MOURNING HAZE

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I woke up this morning,
Feeling a little breathless.
It felt like the world was mourning,
my ristrictions which once were boundless.

When I stepped out,
I never felt the urge to shout.
My voice was unheard once again,
But the ignorance wasn't as deliberate..
So I wanted to celebrate,
I wanted to sing and dance,
and laugh and cry,
If I had a chance,
Then I would never deny.

But then I got wounded : remembrance,
The wound was called self hate,
I wanted to be embraced,
But was paranoid to be used as a bait.

Whenever I looked at the mirror,
The vision was quite clear-
A being so undeserving,
struck by self loathing,
was always condoning,
that the wound wasn't improving.

Today again the mirror is clear,
The haze is not there ,
But the vision is not this sphere.

Today my hands are red,
My room is black,
The darkness has consumed me ,
And I have already taken my last breath....

Atleast I don't hate myself anymore......

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