Confidante

Almost,

Author's Note: Hi fam, Miss me? For the first time, this will be a long update . Hope you enjoy!

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I'd like to say we gave it a try

I'd like to blame it all on life

Maybe we just weren't right

But that's a lie, that's a lie

"Everyone is vulnerable,...She's 23 and still not used to being a public person...when we're in the spotlight, there are people who are glad for us and some not, some love or hate you...So we have to be ready, staying strong." (BearyMuch, Translation)

Engfa's POV

Things went fast just like before but this time it's more different. The world now I am in got bigger and wider. The people I met along this journey are really overwhelming. I am trying to keep my pace to stay calm in situations like this. I prepared myself for this and there's still this fear that I have this weakness that they may use it against me that may cause my anxiety to be triggered. There are times I just want to be quiet and sleep cause it makes me feel kinda sleepy and zoning out.

As I'm having this new venture with new people, I heard many stories about how we all came here but there's one person because I felt how tough her journey is for her to reach where she is now. She can inspire people through her story and I am one of them. She has no close kin so all I did was to be the one she needed, an older sister. I keep on reminding her that she's appreciated and admired by the people around her. Our friendship grew and yet, I wasn't aware that the outside world understood what's happening inside the bubble.

I also stayed off social media 'cause the doctor advised me to stay away from distracting my focus that I try to balance. Since I will be exposed to social events which drains me at the end of the day. Glad I still have people that I can be with who understand who I really am.

We all have free time to chill out before heading to the next event. I felt that this sister of mine became a little distant, as all of the cameras were off . That's when she sat near me...

         "Hey, I'm sorry I was distant for days now. I was bashed as I was trying to be close to you. There are times that they speak too much. And I am reminded by my own fans to stay away from you so I won't get bashed. Which it's all in our language you may not understand the contexts but that was the gist. That's why every time we are on the camera I try to refrain myself from being close to you."

I decided to check out social media. I was shocked by the headlines. I never expected this to happen, there are some who messaged me and checked if all of the clips are real... I was only being that caring but there are some who went overboard. I didn't say anything at the moment cause I thought that would pass, we became comfortable as we are all sisters in the organization. Though there's few comments from foreign languages but- well...reality is different from the social apps. I locked my phone and heaved a sigh.

As I was enjoying the view, P'Van came to me...

P'Van: you better clear things...

E: Again? Can they just let me have a few friends here? That's what the organization stands for right? building friendships? why create such a big fuss about it?

P'Sun held my hand because I raised my voice. This may also be another effect of the medicine. I'm being sensitive...I was waiting for our handler to reply but she just looked at Sun...with that I understood what they meant...

"I'll do it tomorrow, or as soon as I gather my thoughts."

We were just as busy in the morning till noon , until that moment that I wasn't expecting to happen...Later that night, my phone kept on buzzing from the notifications and tagged posts and tweets.