Confidante

Am I ... ?

The news spread like a wild fire, I was busy and keeping myself be occupied for the past days so that I wont be able to feel that I miss someone. But one certain night, I tried to really check if it is true. I saw the tweets, clips, some of their what ifs.

WHY AM I HAVING THIS FEELING, I MUST NOT HAVE THIS KIND OF FEELING. We're just each other's confidante but seeing you doing the things we used to do together...only without the cameras...made me feel uneasy...

Unending questions kept running in my head that made me recall

how people asked me...about us....the past days...

"there is a thin line that I can't ever cross..." (author's note: ykiyk)

Staff1: you have feelings for each other right?

Staff2: they're still committed with the organization and the crown. For sure both of them want to have their own careers first before their feelings... Boss even told them about being goal driven rather than personal feelings first...

"So who fell first?"

"Are you girlfriends?"

"Do you like her?"

"Do you miss her?"

"How does it feel when she's not with you as your roommate?"

How will I answer these questions when all my answers are based on our moments we've spent together but we've been distanced for a long time. Wishing you would message me, like we used to but I know you're still on medication that made you feel drowsy whenever you'll be back in the hotel. And P'sun also told me you're easily drained after day out of socializing.

My heart is filled with questions but you're not here to listen,

As I saw you knowing and talking with someone else like we used to.

If you're here with me tonight, will you still see me like we were that night?

Do you ever think of me whenever you're with someone else?

Am I in love with the feeling?

Am I only getting attached cause I missed you?

I was just randomly listening to youtube then why does the songs I listen at this hour explains the way I feel. I absentmindedly shared the songs on my social media as I turned my phone off...

I wouldn't dare to answer, I'm afraid if I'll follow what my heart feels right now...

~~And it drives me insane/ Think I'm hearing your name// everywhere I go/ But it's all in my head/It's just all in my head~~

I must not take my heart over my mind.

I must hold these back, She promised to comeback to me.

Even without the crown.

Right, this is just all in my head.

All in my head...but...

I don't wanna see you  with someone else.