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Growing up, my parents always taught me to be myself because that was good enough. People would love Mariah for who she is because she is a great person.
However, I never really felt like I could be my true self around either of them. Growing up in a Catholic household, there were just some things that I was taught were unforgivable.
But if being myself is good enough, why would God forsake me when I was made in His image and His likeliness? I will never understand.
It's not a secret that I'm a people pleaser. Too busy trying to please my parents, my fans, my family, and God, that I will run away from the things that make me happy and content in life.
If Jesus died on that cross for me, I know He wants me to live in my truth instead of in others'. One day I'll muster the courage to do that, but it'll take time. Maybe I'll have someone to walk on that journey with me. In God's timing.
Atlanta, GA; 2011
One day Anthony and I were at my house waiting for his parents to get off work, because he forgot his key yet again. He begged to come to my house because we lived close, and it was too hot to stay outside waiting for them.
I was reluctant knowing how my parents are, but I remembered they were working late, so I thought why not? Morgan wouldn't mind since she was familiar with Anthony. He'd only been my friend since the beginning of freshman year, but I loved him dearly.
We always hung out at his house, which led him to question me and my home life. It was always the same excuses every time. My parents were either working or weren't welcoming guests into the home.
I would feel bad if anything happened to him, like a heatstroke or something, so I offered for him to stay at my house then Morgan could take him home when his parents finished working.
We got situated in my room and I started on my homework while Anthony did whatever he wanted. He mostly observed my room and all the trophies and metals I had but didn't say anything about them. I went to put my earbuds in when he turned to me.
"Girl I know you are not about to do your homework. Not when you have a guest to be entertaining."
I rolled my eyes at him, but couldn't help but let out a chuckle. My parents always said I should work hard so I can play later, but I guess I'll make an exception for Anthony.
"What do you want to do? There's literally nothing in my room." I stated. Besides the awards from dancing, I wasn't really into anything other than fashion.
