Confidante

is it never enough?

I can't put into words how I'm feeling right now.

Things were so good whenever we are together,

Why this distance makes it more difficult.

I just can't stop myself from sobbing but I am aware I have to let it out.

Absent-mindedly, I opened my tiktok account and I saw some old moments of ours that were really fun and I only feel that feeling when I'm with you. You should be aware and yet you're thinking I'm like the others. I can really let it prove in time, only time will tell.

"Have you ever looked and felt the love I have been trying to show ..only for you?"

It seems like my mind has its own as I contemplate. My mind went really back to the memory lane that became my core memory in every chapter of us. As I connect these fragments...I should've known....

"Don't let your personal feelings interfere with your dreams. Ingfa you are our hope. This is your last chance to prove your worth, please don't let us down. Everything will come in your way but always remember your journey was not that easy. We both have dreams to chase, your success is ours too. You are the success of Miss Grand, my child. "

"I am the type of person that if I Like someone, I'll be showing it towards the person."

"I support the community and yet I don't have any experience in dating girls."

"Yes, I am here as her younger sister that supports her as she carries our flag in the field of pageantry."

sister. right, there's no chance to be lover. But I am sure we felt something that night.

"As your older sister hear me out... you deserve the love that stays and you know how you love and pain is attached to it. don't let your feelings take away from your dreams, ever again."

Right, I must set things right and focus on my growth in my career.

Focus...

And I woke up feeling nothing and focused on the things that allow myself to be occupied not to give the feelings that I have been expressing to her for months now, I guess being in love will really have the right time just like what's happening now.

Days later...

Been trying to work things out and what the doctor told me that I should socialise and do my job denying the heartbreak that I felt the past days is quite therapeutic being busy kept my thoughts busy but getting notified in every work. Things are back after the issue toned down , I haven't heard anything from her either but someone kept giving me her whereabouts...

Nudee

"She's pretty occupied with the jobs and endorsements now and every Friday night she decides to go to the bar. "

As long as she's happy and still working, I'll support her...even from afar. I smiled as I read that, we're both doing the things we've dreamed of...chasing our dreams as we take 

same pace ,

same hearts?

Oh stop with the "hopia" feelings Engfa.. (a.n: hopia is an chinese pastry that is also a slang that means hoping for nothing.)

Am I really hopia?

I shook my head once my head started to over think again about what is really inside my heart. As Elsa said in the movie Frozen, "Conceal..don't feel..."