𝚂𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 ✔

Chapter Thirty-Seven

"Which dress would you like to wear to the ball tomorrow?" Cordelia gently brushed my hair as I soaked in the warm lavender infused water. "We still have not inspected the new ones sent by your mother."

I blankly stared at the bathwater, hearing everything she had said to me with no issue, yet had no real want to reply.

"I say we save the most awe-striking one for the Prince's birthday Galla." She continued on, ignoring the fact that I had not contributed to the conversation at all since it had begun.

Something had been bothering me, consuming every thought of my own since the meeting with the queen. Things she had said had not added up and only confused me farther.

What was stopping her from just simply declaring me the winner if I had been her choice? This question was one I wanted to ask her during the conversation but decided to keep to myself. And if both she and Thomas were in agreement, then why had the competition continued on? Surely the politics that played a large part in the Courting were nearing their end anyway, so then what exactly stayed their hands?

That was, unless one of them had been lying to me. Though, which one I was completely unsure. They both exuded sincerity as well as felt insincere at times. And despite their fickle nature and similar proclamations, deep down in me simmered an unsettling feeling that screamed something was amiss. Out of everything that could have been wrong between them as mother and son, a lack of communication was not it. Not with how involved she had been in his life.

They both had to have known what each other wanted, so which one had it been?

Was the queen testing me? Had she told the others the same thing to see how they would react? Or had Thomas lied to me as part of his own little game?

All of it was driving me mad, as well as exhausting me to the point of collapse.

"Pale green." I muttered, finally pulling myself out of my own thoughts. "With the darker green appliques."

"Oh!" Cordelia stopped brushing, "Yes, I agree. We can pair it with the jade jewels your mother sent."

"Then, shall we retire for the night?" I hollowly tilted my head back so that I could see her. "I am exhausted."

"I shall fetch you a towel then." She smiled weakly; a twinkle of sorrow was visible in her warm brown eyes.

She did her best to try and cheer me up, to distract me, but too much had happened, and was going to happen, for me to have been able to smile again, let alone focus, for a while.

Quickly she helped me out of the bath, dried me off, then slipped me into one of my silky nightgowns. It was getting easier, allowing her to touch me, but there were times where I'd still flinch. Though, she was my maid, one who had been there for me since I was a child and someone I had complete trust in. The same could not have been said for Thomas, or literally anyone else.

After I was tucked into bed and all but one candle was blown out, she retired to her room, leaving me alone.

The new apartment I had been assigned seemed to have been slightly larger than the previous. Though, I had not had the time to completely inspect the place, but I also had not cared enough to either.

All the excitement and innocence I had once been filled to the brim with, had been drained out of me. Nothing really felt magical anymore, not after being slapped with the harsh realities of the world over and over in such a short span of time.

How could I return to the person I once was, when she felt so strange and distant from who I had become?

Though, perhaps that had been for the better. For the old me was far too weak to have survived the trials to come.