TASTE OF HER VENOM
Chapter 5: GrapesTW: Panic attack!
I've been searching for some references for almost an hour now para sa gagawin kong painting pero wala pa rin akong mapili. Ang kocomplicated ng iba, may mga madadali nga pero wala akong maintindihan sa kinoconvey ng message, abstract lahat.
Napagpasyahan kong magpahinga muna saglit. I went straight to my kitchen to get a freshener but to my dismay, I found my mini refrigerator empty. Doon ko lang naalala na hindi pa nga pala ako nakakapaggrocery and what's worst is I don't have any money with me. Literal na namamalimos na lang ako sa pinsan ko pang-allowance. Four days had past since my parents locked all my sources of money but it felt like I was dying already. Hindi ako makapaniwalang magagawa nila akong gipitin ng ganito katindi. What a fuck up universe!
I annoyingly slumped myself on my sofa before turning on the television. Sinubukan kong maghanap ng mapapanood pero walang makakuha ng atensyon ko. My mind was too caught up by my school and personal life. Dami-daming problema pero ni isa wala akong maisip na solusyon.
Turning off the television, I tried to log in on my IG to kill time. Mamaya ko na lang siguro sisimulan yung painting. Hindi rin ako makakapagfocus kung marami akong iniisip.
Tons of notifications flooded in after I logged in. Kung bagay lang talaga 'tong socmed baka may agiw at alikabok na 'tong account ko. Wala naman kase akong ipopost dito. Alangan namang si mommy ipost ko?
Despite of that, my followers hit thousands and mostly mga estudyante lang din sa Livingston.
Hindi ako nag-abalang magbukas ng messages o kahit ng mga notifications. I just scrolled through my feed and almost everyone posted their photos from their August dumps a week ago. That was when I realized that we just entered the month of September. Kaya pala may nagpapatugtog na ng kanta ni Jose Mari Chan sa mall nung isang araw.
I scrolled and scrolled until a post from someone I hadn't heard and seen for years got my attention. It was posted seven days earlier.
Hindi lang isa kung hindi nine pictures ni tito Luther na nasa isang five star hotel here in Manila ang pinost niya. It was like he attended in an event based on the background and the suit he was wearing. I didn't know na nakabalik na pala si tito after six years, hindi man lang siya nagsabi.
Out of curiosity, I did stalk his account and I was surprised to see na binura na niya yung mga old photos and videos niya at tanging yung post lang na yun ang nakalagay sa timeline niya. Therefore, I went back to his post and read its caption.
Back with a purpose
Correspondingly, I browsed in the comment section pero wala namang kakaiba sa mga comment. Nang magsawa ay naligo muna ako nang mabilisan bago muling sinimulan yung painting.
"I'm done. I won't do this shit anymore" tuluyan na akong sumuko kakasubok sa sobrang inis ko. I couldn't even drew a line on this freaking canvas.
Iniwan ko ang hindi ko nasimulang painting at humilata sa kama ko. I only have two days to think kung tatanggapin ko ba yung pagiging student assistant ni Professor Del Valle. Sa sitwasyon ko ngayon hindi ko na makita kung anong maaari kong gawin but to take the job. It's like I have a choice eh pinagtutulungan na nila ako.
By that, I know real shits are about to come soon..
◈ ━━━━━━━ ⸙ - ⸙ ━━━━━━━ ◈
Lutang akong pumasok sa unang klase ko dahil bukod sa napuyat ako kakaisip kung paanong sisimulan yung painting ay hindi ko maalis sa isip ko yung contract. Ngayon ang araw kung kailan ipapasa ko na yung contract but I'm not in my right mind to think of anything.
BINABASA MO ANG
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