impermissible (Charles Leclerc)

s e v e n t e e n

"Here." I say, I take the  spoon in front of his mouth as his gaze softens and he takes the spoon into his mouth. "Why haven't you eaten today?" I asked.

"Haven't been hungry, I can feed myself though-" he goes to say but I interrupt him by giving him a sarcastic look. "Fine" he says as he lets out a soft weak laugh.

"Finish this, and I'll go and take your medicine and a glass of water." I told him as I hand him the bowl and he just nods, taking it into his hands.

I get up and walk over to his kitchen, as I'm filling a glass of water I hear footsteps behind me, I turn around and I see Charles walking towards me.

"Hey, is everything okay?" I ask looking at him, he's standing in front of me, his tired eyes never leaving mine.

"Evelyn." He rasps, moving a little bit closer to me "What?" I reply.

"Can you..." he starts, looking down as if he's embarrassed. I realised he was getting shy, my waistline was touching the counter and I have my hands resting on it. "Can you give me a hug?"

My whole body gets chills at his words, only a hug does this to me "Do you ask Pierre for hugs when you're sick?"

His eyes remain at the floor, "I would love to give you a hug." I say giving him a small smile, he immediately looks at me and I wrap my hands around his neck. I tiptoe a little because he's taller than me and he wraps his hands around my waist, he's hugging me really tightly.

"Why are you here Ev?" He asks, his chin rested on my head as he speaks, I can feel the vibration of his voice come from his chest.

"Was worried about you, when you didn't show up at the party." I told him truthfully, for some reason he's still my first thought in every place I go.

He sighed "I don't think your boyfriend would like this.." I laughed a little, "Who exactly is my boyfriend then?" I questioned him, he sighed "Lewis, you went to the event and you announced it." He told me calmly, I looked up at him.

I shook my head admitting "We aren't together.. he was the only guy that would go with me." Before I even realise what is happening, he picks me up and sets me on the counter, still hugging me.

He buries himself into my neck crook and I touch his hair, stroking and caressing his hair in my hands "You need to rest, I need to get back to Leonora's party." I say quietly and he shakes his head "What are you-" I go to say but he interrupts me.

"Sh," and once again he picks me up and we're moving towards his bedroom, his hands on my waist as I have my legs around his as I'm carried. He lays us on the bed and my heart beat has gone crazy, I love his touch, I already love his touch.

His hands are still wrapped around my waist, and he's driving circles across my back. I go to move a few minutes later thinking he's fallen asleep but his hands don't leave my waist "Please don't leave." He says, his eyes closed and his voice gentle.

"I feel so much better when your around." He says and and he continues to make my heart beat faster. I sit upright "This isn't right is it?" I asked to which he mumbled nonsense in response.

My dress was mid thigh, I pulled it down as I spoke again, I looked at his face his eyes still closed  "I wanted to talk to you.. about Fred Vassuer."

His eyes shot open  immediately, his grip on me tightened "What has he said?" I sighed looking over his features, his face hovering close to mine.

"He um... he wants me to join ferrari next season, instead of Carlos Sainz." I told him in a whisper, afraid if I said it too loud it might feel real.

Charles whispered, his voice husky from sickness "Well what did you say? Are you joining?"

I replied "I don't have any choice, he's blackmailed me, said he's gonna tell my dad about the racing I've been doing and he's going to tell Chanel I've violated the contract."

Charles put his hand against my cheek "I- fuck I'm so sorry I didn't think he'd do that, I told him Ev I told him you beat everyone in the kart race I didn't know he'd do this to you."

"I told everyone not to tell anyone Charles." I crossed my arms, his voice was raspy and sounded sincere but I wasn't sure if it was just because he was ill.

He sighed "I wanted you to have an opportunity to race like you wanted, I thought he'd offer you a seat but I didn't realise the extent to which he would fucking blackmail you into it- shit im so sorry."

I shook my head "You had good intentions," I sighed "Isa is going to kill me for taking Carlos' seat and my dad is doing to murder me for the betrayal but otherwise it's okay."

"It's not okay Ev." He told me truthfully, coughing into his elbow as he said so.

I shrugged "I've negotiated being an anonymous driver but I don't know how long I'll be able to keep that up."

He looked in my eyes and rasped "I don't  even know what to say." He moved his hand from my cheek to my knee, holding me reassuringly.

"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted to know if it was you who told him about my racing," I paused getting up from his bed "I need to go back to the party, you have water in the kitchen, pills on the side."

He simply held onto my arm, "Lay with me for five more minutes, I won't ask for anything else ever again. Just stay with me."

I lay on his chest whilst he was fast asleep, I knew I should leave, but why would I? This may be the last time he ever holds me in his arms.