step one:
through the glimmerglad window
the remote-control car takes hold
of the boy's reaching hand, breathing
into him an itch that can be scratched
only by a control that's bigger than desire.
the glint in his eyes is like the horizon
of unexpectations that the eyesmearing sailors see.
when the father slaps the boy
the tearferried glint tyndalls
in the headlights of the toy car.
step two:
the glint in his eyes is like the horizon
of unexpectations that the eyesmearing sailors see
after a storm. the father was a sailor too.
he cups the shoulders of the boy
before he runs into the glass shattering the distance
that controls his desire, makes him understand.
when the boy doesn't understand, the father makes him accept.
he plays with the cheap consolation car
like a dying child at his dead mother's breast.
step three:
the boy knows his father is a sailor.
he walks past the shimmersad window.
the father takes hold of him
and buys him the toy car but the glint is gone
as soon as accepting became understanding
and controlling desire wouldn't even barely begin desire's end.
~ ajay
14/4/2023
YOU ARE READING
ways of slowly dying ~ poetry
Poetry"life is slow dying. so are their separate ways of building, benediction, measuring love and money ways of slowly dying." ~ philip larkin
