Cant You See To Me Your Dead. (Remembering Sunday Sequel)

For the days I feel completely worthless.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked me, a look of both shock and anger crossing his face, he couldn't see me properly from where he was sat on the ground, the sun's glare caught in his eyes. 

"your the only person left for me to talk to, kind of sick when you think about it" I admitted to him, stepping away from the light and letting him see the tears stream down my red face. 

"You look upset" He observed, not moving from his spot under the tree. 

"does that make you happy" I asked him, moving to sit down next to him under the shade of the tree. 

"Not nearly as much as I thought I would be" He admitted, looking at me concerned, this I never expected. 

"Why did you do it?" He asked me, placing his hand comfortingly on my shoulder. 

"Because I thought I was a fugitive, I hated it everyday, in three/four years you were one of the only things that made it all worth living" He nodded, looking away for a moment and then brushing the floor. 

"I don't know If I can ever forgive you... Ella" I nodded at him, brushing the floor with my fingers. 

"I don't expect you to" I told him, plucking the grass between my fingers. 

"Is Ella short for anything" I almost shook my head, but then I thought about it..

"I.. have no idea, Ive never seen my birth certificate, I don't even know what my mother looked like" I told him, unphased its not like I can change my past. 

"You really did have a fucked up childhood didn't you?" He asked me, concern on his face. 

"Nope, my childhood was perfect" He looked at me confused like I was crazy. 

"I had Rian" I told him in shock, realising that it was 100% true. 

"Why did you come to me?" He asked, turning his body so he could look me directly in the face. 

"Honestly Josh, I'm not sure" I told him, watching him flinch at the use of his name. 

"Okay then, why were you crying?" I let him brush the tears away from my eyes, smiling slightly at the friendly contact. 

"Rian told me he loved me just before kissing me" Josh nodded taking a second to gage the situation. 

"And your worried Alex will freak out and break up with you?" He asked me rolling his eyes and going to get up, looking at me like I was boring him. 

"Nope" I told him, making him look back at me and stay where he was. 

"I'm worried that I feel the same way" Josh nodded, placing his hand on my shoulder and shaking his head. 

"Ah well your fucked then" I nodded, almost cracking a smile at the brutality of his words. 

"Yup" 

Alex's Pov

"You do know you can talk to me about this right?" She told me, placing her hand on my leg, I jumped up immediately, staring at her quizzically, talk really after all this time she thinks I can just talk.

"I know, Ive just had four years practice at being alone" I almost shouted, storming away from her and out of the bus, I just needed to be anywhere but here. 

I just need to go some place where I cant think, where its so loud and the speakers make me want to puke, good thing were on warped tour. 

I noticed on the line up New Found Glory were playing in 30 minutes at the KIA, Luckily I wearing a beanie and some sunglasses so I just decided to go, fuck it. 

Every time I saw a girl with red hair I had to do a double take, it made my heart flutter fifty times in my chest, then it made me realise something, I had her back, yet something inside me was still looking for her, she wasn't the same kid from my memories, but could I really hold that against her. 

Maybe Matt was right, it was never about her, just the idea of her, I mean after you build something up for that long its never as good as you make it out to be, shes changed, Ive changed, does that change anything?

I let myself get lost in the crowd, the sound of new found glory filling my head, I just let myself get lost in the music and not think, then they started to play head on collision and I couldn't hold it in anymore, I thought about the time we played together, how perfect and natural she looked.

All the time we spent together, the day she left how I fell to my knees in the street.

It made me realise that yeah we've both changed, but I still love her and that's all that matters, you cant expect a person not to change, and its almost always for the better. 

That's when I realised what I had to do and that was go and find her, I turned abruptly on my heel and tried to push my way out of the crowd, towards the middle section a few people were gathered around watching some people make out or something, I just laughed a big smile forming on my face, I then started to run, I needed to apologise to her, needed to tell her that I love her. 

I ran right back to our bus, jumping inside and screaming out her name a few times, naturally Jack came tumbling out of his bunk and hit the ground with a confused thud, I ran over to him and helped him up, ignoring the fact that he was fucking naked. 

"Ella seen her?" I asked him, poking at his tattoo. 

"mehfdh" He replied trying to climb back into his bunk. 

"jack" I warned him with a stiff face. 

"Ask Zack, hes outside" I nodded at him and headed outside, hes useless when hes just woken up. 

I noticed Zack sat under our tent sipping a beer, and ran to him, shaking my head when he offered me one. 

"Haven't seen Ella have you?" I asked him, panting a little from all the running. 

"Yeah I think they went to the main stage to watch some music" He told me, scratching the back of his head and giving me a casual glance.

"Ive just been there and I didn't see them" I remarked, screwing my face up. 

Zack shrugged, passing me a beer as I sat down on the cooler, making my ass instantly cold. 

"Actually there he is" Zack pointed behind me to Rian walking in our direction, a little grimace on his face that seemed to clear when he saw me. 

"Rian, have you seen Ella?" He nodded, and then paused. 

"Yeah but after nfg finished she said she had something to sort out, try the youmeatsix bus?" I nodded, handing my beer to Rian and walking in the direction of there bus, on my way there I sent rob a text but no luck he hasn't seen her today. 

I got to the youmeatsix bus and nearly all of them were outside sun bathing and drinking, baring Josh actually, but Ella wouldn't be talking to him right. 

"Hi guys, you seen Ella" It took a while for them to click, max even muttered the word Abigail, one by one each of them shook there heads and looked towards the ground, now I was worried. 

"I just cant think of anywhere else she could be, were like the only people she knows on tour" I explained, watching Chris rack his brains. 

"well Josh is penciling some lyrics under that massive tree ne'er the back of the introducing stage, guess its worth a try" Chris told me, not looking very optimistic. 

"Just don't be surprised if he wants to punch you alright?" Dan interjected, looking almost apologetic, I nodded. 

"Yeah don't worry, see-ya guys thanks" Max pointed me in the right direction and for the 5th time today I started to run again, don't think Ive ever done this much exercise.. 

I stuck to the behind the scenes parts, not mingling into the main crowds, running by stages acts and crew, smiling and waving when I was recognised, I got to the introducing stage and had a look around, just outside the metal fence was a large tree, under it sat Josh and Ella, his hand on her knee, they were almost smiling, what the fuck. 

AN- just a small update as promised, the next one will be longer, and may or not be the last chapter haven't decided yet !!