Confidante

Am I sinking?

My mind even got weaker at that moment.

I can't even control my the way my heart tells me to

My phone kept on ringing till I heard a knock on my door.

It was Chom...

C: P'Van told me to check on you. Your tweet became viral.

"No, Shit."

Here goes nothing, I wasn't able to stop because they kept on reposting and sharing the songs. I decided to deactivate my account.

C: You need to explain, they said. SHE knew she also deactivated her account.

Chom let me see her post saying "Some things are just too much"

How can I express what I'm feeling...I.DON'T.  i... can't ... have this...

Just to clear things up I began to write whatever comes to mind.

"I'm sorry for causing troubles"

I threw my phone away, I just curled up and cry. Why am I feeling this way?

Did you ever feel what I felt?

Or is it only me who felt what we felt that night?

For the moments that we had, was it ever replaced?

Tears kept flowing

again, memories of us kept flashing on my head.

Back to those moments when I felt things differently

~~My best was just fine/ How I tried, how I tried to be great for you//I'm flawed by design and you love to remind me/No matter what I do~~

***Flashback***

We went back to our rooms since our training,

"How's the training?" you asked.

"It's fine but I am not confident in my walk. I might trip anytime."

I honestly said with a dissatisfied face. yet you just stared at me, 

till I look back because you weren't saying anything. You're now smiling.

"Is there something on my face?" I'm about to check my face in the mirror but your reply made me stop from rushing in.

"I find your walk beautiful, you just have to know that you're beautiful and you look sexy...Uhh,..Let me go to shower first." I moved back and smiled when you complimented me.

____________________________________________________

"Do you like Charlotte?"

"Well, who will not like her...she's cute and adorable, sweet at the same time. we both support each other and be there when we need some encouragement whenever we need it. She's the type of person you don't want to lose."

_______________________________________________________

Thank God this day was a vacant day for me, I woke up late with the succeeding knock on my door. As I opened the door it was Nudee and Chompu, bringing me food. I can feel my head hurts from crying.

"We're going to see them in days .Are you ready?"

"I think I might be busy when they arrived here, I've resched my work today they just confirmed it now."

"Girlie, you okay? You're crying last night."

I took a deep breath, I am now okay, I must not cross the line anymore.

"Yeah, It was just a PMS." Good liar, way to go self.

Just how these two reacted, I'll be under their observation.

Later that night:

Nudee called the gang to have a dinner to make plans upon welcoming the Top 10 MGI. They have to go to my room first so that I'll be able to go out and have dinner with them.

N: Okay, P'Van told me that to those who are available tomorrow can come with Heidi and Me...

Most of them can come but they are all looking at my direction waiting for my confirmation but I already got my true excuse, I have a meeting with a sponsor on that day but I can ask favor to Heidi to buy some sunflowers for the top 10. Just 1 flower each is enough...

As we close the night we went to a certain pub where we can keep our privacy in that placed since it was owned by Chom's sister.

Chom: You better watch your intake, Missy.

Nudee: Just let her be, we can take care of her. We'll just update P'fa later.

Did I hear your name from these people or I was hallucinating? Amma finish this bottle so that we can all go home. No one was able to stop me because they knew, I badly needed this drink.

~~But you won't see me break, call you up in three days /Or send you a bouquet, saying, "It's a mistake"//Drink my troubles away, one more glass of champagne

And you know~~

Oh you'll know...