Only Tolerable//Tokio Hotel •Tom Kaulitz•

I Haven't Hated You in a Long Time

Bill and Tom immediately started talking to me in German so they could talk to me about Elijah without Elijah hearing. "Das ist er(this is him)?" Bill asked me. I nodded.

"Ich dachte, er würde besser aussehen(I thought he would look better)." Tom said. I shook my head and glared at him. "Hör auf, du Arschloch(stop, you asshole)." I told Tom.

"Erzähl mir später alles(tell me everything later)." Bill said. I nodded. "I'm sorry." I said to Elijah. "Nein du nicht(no your not)." Tom said. I turned around and started yelling at them in German.

"Gott, ihr zwei seid wie verdammte Kleinkinder. Tom, verdammt noch mal, halt die Klappe, du Scheißkerl. Bill, beruhige dich, ich erzähle dir verdammt noch mal alles später(God, you two are like fucking toddlers. Tom, fucking shut up, son of a bitch. Bill, chill, I'll fucking tell you everything later)!" I yelled at them. Tom laughed and Bill apologized, I pushed them both towards the living room.

After I knew they were both in the living room, I turned to Elijah. "I'm sorry." I said. He shook his head. "Uh, don't be. I didn't know you were foreign." He said. I laughed. "Technically I'm not. I was born in Seattle, Washington. I moved to Germany when I was 9 after my dad got a job opportunity. That's where I met those two idiots." I told him, referring to Tom and Bill.

"I'm assuming that based on whatever you guys were talking about in German was an argument based on the tone you used before they left." Elijah said. I nodded. "Tom and Bill are quite the handful sometimes, probably because they're brothers, but as far as I'm concerned, they're the only family I've got." I explained.

"Anyway, what brings you by?" I asked him. He shrugged. "I was on one of my midnight runs and I wanted to see if you were telling the truth. It's not every day a girl gives you an address to a house like this." He said. I nodded. "Well, I did in fact not lie, and this is where I live and do my humanly things." I said.

He laughed. "I'll see you later. See you on Friday." He said, walking back to the street. "Tell Daisy I say hi!" I yelled after him. He turned around and smiled. "Will do!" I then closed the door.

I walked back to the living room, my eyes furrowed. I looked at Bill and Tom. "I'm not going to lie, that was fucking strange." I told them. Bill nodded. "I see what you meant at the store, about it not working. You don't seem interested in him."

"Because I'm not, I thought I was...but I think I like someone else." I told them, glancing at Tom. He was already staring at me. I walked to
The couch and sat between them. "I mean who the hell goes on 'midnight runs' let alone goes to someone's house at midnight, that they just met?" I questioned.

"It was really strange." Tom said from beside me. I nodded. "What are you going to do?" Bill asked me. I shrugged. "Go on the date on Friday and tell him, that it just doesn't work. There's not really a connection or whatever the fuck it is." I told him.

Bill yawned. "I'm sorry it doesn't work, Alice, but I'm going to sleep." He said getting up.We said goodnight and Bill walked out of the living room and up the stairs to his room. Leaving Tom and I. "I don't know what's wrong with me." I told Tom.

I needed someone to talk too, and Tom was there. He looked at me, me looking at him. "What do you mean?" He asked. "I have crappy luck with guys. My boyfriend of two years cheats on me, I meet a guy who actually likes me but I don't like him, and the one person that I think I actually might like, fucking hates me." I told him, shaking my head.

"Who?" Tom asked. Things were happening so fast, but I couldn't keep things in anymore. "I'll be right back." I told him. He nodded and I got up. I quickly ran up the stairs and to my room. I walked over to my window and picked up my sketchbook.

I walked out of my room and ran back down the stairs and to the living room. I sat back down next to Tom, except this time, I sat with my body turned towards him. "This is my sketchbook." I told Tom. He looked at me and nodded. "I know what it is Alice." He said.

"I know...y'know that picture of that dog I said I drew in it?" I asked him."You mean the picture of that dog you said you drew in it after you threw it across your room? Yes I do." He laughed. I smiled. I stopped looking at him and turned my attention towards my sketchbook.

I flipped to the drawing I did of him. I looked back at Tom. He was already staring at me. "I sort of lied. It's not a dog, it's the person who I think I really like." I told him as I slowly turned the drawing around so he could see it.

I watched as he turned his attention to the drawing. He reached out for the sketchbook and I let him take it. All he did was stare at the drawing. "I haven't hated you in a long time, Tom. But I don't understand how you still hate me. I haven't done anything wrong, and if I have, you would of told me. I just-I wanted to let you know how I feel. I was keeping things in for too long and I was lying to everyone and keeping a bunch of secrets. So, there it is. No more lying and no more fucking secrets and feelings suffocating me. I'm-I'm going to sleep." I told him as I got up and started walking to my room.

I think I just made things worse.

***

[Toms pov]

I didn't know Alice liked me. I thought we always fucking hated each other and that we always fucking would.

The bad thing about this though, was that Alice did like me, but Jesus fucking Christ, I loved her. That had to be enough. There was another problem though, Bill.

He always hated the idea of Alice and I somehow some way becoming a thing. But we didn't bring it up that much because we all thought it would never fucking happen, up until now.

I don't know how to tell her I feel more than just liking her. I sat there for a long time, staring at the picture she drew of me. She was killing me. Alice was fucking killing me and I loved her for it.

Truth is, I haven't hated her in a long time too.

(A/N: finally stuff is starting to happen, and once again, sorry if the German isn't correct, I'm still working on it, but I did add English subtitles in italics:) Happy Reading!)