6/12/23
This is kind of weird. I don't know I remember writing these and crying and then rereading them and crying even more. I was broken before her but she absolutely shattered me into a billion pieces that took months to put back together. She made me feel like I was nothing, like I wasn't important, like I had no right to breathe ever again, like I didn't deserve to live. I'm not saying that I didn't make mistakes but she absolutely destroyed me. I didn't realize how unhappy I was until all of a sudden after months without her, I finally felt the weight lift off my shoulders and I could finally breathe again.
That person wasn't my only problem and I didn't realize that until after her either. My family, my anxiety, my fear of being left, and mostly my dad was another problem. I was so scared that she would leave me without a care in the world just like everyone else that I continued to push her away and then she did leave and she said awful things that someone shouldn't have even been capable of saying to someone they "loved". She never loved me but I was completely in love and I still am it just doesn't hurt as much as it use to. I can think about her without wanting to cry, I can go places without worrying that I might see something that would remind me of her, I can listen to music without relating it back to her.
I don't regret you, I just miss you but I'd never let you come back. You were always too good for me anyways. My only mistake was letting you say forever, when I knew it was always going to be over. I let you convince me that we would be forever, but deep down I knew we were on limited time. No one can say forever because you never know what could happen, it's a promise that no one can keep, so no one should make it. Eventually, forever is over.
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7/11/23
It's been a couple months since I wrote that, and we got back together and it's better than it was before because we both worked on ourselves in that time apart. It's still not perfect and it's not going to be. Even though, we're back together it doesn't mean she still didn't hurt me so I'm still going to post these because I still want others to read it and they are not all about her.
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7/25/23
i lied it's just as bad but i'm gonna keep talking to her anyways.
YOU ARE READING
Forever & Over
PoetryI wrote most of these when I was in a really dark time in my life it felt like I was drowning and sinking but now I finally learned how to float and breathe again. When I look back at these mistakes and this undescribable pain, I like to still wri...
