? He exits his messages and goes to Google. He puts in "how to help someone with their mental health" and leans back in his chair. There's an overwhelming amount of results, and he figures he'll check them later when he isn't in class. He glances over at his boyfriend. Bakugo is writing something down, and that's when Eijirou realises he has no idea what he's supposed to be doing in this lesson.

   At lunch, he can't stomach much of his food, passing it to Katsuki. The blonde raises an eyebrow at him, hand crossing his leg under the table. "You sure you don't want it?" Kiri nods. His stomach is too knotty. Mina gives him a funny look, but nobody else says anything.
   It is final period. And the only thing on Eijirou's mind is Bakugo, and it isn't pleasant. Not at all. He wanders up to Mr Aizawa at the front of class. At least Katsuki isn't in this class - Eijirou couldn't stand it if they assumed this was their fault. "Mr Aizawa… Uhm, can I go to the quiet room, please?" He asks. He peers up from his laptop, and narrows his eyes.
   "Yes, is everything alright?" Eijirou could tell him. He could. He could.
   "Yeah, just need a bit of quiet." He grins. Mr Aizawa nods, and Kiri leaves. And when he gets there, he dumps his bag on the floor. And he cries.

  Bakugo swung through Kirishima's doorway. He was feeling better, actually. Maybe it was the regression that helped, and Kirishima's undeniable talent in making them feel so safe. Oh, of course it was. Though, he couldn't remember much from last night. It was all rather vague, and he probably said something weird that he can't recall. "Kiri, are you busy?" He asks, watching Eijirou scroll through his phone. The boy jumps at the sound of their voice, slamming his phone down on the bed.
   "Hm? Nope, what do you need?" He smiles. Katsuki ambles over, and plants himself on his boyfriend's lap. Eijirou giggles with surprise. Katsuki had come with a proposition. After rethinking everything he could remember from yesterday, and shoving aside his pride for a full thirty seconds, he has decided Eijirou was onto something with the pacifier idea. Bakugo can't admit that even the idea of having one draws him into regressing. Still the shame of having to bring this up makes his face hot.

   "Wanna go and get some… Stuff?" Okay, kind of unclear, could be talking about crack-cocaine. Eijirou gives him a look of puzzlement, and Bakugo huffs, realising he's going to have to be specific about this. Whatever, it's just Kiri. They lean against him, twisting the base of their shirt. "I mean, you talked about it yesterday and I know I said it was a stupid idea," Eijirou's face suddenly lights up, and he bounces them on his lap.
   "Oh, you do want a pacifier?" He teases, now aware of the topic. Katsuki rolls his eyes, and playfully slaps him round the head.
   "Fuck, maybe, Kiri." He blushes. "I don't know." Kiri pecks him on the cheek.
   "Aw, you'll be so happy when you're little again and you have one." He adds. Katsuki supposed he was right about that - they could imagine themselves sitting on the floor playing with building blocks, with a pacifier in their mouth and-
   Katsuki stopped swinging his legs, and got off of Eijirou's lap. Okay, he wanted more than just a pacifier, but that was mortifying enough on it's own. "Let's go shopping then." Kiri says grabbing his wallet from his desk. They better not see anyone from class there, or Katsuki might die of embarrassment.
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A/N: Ayo on their way to get that littlespace drip??