Confidante

But I can't spell it out for you.

Engfa's POV:

Things went well lately...wait, somehow after unending guestings we have this pageant province to attend so we have to travel from here and there and sometimes we have ongoing workshops so things between us, Charlotte being close to each other. It's our first drama together. Imagine, from being sisters in pageantry we have a series together. In order to break the ice between us the management decided that we both attend some events together.

Since she took care of me one night she knew I was taking meds again. Maybe the stress and you know there are those nights you wonder that someday after your busy and hectic day there is someone who takes care of you and reminds you you did well for today? That's what I somehow remember what I told my therapist about...

"You're an inspiration and loved by many. I see that..and I get you that amidst all of the gifts and people that admire you. You still long for those physical hugs from someone. But are you willing to have it while you're working? Let's face it, You are a rising star now, I mean you're paired up with different people per day you know little moves you make there's looking at you and make a rumor towards it... This might scare you but this is reality Engfa...Will your relationship work amidst your schedules and time management? Or are you willing to set your priorities first as you take care of your health as you are working?"

That question hit me hard. That made me feel quiet and kept my mind hazy whenever I am spaced out...Why being successful and being happy can't be achieved at the same time?

~~~

"Hey, Fa look .." Charlotte snapped me out of my haze. I slowly look at her phone. It's a photo of us taken before the event.

"They took photos so beautifully...Look they said we really look like a couple who are millionaires." I just nodded and smiled because it really look good and beautiful. I am thankful that she's with me and able to take care of me even though Sun is at the back. She stayed by my side whenever I spaced or to remind me to take my medicine.. Or if I am hungry...

~~

"Fa, I told Van to buy the food that we saw along the way while we're sitting. You can eat it."

~~~

"Here's also a drink for us to drink over the program, wherever you get sleepy or thirsty..I was told that medicines sometimes make you feel more thirsty and sleepy...So don't get mad at me if I talk to you at times.Or else Papa will sit with us..."

~~~~

I never expected this feeling would last, things were moving so fast around us lately. I still never got the chance to have personal encounters and talks with you even though we were both together. I just don't want to change how things are going between us.

There is one night before we have this full pledged camping workshop and they decided to give us a week break to prepare and to enjoy. I don't have the energy to go somewhere first. I just want to sleep and stay home. My childhood best friend insisted that I stay in my sister's condo after she stayed over mine.

"What's the difference between my condo and hers?"

"Come'on girl, just like the old times."

The old times... my life is way more different than before, maybe what she's saying is true. As my circle gets bigger I must stick to the people who've really been there for me before till now...I never added more people because since I was exposed to this industry when I was young I see the dark side and I am aware how dirty it must be. I am really thankful for my sister and my best friend who really respects me and knows who I really am and understands who I really am.