Calloused Hearts

Chapter 5

A/N: This is kinda short 'cuz it's a filler chapter.

"How are we going to find him? He could be anywhere in Ketterdam. Anywhere," Jesper said, worry in his voice as he paced the room.

"Jesper if you're not quiet, you will be the one who goes missing next," Kaz warned.

Once Jesper had revealed that Wylan was missing, the 3 of you had found the others and were currently in Wylan's room.

Everyone was exhausted, and Jesper's panic wasn't helping anyone focus.

You sighed, "Kaz, calm down," you said,turning your head to look at him. The relationship between the both of you had shifted significantly after your little moment in the office, and you found him standing not more than an arm's distance away ever since.

He only gave you a blank stare, before resuming his inspection of the room. You looked to Jesper, ignoring everyone's confused looks, and Nina's amused one, as you gestured for him to follow you outside.

"What?" he asked the second you both were out.

"I'm sorry," you muttered. You couldn't help but feel guilty for Wylan's disappearance considering that Pekka was most probably counting on a trade off.

"If you think this is your fault, I can be the first to assure you, it's not."

"Yes it is. And you know it."

Jesper sighed, looking down. You tried to meet his eyes, "Jes."

"I won't lie, Wylan was taken to be used against us for you, but it's not because of you," he responded, looking straight into your eyes, with his tired ones.

You couldn't help but nod, knowing arguing wouldn't change anything. He shook his head, "I need a drink," he said before walking past you. You watched him leave, disappointment crawling up in your chest. He didn't deserve this. None of them did.

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Kaz was a mess.

Would he ever admit it? No.

Last night had left him feeling so many emotions that he couldn't process them. At this point, he didn't know if he wanted to. He wasn't sure of the outcome and he didn't like anything he wasn't sure of.

You were back. And as much as he had tried to convince himself that you weren't the same person....you were. You were still Y/N L/N, his best friend. Especially after seeing you nearly flinch when Jesper had put his arm around your shoulder, he realized that he may not have been the only one that went through for 6 six years. Even Dirtyhands couldn't stay mad at you after that.

And Jesper....he was gonna kill him.

You were Kaz's.

And Jesper was hell bent on messing with that. At least, it seemed so.

Kaz didn't know if you felt the same way he did. If your heart raced everytime he was close.

If he made all the demons seem more bearable.

The way you did for him.

And as if just thinking about you was enough to bring you forth, you were standing next to him, staring at Wylan's empty bed.

"You think they did it here too?" you asked.

Anyone else would've thought you were trying to make light of the situation. But Kaz wasn't anyone. Your tone was off, a sliver of fear and anger tucked away under the disguise of a joke.

He just turned to look at you, your tired eyes already on him. He lifted a single eyebrow, causing you to let out a small laugh, the raging emotions in him multiplying rapidly.

There was a tense silence after, both of you just staring at the empty room in front.

"Kaz-"

"We talked about this."

"Kaz, what if he decides to kill Wylan if I'm not turned over? What then? Imagine Jesper's state. Imagine everyone's state," you pleaded.

You were right. Kaz hated it.

Pekka wanted a trade off, and if he didn't get one, the chances of him killing Wylan were high.

But he couldn't trade you off. Not now. He'd just gotten you back. Just the thought of losing you again, and this time in the hands of the very man that had ruined his life, made Kaz want to murder him with his bare hands.

"No."

"Kaz-"

"NO!" he yelled. "You don't get it."

"You would trade Wylan's life for me?" you asked.

Kaz watched the fear and confusion in your eyes as the question hit him hard.

The truth? He would. Maybe not Wylan's life, but he would definitely not stay this calm if it was you in his place. Because you were so much more to him than family. Without you there was no him. No Kaz. You were the only thing that made him Kaz Rietveld. You were the only thing that made him human.

But he couldn't say it. He couldn't admit how much you meant to him. Not then. Not now.

"No."

And he swore he saw hurt flicker in your eyes.

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Nina was having the time of her life.

Was she upset about Wylan? Of course!

But whatever was going between you and Kaz was keeping her mind too preoccupied. She knew Jesper had all the details, but what kind of a person would she be if she asked him at a time like this.

She'd felt the rise in heartbeats. The little jumps whenever you both looked at each other.

She loved the slow burn romance of it all. But knowing what you both felt for each other and watching the obliviousness of it all...she swore she would have to end up nearly killing one of you to get the truth out.

She watched as you abruptly left Wylan's room, running upstairs.

But most of all, she felt your fast, steady heartbeat.

You were up to something.

And it didn't seem like something good.