Only Tolerable//Tokio Hotel •Tom Kaulitz•

What Did I Do to Deserve This?

"Ah, Alice!...what's he doing here?" Logan asked, looking at Tom. I rolled my eyes. "He gave me a ride." I said. He shook his head and looked at me. "We've got some talking to do." He said as he let me inside. I looked back at Tom before Logan shut the door and silently pleaded with my eyes, for a way out or something.

Logan then closed the door. I wish none of this was happening. "So, what brings you by?" He asked me. I sighed. "Your money." I said as I held out the envelope. "Wow, I'm surprised you actually got it." He said. "You gave me no choice!" I said getting pissed.

"Tell me Logan, tell me what the fuck I did to deserve this!?" I yelled. "You weren't enough!" He yelled back. I shook my head, I was starting to cry. "I wasn't enough? Christ, all I fucking did was pour my heart out to you. Fucking love with you everything I had and then you-you fucking cheated on me. Two years! Two years Logan, I did nothing but give you my life!" I yelled at him with sadness and anger.

"I cheated on you? What about you. You had to of done someone behind my back!" He yelled. "Christ, what is wrong with you!" I yelled. "Face it, you probably cheated on me with Tom!" He yelled. I got all up in his face, courage fueled by anger taking over me.

"Do not go there. I fucking hate him! Just tell me, tell me why you cheated on me." I said. "You weren't putting out." He said. I smacked him. "You know why!" I said as I smacked him.

"Oh, please, what happened to you in high school, doesn't concern me. At least you've still got your virginity Alice!" He said. I was done. I punched him. I Shouldn't have. Before I knew it, Logan made an advance and started hitting me.

"S-stop!" I said between sobs. "Get off!" Somehow, I managed to crawl away from him. He punched me in the face and my nose was bleeding, a fresh cut on my lip. "Never fucking touch me again!" I said as I punched him again. I quickly turned to the door and ran out of it, slamming the door behind me.

As soon as I got into the hallway, I crumpled to the the floor. I forgot Tom was there. "Jesus Christ, Alice." He said calmly. I'm surprised he wasn't pissed off or sarcastic. I didn't want this to be happening in front of him. I sniffled and stood up slowly, wiping my tears and wiping off what I could of the blood. I avoided looking at him.

"Are you oka-" Tom started. "I'm fine." I snapped. "Ev-everything's fine." I said as my voice broke. I started walking back down the hallway and to Toms car. I reached the car before he did so I had to wait for him to unlock it.

When he did, I silently got in and we drove home in silence. I didn't talk to him when we got him either. Thank god Bill wasn't home. I quietly got out of the car and walked up to the door and waited for Tom to unlock it. When he did, I went up the stairs and walked right into the bathroom and shut the door.

I sluggishly walked over the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. My face fell. I started to fall. I gripped the edge of the counter but it didn't do any good. I crumbled to the floor in to a pathetic mess. I leaned my back against the sink cabinet, brought my knees to my chest and cried into them.

I was loud. I could hear myself crying as the noise of my sobs echoed off the bathroom walls. I shook my head. Everything was falling apart. I was too caught up in my emotional breakdown that I didn't even here the door open. I heard someone clear their throat and I raised my head to see who it was. It was Tom and I looked directly into his eyes as he did mine.

His gaze didn't hold any sarcasm, or hate, they held concern and worry, which I didn't understand. We hate each other.

I shook my head. "This cannot be happening." I laughed as I cried and put my hands on both sides of head. "What do you want?" I asked him. "I...wanted to see if you were okay." He said. I laughed. "Yeah, because Tom Kaulitz just cares about me so fucking much!" I said sarcastically. "You probably came in here to laugh at how pathetic I am, so get it over with." I told him.

I waited for him to laugh but it never came. Instead, I watched as he sat down on the floor across from me, resting his own back against the bathroom wall. "Look, you said yourself in the agreement that we had to try to be nice to each other for Bill's sake, so this is me trying." He said. I nodded.

"Alice." He said. I looked at him. "What?" I asked. "What happened to you in high school?" He questioned. I sighed. "I don't want to talk about it." I told him. He nodded and just sat there. "Can you go? I need to fix my face." I told him. He nodded again and got up.

"Sorry that he did that to you." He said. I was surprised at how caring he was seeming. As he was walking to the door he turned back and looked at me. "After your done, the agreement starts, first things first. Cleaning my room." He said. I laughed.

"Oh, there's the jackass that I know and hate." I said. He closed the door and I started my shower. After my shower and a change of clothes, I went to his room. I hadn't noticed how dirty it was when I was in there earlier.

"Jesus." I said to myself as I started picking up clothes from the floor and seeing if they were clean or dirty. The dirty clothes, got put into the laundry basket that was empty. I shook my head. I had to do everything for Tom, that's what it said in the agreement.

If I didn't keep up my end of the deal, he'd start rumors about me. I made his bed and put his dirty clothes in the washer. After that, I went back up to Tom's room. I knocked and he said come in.

"What?" He asked. I stood there. I didn't know what to say. "Uh, thanks. For the money, just...please don't tell Bill about what happened with Logan...I don't want him to freak out or anything." I said as I sat down in his desk chair. I needed someone.

"What?" He asked. I sighed and leaned forward, putting my head in my hands. "I don't know. I really don't know. Because of everything that happened yesterday, I'm now up to my fucking neck in shit!" I said starting to freak out.

"Like, what am I going to do? If Logan-decides-that-the-money-wasn't-enough-I-" I said as my words flooded together, I wouldn't of gone on further but I was cut off by Tom. He had put his hands on either side of face head. He stared at me.

"Jesus Christ your annoying. Breathe. Your fine." He told me. I started to focus my breathing when the door to his bedroom opened. It was Bill. Tom quickly moved away from me. "Hey?" He asked us both. "Hey." Tom and I answered at the same time. "Please tell me you two aren't hooking up or anything." He asked us.

I laughed. "God no...I was having an anxiety attack and you weren't here." I told him. "Oh, we'll are you okay?" He asked me. I nodded. Bill then disappeared and I rolled my eyes. "That never happened." I said as I got up.

"What never happened?" Tom said. "Exactly." I answered as I walked out of his room. I wanted this shit over with.