Only Tolerable//Tokio Hotel •Tom Kaulitz•

And so it Ends

It's been a few weeks since I hung out with James. I missed the kid. I don't know why, but Tom had been distant. He and I needed to talk.

I walked through the door that connected our rooms but he wasn't there. I texted Bill and asked if he knew where Tom was. I didn't get answer.  I was just about to go back to my room when I saw the door handle move and the door open. It was Tom, his hair was different.

"You're hair." I said. He nodded. Instead of a hat and dreads, his hair was braided. It wasn't bad, I just, we haven't talked our communicated about anything at all lately.

"...can we talk?" I asked him. He nodded and sat down, so did I. "We haven't spoke to or have hung out with each other in awhile." I said. He nodded. "I needed time to myself." He told me. I nodded. "I don't know, you've just...seemed distant." I said.

"You called me your boyfriend." He said. I looked at him. "We act like a couple and now your saying we aren't?" I questioned. "Alice, we've never had that conversation. I just, I want some time for myself." He said.

I shook my head. "What's wrong? It's like your a different person." I stated. "Bill said it himself, I'm not the type to love just one person." Tom said. I shook my head, tears forming in my eyes.

"You didn't, please fucking tell me you didn't." I really do not need to be cheated on again. "I did not, but I'm afraid something's gonna happen. We need to break up." He said. I looked at him. "Tom, if your so fucking afraid something's gunna happen, why even tell me you love me in the first place? You could of saved me the pain!" I questioned, starting to yell.

I shook my head. Fine, if he wanted to be distant, tell me he needs time to himself, and then say this, I could do one better.

Tears were streaming down my face. "Possibilities of me loving you or you loving me again, are done. Y'know what Tom, fine, if you want some time to your fucking self, then have it." I said as I practically yanked the heart locket he gave me for my birthday off my neck.

I practically threw it at him, I mean I didn't mean to, I just-I was hurting. Everything was fine, until is wasn't.

He looked hurt, but he's the one who was breaking up with me. I blinked and my vision blurred with tears. "I'm glad we're going home tomorrow, cause if you want your space from me, Tom, you can have it. I'm moving out." I said.

Tom looked like he was on the verge of tears. I shook my head. I said I was moving out. That place was my home, I shook my head. I shouldn't of asked Tom for that stupid loan...and now, I was questioning if I should of ever left Germany in the first place.

Tears were streaming down my face. "You know, for a minute there I actually found myself falling in love with you, then you do this." I told him.

I needed to talk to Bill. I walked out of Tom's room and slammed the door. That's when everything really hit me. I was crying hysterically all the way to Bill's room. I didn't even bother knocking.

"Alice?" Bill questioned. "T-Tom and I just broke up." I told him. We sat down and I proceeded to tell him everything, even the part about me moving out.

"I'm gunna kick his ass." Bill said. I shook my head. "There's no point. Yeah, it may hurt like hell, but that's a part of life weather we like it or not. If-if it wasn't meant to be...I guess it wasn't meant to be." I said. I doubted my own words. I love Tom, I do and of course I care about him, but today...things changed.

I don't know what I did, but Tom was acting strange. I couldn't live without him, but he wasn't giving me a choice. Tomorrow we were going back home...I'd have to find a new one.

"Please tell me we'll see each other everyday?" Bill asked. I nodded. "I might end up staying with Georg." I told him. He nodded. Over the years, Georg and I had developed a brother and sister bond, so I was hoping he'd let me stay with him.

I eventually left and went to Georg's room. I gave him the rundown on things and he agreed to letting me stay with him.

I felt crap. I left Georg's room after I thanked him and went to my room. I got a shower and changed into pajamas. I glanced at the door that connected the rooms. I walked over and I locked it.

I got into bed and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I, once again, was alone. I sighed and sat up, grabbing the remote and turning on the tv.

I went to sleep at 3 something in the morning.

I woke up late. If it wasn't for Bill coming into my room and waking me up, I probably would of slept till it was night.

After I got up, I packed up all my shit and made my way to the bus. Fuck. I forgot I had to ride in the bus with Tom. When I got on, I put my stuff in my bunk and sat down at the table.

Eventually the rest of them got on. Bill sat next me, Georg across from me and Gustav across from Bill. When Tom entered I glanced at him and he glanced away. This is how things were going to be.

I sighed and put my head on Bills shoulder. And so it ends. I told myself.

[Tom's pov]

I hated that I was acting this way, I guess I was scared, and it fucking cost me my girlfriend. When I got in the bus I stared at her, she glanced at me and I averted my line of sight anywhere but at her.

Fuck am I stupid. I sat in the back seating area by the bunks, I wanted to be alone. I grabbed my phone and my headphones and turned on some music. I sighed. And so it ends. I told myself.