𝚂𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 ✔

Chapter Twenty

Later that evening I had Cordelia draw me a bath to which I soaked in much longer than usual. My alone time had been cut short by Thomas, no matter how wonderfully so, and I still needed a moment to myself to breathe.

Doubt always found me when I was alone. That despite all the good things that had happened in the past few days, I still found myself wondering if I should just listen to my parents and leave before too many girls had been sent before me, or before my feelings had started to solidify.

In truth I was scared of what my mother was capable of. Of what she would have done once she had realized I had no intention on giving up my shot at becoming a princess. That I had betrayed their trust the moment I stepped foot out of the cage they had kept me in for nineteen years.

All the confidence I pretended to have, all the lies I kept feeding myself wore thinner and thinner the longer I stayed in the competition.

In truth, at times, I honestly thought Thomas deserved better than me. That he deserved someone like Georgiana, Rheda or even Castellana. Girls who exuded real confidence and regality, that not only looked the part but had the knowledge and will to be the partner of a royal. To be a royal.

I was nothing better than a peasant. For despite my noble blood, I never really felt noble.

I hardly knew anything about being a princess, or how to offer advice that could possibly cause the Kingdom to come crashing down around us. I had just gotten lucky that I had said the right thing the other day in court. Like many other times before that and sooner or later that luck was going to run out and I was going to end up making a mistake that cost me everything.

But, for all of those doubts, I still wanted for more. I still believed, naively at best, that I deserved to be more than just somebody's abused and unwanted daughter. That one day all the pain, blood and tears would have been worth it, and I would have finally secured the love that I had been longing to receive.

. . .

The next two days came and went, but oddly enough both had been partially spent with Thomas. Something I had not even thought would have happened.

Each time I went out to the gardens to be alone, he sat there as if he had been waiting for me. Though I dared not ask whether that had been the case or not. Instead, I accepted his presence in hopes it would have helped me in my quest to grow fonder of him.

However, those little voices often whispered about in my ears, questioning why he had been there, and how long until he grew bored.

"How was your day today?" He asked, propped up on the lip of the fountain, like before, as he fiddled with something in his hand.

"Rather boring, I must admit." I made my way over to take a seat next to him like I had done the day before. "Tell me of yours instead?"

His face shifted, jaw became more tense as he sat there silently for a moment before he once again softened and shot me a small smile. "I have something for you." He completely disregarded my question.

I glanced down at his hand, wondering if his gift was what he had been focused on when I had arrived. I had not expected a gift, nor had I really wanted one. Just the time well spent was enough for me, but it was rude not to accept the blessings of others.

"You surprise me, My Prince." I honestly did not know what to say, the only gifts I had ever received were the free dresses that Mrs. Lattesworth had sent me, so I had started to feel overwhelmed.

"Why is that?" I saw something start to grow in his blue eyes that caused the hair on my neck to stand. "Did you think me to be not of the generous kind?"