The Heart Exchange (bnha agere)

Chapter 25: Healing Process

Cws: talk of self-harm, possibly triggering language around self-harm
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      Katsuki yawns. Kirishima is sitting on his bed, making revision notes for the upcoming biology exam. Bakugo sits beside him. He still feels a bit… Awkward after what happened yesterday. He wasn't entirely aware that intense positive emotions could also lure out that little, naive side of him. They'd mostly assumed only negative stuff could trigger their regression, though it seems that may not be the case. Luckily the others were oblivious to Bakugo's change in mindset; Kirishima didn't have to lean into that though, did he? Katsuki had felt so incredibly awkward, and recalling it a day later continued to make them cringe.

    Katsuki sighs, setting down his pen, and pulling his hoodie off. The weather today is warmer than usual, and Katsuki would fry if he was to spend much longer in that hoodie. His wrists had scabbed by now - whilst not particularly pretty, they're trying to heal - and considering Eijirou was knowledgeable about what's going on now, Bakugo decided he may as well take off his hoodie. Because why not? He's hot, and he wants to. Katsuki notices Kiri peering at him inquisitively. The feeling of Eijirou's eyes trailing up and down their arms is mildly unnerving, but Bakugo understands why he's gawking. "It looks like they're healing." Eijirou says, after a few minutes of silence. Katsuki nods, flicking through the biology textbook. "That's great, isn't it?" Their boyfriend adds. It is, but Bakugo knows he'll feel some vague, empty disappointment when the marks disappear.

     Kirishima leans against him, smiling. He looks beyond happy, and it begins putting Bakugo in a pleasant mood. Well, until Eijirou opens his mouth again. "It's good that they're not that deep, means they heal quicker." It's such a simple sentence, and yet it manages to drive Katsuki's happiness into a wall within a second. And they just sit there; a dreadful cold washing through them, because "not that deep" is as good as a death sentence. Eijirou notices this mood shift, and pulls away, slipping his hand over Katsuki's. "Are you alright?" He asks. Bakugo frowns. The irritation and spite he's feeling from Kiri's comment lights his fuse, and he tears his hand away.

     "That was a really shitty fucking thing to say, Kiri. What the fuck…" They hiss. They glance down at their wrists. Kiri isn't wrong, but…
     "What? But I'm being honest. And I thought it was a good thing. You don't want to be covered in scars do you?" Eijirou is talking in a soft sympathetic tone, but Katsuki can only hear his initial statement echoing around in his head.
     "You can't say that." Katsuki argued, coolly. Eijirou frowned, watching Bakugo close up. He couldn't catch their eye.
       "Why not?" Kirishima asked. To him, it didn't make a lot of sense. It was surely a good thing that Bakugo hadn't made any deep marks, right? Yet Katsuki was grimacing, and Eijirou couldn't independently understand why.

    "Because it's invalidating. That's why." Bakugo grumbled, fiddling with his pen. "It's like.. They're not bad enough." Kirishima listened, and paused, and sighed. He could feel his face getting warm - he was becoming sick of not understanding, and being oblivious. Kiri would ask Mr Aizawa for help, but he didn't want to be explicit with it. As in, he didn't want to tell his teacher who he was referring to. Eijirou worried that'd upset Bakugo beyond consolidation, and he didn't know if it was serious enough to expose his boyfriend's problems to an adult yet.
       "I'm sorry. I didn't… I don't know much about this stuff." Eijirou replies. "I wasn't trying to insinuate anything like that." Finally Katsuki meets his eyes again. They lean over, and softly press a kiss to his cheek.
        "Yeah, I forget that." He adds, leaning into Eijirou's chest. "I can't stay mad at you, dumbass." This helps Kiri grin again, face tinting with blush as he holds Katsuki against him. How'd he get so lucky to bag Katsuki Bakugo, he may never fully process, but he's definitely grateful. He shoves Katsuki down onto the bed, and straddles him, eyes glittering.
         "I'm just too charming to stay mad at. That's why, huh?" Eijirou purrs, nestling his face into Katsuki's neck, and kissing it. Bakugo let out a low giggle, and Kiri could feel their hands running through his hair, making a mess of it. He didn't much mind. As far as Kirishima was concerned, Bakugo could stick a crayon up his nose, and put clown face paint on him, and Kiri would still be in a state of undisturbed bliss.

      Eijirou grabs Captain from across the bed, and nuzzles him in Bakugo's face. "Roar!" He laughed, watching his boyfriend's face crease in amusement.
        "The hell are you doing…?" Bakugo snorted, taking Captain and tossing them back across the bed into the pillows. "You weirdo. Can't believe I had to date the Crimson Riot-obsessed, homo loser Kirishima." He smirks, an air of deviant playfulness allowing Eijirou to roll his eyes and laugh. Kiri holds their face in place, and kisses them.
        "I'll have you know that dating me is a privilege not many get." He argued. "Besides, you can't tolerate anyone else." Bakugo smiles because they know he's right. Nobody can unhook Katsuki's heart from the coat hanger and wear it so proudly as Kirishima.

     Students began filing out of the room, whilst Eijirou is still attempting to retain the courage to ask Mr Aizawa for advice. Of course, there'd be stuff on the Internet to read, but Kiri wanted a more personal viewpoint on the situation. He shoved his books into his bag. Tokoyami was taking his sweet old time to leave the room, and Mr Aizawa looked closer to death than usual - Eijirou really didn't want to test his patience by saying something dumb. "Can… Can I ask about your opinions on some stuff?" Kirishima asks, ambling across the room once Tokoyami was gone. Mr Aizawa glanced up from his laptop, sighing deeply.
       "Yes, unless it's about politics, we're not allowed to say who we vote for… And I also don't want to talk about fishing, though that's a personal thing." Mr Aizawa murmurs. His eyes narrow. "Damn fishing…" Kiri pauses, mildly confused, before pursuing his topic.
        "Uh… Okay, well… Actually, I wanted to talk about mental health issues. It's not about me, I'm just curious. Do you know much about self-harm?" He asks, feeling a bit nervous to meet Mr Aizawa's eyes on the off chance his teacher would be able to read his mind.
       "I do. There are many reasons someone may do it, and for some people, it can become an addiction. Is there anything you specifically want me to explain?" Mr Aizawa's dead-eyed teacher look from earlier has somewhat dissipated, and Kirishima wondered if the new life in his stare was brought on by concern.

      "How would you help someone that self-harms?" Eijirou pressed. Mr Aizawa sighs again, and clears his throat.
      "Kirishima, if you are aware another student is indulging in self-harming behaviour, then you need to tell a member of staff. It doesn't have to be me, but it needs to be one of us." His voice softens. "It's very serious." Eijirou bites his lip, suddenly feeling like Mr Aizawa has flattened him with a whole planet's worth of pressure. But he doesn't want to tell just yet; not until he's spoken to Bakugo about it.
        "I know it is. I'm just asking how you'd help someone. I'm talking hypothetically." He states.
        "I'd suggest making yourself a comfortable person for them to talk to. Help distract them when they are experiencing those thoughts, often those urges can pass after an hour or so. Don't make them feel ashamed of their actions." Mr Aizawa explains. His eyes still seem suspicious, but he hasn't pushed a further investigation. Eijirou picks up his bag again. That's good enough advice for now - the Internet can expand on the rest.
         "Thanks. That's good to know." Kirishima says, walking to the classroom door. Mr Aizawa only nods at him.
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A/N: Man, okay, sorry for this update not even being on schedule, I'm so busy with exam stuff right now! I've got a brief time off right now, and I decided to write something for y'all. Next update will probably be in three weeks or something because I've got the second half of my exams to power through, so yes, my hiatus will continue :(