Bloodstream

Chapter 43

Lauren's POV
I sat on the couch with my laptop on my lap, I logged into Skype hoping Camila would be online but she wasn't. It's been a month since I've been back in New York and I've been way too busy. I told Camila I would try to get time to be able to talk to her but my schedule got in the way leaving me with little to no free time. Today I was able to stay home for the day but Camila wouldn't answer any calls or texts and I was a bit worried.
My door swung open and a disconcerted Taylor walked in with a expensive looking dress in one hand, his hair was a bit messed up but he had a suit on which made me a bit confused and I totally forgot what I was thinking about.
"You okay there, babe?" I asked and he laughed loudly and shook his head, he widened his eyes and walked up to me putting the dress down gently on one of my arm chairs.
"We're going out, get up." He said coldly and I put my laptop aside and grabbed his arms rubbing them up and down to try to calm him down.
"Tay what happened?" I asked concerned. He took a few step backs and fell onto the couch; he put his hands over his face before sliding them into his hair.
"2 years, fucking bastard has been cheating on me. I just found out he has someone back home." He chuckled and his arms dropped to his sides.
"Oh wow." I said rubbing my arm awkwardly.
"I invested so much trying to make my relationship work with him; I even had him move out here. I paid everything and he just stayed with me because I had some sort of chance of being 'famous'" He looked down and I looked down as well not knowing what to say.
"Get dressed, we're going out I need some drinks." He got up and rushed towards a nearby mirror slightly fixing his hair. I agreed to going out with him tonight, he was a mess and I wanted to look out for him. I got dressed and did my hair and makeup.
"You ready?" He asked and I stepped out of my bathroom and put on some heels.
"Yes." He smiled and led me out the door.
Camila's POV
Crying yourself to sleep every night isn't the ideal way of dealing with a relationship that in my mind seemed to be perfect. Ever since Lauren left I haven't gotten to talk to her much, it's been a month now and things have just gotten way too hard for me. As much as a part of me wants to be able to understand everything that's happening with Lauren and that at the end of the day it will all be okay another part of me just can't take it anymore, this is too much for me and I can't handle it. I need her with me here right now; I need to feel her touch, her lips, the way she holds me. I need to hear her voice, her laugh. I need all of her with me right now. And I can't have her.
I rolled in my bed trying to get some sleep; I groaned and sat up on my bed wiping tears away from my cheeks. I picked my phone up and called the first person that came to mind.
It rung a couple times before I finally got an answer.
"What is your problem? It's 2 in the morning I'm trying to sleep." Mary said in an annoyed tone. I sniffled and tried to hold back my tears, remembering how I would call Lauren at this time and she'd come to me in a heartbeat.
"Wait? Are you crying?" She asked and I let out a small sob.
"Oh my god."
"Come over." I made out and I heard her sigh.
"Fine, if I get robbed it's your fault." She said to try to lighten my mood which she did, she always did. I smiled and she hung up.
Shortly after I heard her knock on my door, I let her in and she pouted as soon as she saw my face.
"Come here cry baby." She pulled me into a hug and I buried my face into her neck.
"I can't do this anymore." I mumbled against her skin and she pushed me away grasping my shoulders.
"Do what?" She asked and I looked down.
"Lauren, I can't handle it anymore." I walked away from her and she shifted awkwardly and walked towards my couch sitting on it.
"1 month, I can't have a proper conversation with her. I can't see her, I'm done." I said and she shook her head.
"No you're not." She said and I chuckled through my tears.
"What's the point of being in a relationship with someone you can't even be around. Trust me I love her so fucking much but I can't handle this distance. I can't do this." I said through sobs and she got up walking towards me.
"You're being selfish." She said and I groaned.
"I don't care! I can't be with someone I can't touch." I looked down and rubbed my eyes. I felt her grab my shoulders and lead me to the couch.
"Sit." Mary said and I did.
"Okay, tell me the last time Lauren called you." She said and I let out a breath calming myself.
"She's called me a few times today but I haven't answered." I said honestly and she huffed.
"Why the fuck not?" She asked and I put my hands in my hair.
"Because if I do she's just going to say something to make me fall more in love with her than I am and she'll just make this way harder for me." I said and she rubbed my back.
"Just breathe." She said and I closed my eyes calming myself down. I stayed silent and slowly glanced up at Mary who gave me a sweet smile.
I don't know what got into me but I wanted to feel some sort of affection right now, I needed it. I leaned in pressing my lips on Mary's but she pushed away quickly and stood up.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She asked wiping her mouth.
"Oh god." I squeezed my eyes shut and I put my hands over my face.
"Are you serious right now? Get your shit together Camila. This is ridiculous, if you can't take your relationship anymore fucking talk to her about it. Don't go trying to make mistakes you know you will regret right after. What the fuck are you going to win by kissing me? That's just... No. I'm going to go, call me when you fix your shit up. Don't drag me into this."
Mary walked out of my apartment slamming my door shut. I stayed silent and laid back on my couch. I knew what I had to do and I knew it was going to hurt but it was for the best; not only for me but also for her. I stood up and walked towards my room and got my phone I sat on my bed and made the call.
"Camz, I've been trying to reach you all day but you won't answer." She said answering right away.
"Did I wake you up?" I asked trying to hide the fact I was crying.
"No, I just got home, I was putting Taylor to bed, he's wasted. Are you okay? You sound like you've been crying." She said and I sighed.
"Can you sit down?" I said softly.
"Um yeah? I'm sitting." She said and I took a deep breath.
"I can't do this, Lauren." I said quickly.
"What do you mean?" I heard her say in a small voice that broke my heart.
"This, what we have. I can't do it anymore." I croaked out as tears filled my eyes.
"What are you talking about? Camz, we're okay." She said softly and I let out a sob.
"I can't stand you being so far away anymore, I can't take the distance. I thought I could handle it but I can't." I breathed out and I heard her voice crack a bit before she started to speak.
"Camz don't do this." She said in a shaky tone.
"I'm sorry Lauren. I love you but I can't do this." I said once more and I heard a muffled sob that only made me want to cry out.
"But we were fine. Baby please don't do this, we love each other." She said choking back tears and I shook my head.
"Laur, we're the perfect couple, okay?" I said and I heard a sob but I shook my head ignoring it.
"Don't cry... Lauren don't cry."
"No." She breathed out.
"We're just not in the perfect situation." I said and bit down on my bottom lip.
"We'll always be the perfect couple and I will always love you. You'll always be the best thing that's ever happened to me. You'll always be the one to have my heart and I don't want you to forget that."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"I love you so much." She said in between sobs and I couldn't help but breakdown.
"Lauren I can't, I can't take you crying I can't keep talking to you right now." I said and she said something I couldn't make out.
"I'm sorry; it's just the best for both of us right now." I swallowed hard and took a deep breath.
"Camila." She said and I clenched my fists.
"Lauren." I said and there was a long pause.
"Okay." She said calmly.
"It's the best for both of us, right?" She said once more.
"Yes."
"I can't really um I uh." She let out a shaky breath and there was another pause.
"Lauren?" I heard her clear her throat.
"Remember I'll always love you. You'll always be the one for me and I will never love anyone else as much I love you. Bye Camila." She said before the line went dead.