Cant You See To Me Your Dead. (Remembering Sunday Sequel)

Ive never lit a match with intent to start a fire.

Alex's Pov

I been back in Baltimore for almost a week now and the most I've left the house once to see my parents and to get more drink, Please don't look at me like my fragile little boy but we all know I'm a mess  and I'm  broken and there's no fixing me not without her.

Unfortunately today I have to get up, I have to move today we are playing a show at our first venue, And our last ever venue with her, One of the last places she saw before she was taken from us, I have spent the last four years trying to avoid the place but now they're just throwing me in there and hoping for the best, I climbed out of the bed already dressed for, the previous day, weird I know but all I do is sit in bed sulking, I slid on my shoes and mad my way down the stairs, the clock said 2am, I staggered out of the door my hangover hitting me like a tun of falling bricks, I think this is the most sober I've been in days.

I staggered out the front door trying to shut it quietly there's no need to make Rian any more worried than he already is, I knew jack would probably be at his parents seen as he's the only one to not have a place, Zack would be pissed if I even attempted to wake him up, then a thought occurred to me, before thinking it over I was on my way.

 I walked towards the house that everything unfolded at I walked quickly my eyes brushing the surroundings the closer I got the more memories unfolded, her fathered evil face lifeless staring up at me, her voice mail, her last words, I couldn't get my head around it, they sweep-ed the canal, dug up the woods, sent out search party's nothing, I just feel like until she's found I will never be able to let her go.

I stood under the street lamp right in front of her former house, a new family had moved in not long after everything happened, how could you live in a house with that much past, flowers still Adorne's the side of the house fresh bouquet's lined the pavement even after four years, my fingers brushed over there plastic wrapping and came to a small white card her name signed over sloppily, I couldn't read this letter could I, I debated it for a moment before tucking the white envelope into my jean pocket, I couldn't stand being near the house anymore too may memories, the countless times I watched her little red head bob up and down walking towards the car, she always in a hurry to get to me she wouldn't smile until we had pulled away from the curb, at least I know why.

I walked slowly back home the cold biting into my flesh with every step, but that only seemed to make me want to go slower, the pain seemed to cover up the pain of missing her, concentration on the icy kiss of the cold took the pain away, it made me feel something else other than four years of regret and loneliness. 

I quickly turned my key in the lock and let myself into the house, I considered drinking it just seemed to pointless alcohol didn't take away the pain it just added to it, I trudged up the stairs to my bedroom and sunk down on my bed, okay so i will admit it, things aren't looking good for me, I'm a walking travesty. 

I instinctively put my hands into my pockets to warm them up, the letter from earlier pressed into the palm of my hands, I gasped audibly and pulled it out examining the edges and smirking slightly, the  hand writing was familiar I just couldn't place it, I tore open the envelope and started to read the letter. 

Dead Girl. 

Poor dead girl she had a terrible life everybody hated her, her dad beat her up, WAH WAH WAH, does it make you happy down there in hell, does it bring a smile to your face as you rot away in the burning fires, knowing everyone pity's you so much, I bet you get a sick kick out of it done you, the fact that for almost four years people have cried for you, MORNED YOU. 

You cant have been that good a person if your own dad didn't think you worthy of living, I just wish you could have been a little more considerate in life, YOU FUCKED EVERYTHING UP.