𝚂𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 ✔

Chapter Twenty-Seven

The morning before we were to set off on our four-day trip to the summer palace, Cordelia helped me make sure everything was packed and ready to go.

Since after we depart, we will not be returning to the spring palace for the remainder of The Courting.

Thomas had left without so much of a goodbye, as did the rest of his family. But I did not fault him for it, because their departure needed to have been kept a secret. Each leaving in separate carriages at a different time to avoid any chances of them being robbed of their valuables, or even their lives.

I suppose he could have left me a letter, like Henry had, but I was sure he had been far too busy to do as such.

By lunch, Cordelia and I were both surprised by a knock on the apartment door. We weren't expecting any visitor, nor had I wanted to receive any either.

"I'll get it." I waved for Cordelia to stay seated, "You've done more than enough for me today, so relax a bit."

"As you wish." She did as instructed, though I could tell she was uncomfortable with me doing her job for her.

I knew I had been causing her to worry about my health every single day since we had arrived, a little over a month ago, and even more so since I had started having my attacks. In her mind, her duty was to assist me with any and everything, which included keeping me healthy as well. It was not her fault that I had all but lost most of the confidence I had in myself, as well as the ability to manage my nerves. It was mine.

But despite how much I knew she wanted to protest my choice of remaining and express her concern with my deteriorating mental state, she kept quiet.

She did not even bombard me with questions when she found me, for the first time, hyperventilating on the floor, drenched in sweat and muttering nonsense. She just held me for a bit, then after I had calmed down, she bathed me and put me to bed.

Her silence had started to eat away at me as each day passed, making me feel worse than when she outwardly disapproved. Yet despite her disapproval, she stood by me and did what she could to keep me from completely unraveling.

I had honestly been doing much better. The attacks still came and went, but I did not feel as shattered as I had in the beginning. Perhaps it was the silent comforts from Cordelia or the talk with Corinna that eased my nerves, either way I was thankful for both of them. One for holding me up when I could not stand and the other for listening when I could not speak.

Another knock rang through the receiving room, "I am coming, one moment." I replied as I made my way to the door, wondering who it could have been.

I opened the door with a smile on my face, "I apologize for taking so long to-"

"Doing the job of your maid now, are we?" Mother rolled her icy blue eyes, then glared, "Move child, I have been standing out here for long enough."

I silently stepped to the side so that she could pass. My head swam as I tried to grasp the last few shreds of sanity I had left. I wanted it to have been a trick of the mind, that she had not really been there, but I knew it was all too real.

I couldn't shut the door, my body had gone stiff, and my throat had tightened to the point it felt as if I were actually being choked. My left hand had started to tremble, while my tongue felt sweaty.

"Why?" I blankly muttered.

"Did you say something?" Mother's voice alone made my skin feel as if someone had raked their nails down it. "Either speak loud enough to be heard or say nothing at all."

"W-what has broug-"

She cut me off before I could finish, "Why are you still foolishly standing there? Shut the door, or are you only capable of opening it?"