Only Tolerable//Tokio Hotel •Tom Kaulitz•

Making Amends...Or Trying To

When I woke up, I remembered the events of yesterday. I got up and walked over to the door that connected Tom and I's rooms.

I walked into his room. Surprisingly, he was awake. "I'm surprised your awake." I told him. He shrugged. "I was going to wake you up and see how you were doing, but you were still asleep." He said.

I walked around the table and sat down next to him. "Tom, how long have you been awake?" I asked. "3 hours." He said. The day was still early. "Anyway, how are you?" He asked. "Well, I fixed things with Bill." I explained. "Yeah, he and I are okay now too." Tom told me. I smiled "That's good."

That was one problem fixed. "How are you with the stuff that happened with you parents?" He asked. I shrugged. "They're not great. I don't really see a need for them to be in my life...but I want to get to know my brother, so I'll see if they're still here and I'll see if we can work something out." I told him.

"You're surprisingly calm." He said. "There's no point in getting mad anymore, it doesn't get anyone anywhere." I said. He agreed.

"Did you come to the show last night? I didn't see you." He asked. I nodded. "I'd never miss one of your shows. You guys were good. I just, left before you guys could see me so I could talk to Bill, but then everything happened with my parents and it added to that." I answered.

"I'm really sorry, Alice." He said. I nodded. "I'm going to go get ready for the day, and then I'm going to go see if I can find and talk to my parents."

He said goodbye and that I'd see him later. I walked back to my room and took a shower and got dressed. After that, I went downstairs to ask the front desk id my family was staying here.

She nodded and gave me their room number, telling me that it was one time thing because she didn't want to lose her job, both understandable and respectable.

I went back to the elevator and searched for their room. Eventually I found it and I knocked hesitantly. I waited awhile until it opened. "...Alice, what are you doing here?" My mom asked. I told her we needed to talk.

Maybe someday I can forgive my parents, but right now, that seemed impossible, and I couldn't blame my little brother, it wasn't his fault.

She let me in and I sat down across from her and my dad. "I may not ever forgive you for the shit you've put me through since I left Germany, but I don't know yet, the future is unclear, but I do know that despite the fact of me hating the both of you right now, I want to get to know my little brother. You owe me that much, I don't even know his name." I told them, tears threatening to spill over my eyes.

I glanced at my mom, she was also crying. "Let me discuss this with your dad first." They both got up and walked to the balcony to talk. My brother making his way over to me. "Hey there kid. Do you know who I am?" I asked. He shook his head no. Of course he wouldn't.

Eventually my parents came back. "He come, visit, and stay with you, and your friends during summers." My mom said. I smiled. I'm actually surprised they'd let me have this. "But if anything happens while he's with you, no more visits. So no getting arrested or anything." My dad added. Of course he had to add that.

"What's his name?" I asked them. "His name is James." My dad answered. I nodded. My mom walked over to James and picked him up. "James, this is your big sister, Alice." My mom said.

He smiled. "Alice" he said. I nodded. "Can, can I maybe hangout with him today?" I asked them. My mom nodded and I got up.

James immediately grabbed onto my hand. I gave my mom my number, hoping she wouldn't lose it this time.

We said goodbye and we left. As I shut the door I heard my dad speak to my mom.

"Are sure we did the right thing Carol?" My dad asked my mom. "Honey, we practically ghosted her, she didn't even know she had a brother, she needs this...we need this." My mom said.

I smiled to myself and let the door close. "So, James, what would you like to do?" I asked him. He shrugged. "I don't know." "Well then, we're gonna have to do something about that...you want to meet some new people?" I asked him. He nodded excitedly.

I laughed and led him to the elevator until we got to my room. "Would you like to go to Narnia?" I asked him. He shrugged, telling me he didn't know what Narnia was.

"It's a magical place ruled by a guitar player named Tom." I told him. He nodded excitedly. I knocked and waited. I heard Tom say hat we could come in, so I opened the door and we walked to his room.

Tom smiled at me then looked at James. "Tom, this is my little brother, James. James, this is the guitar player who I said rules Narnia." I told him. Tom laughed.

"This is my boyfriend Tom." I told James. Tom and I actually never had the 'what are we' conversation, but I felt this was appropriate.

"Wanna go meet Tom's twin and the rest of his band?" I asked James. He nodded excitedly. I said bye to Tom and made our way to Bill, Gustav, and Georg's rooms.

They got a long perfectly. James and I had a blast. I took him to get ice cream, telling him not to tell Mom. He pinky swore.

The day soon faded and I had to take James back to Mom and Dad. We got into the elevator and started our way back to their room.

Before I knocked, James asked me a question. "Alice. How come I've never met you before?" I looked at him. I don't know how to tell him. Just because my image of mom and dad was broken, doesn't mean his was too.

"We were all really busy, but I know you now, and I promise I'm gunna be the best big sister a kid like you could ask for." I told him with a smile. He nodded and asked if he could hug me. I smiled bigger and got to his level, his tiny arms giving me a hug.

I then knocked on the door. Dad looked at James then to me. "How did Alice do?" He asked James. James smiled. "She's the best big sister in the whole world. She took me to Narnia." He said. I laughed.

"You did good today." My dad said. I nodded. "I'll see you later James." I told him. He nodded. "Tell Tom, Gustav, Georg, and Bill I'll see them sometime." He said. I laughed. "I'm surprised you remembered their names." I told him.

"Well, when we saw Tom, you said he was your boyfriend, and when you, mommy, and daddy were yelling at each other last night you said they were your family, so I guess that makes them my family too." He said.

I stood there baffled. "It's so much more complicated than that, but you got a good heart, and your extremely smart." I told my brother. My dad nodded. "I think he gets that from your mom." I laughed, I didn't expect to laugh, but this was good, this was us starting or trying to make amends.

(A/N: how do we feel about Alice's "long lost" brother and how do we feel about her parents? I genuinely wanna know )