Bloodstream

Chapter 48

Lauren's POV
"Tell me again why we have to go? The games on today." Logan said zipping up his hoodie and grabbing his keys.
"First of all, you don't watch sports so cut the bullshit. Second of all, it's my treat so enjoy the free fucking dinner and finally I don't really want to be alone with Camila so you two better not ditch me like last time." I fixed my hair quickly in the mirror.
"Last time?" Emma asked coming by me and fixing her makeup.
"Yeah, remember the first time we all went out for pizza? And you two left to another booth." Logan giggled and nodded.
"I remember, you two were practically eye fucking each other and I was uncomfortable." He said putting on a beanie and opening the door going to the hall.
"We're going there again?" Emma asked and I nodded.
"It's like starting over, you know? With Camila and our friendship or whatever." I heard Emma laugh and I gave her a glare.
"Friendship, what do you mean? Are you two not..."
I grabbed them both taking them back into Logan's apartment. I shut the door and leaned on it.
"Okay, here's the thing. As much as I'd love to be with Camila I can't give her what she wants. I got calls from New York telling me that it's okay if I don't want to be on the label but they'd love to host some events for me, meaning I'd go to New York to perform then come back home. But I also got a call from San Francisco and Vegas. My name got out there and I'm getting booked in lots of places and I won't be able to stay put." I sighed and took a deep breath.
"Camila wants something stable, someone who could be with her most of the time, someone who's there for her when she calls them at 2am saying she's cold and they'd be able to go over and keep her company. Someone who can go into her work once in a while and help her out there, someone that's not me, because I'm not going to be able to do that and I sure as hell won't go into a relationship knowing it's gonna end up being broken because of distance." Logan looked down and put his hands in his pockets.
"Does she know this?"
"No, she's someone I'd love to have in my life and if I can have her as a friend I'm totally down for that. I love her with all my heart and I really wish things could've worked out because I saw her there for the long run. I've never been a big fan of marriage, and I really saw myself buying an engagement ring later on. It kills me to know I won't be able to do that and it also kills me that someone else is going to be able to see her in the ways I have. But she knows that no one ever will see her that way the way I do. No one will love her as much as I did. I'll tell her about it soon." I felt myself start to tear up so I shook my head and swallowed the lump in my throat.
"I'm hungry, let's go." I opened the door again and stepped over to knock on Camila's door.
"Can we go in your truck? Emma and I have been dying to ride in the back but Rick would never let us." He said shyly and I let a light chuckle and nodded.
"Of course, kiddies." I knocked on her door and heard laughter coming from the inside. I took a deep breath and backed away from the door a bit, going next to Logan. The door opened and Camila stepped out smiling. I felt my heart skip a beat once I saw her. Mary came out after her and we all stood there in silence, awkward. Camila stood next to me and I looked at Emma who was looking at me funny, I then saw Mary and Camila exchange a glance at each other. Logan cleared his throat and I unconsciously placed my hand on Camila's lower back.
"We're going to eat pizza, hope that's okay with you two." I said and Camila nodded.
"Totally fine." Mary winked and I let out a breath. Logan and Emma walked in front of us with Mary trailing behind. I saw her text something and she looked back at us.
"I didn't want to feel like the third wheel, ya know? Being with two couples and stuff so I kinda invited this guy." I choked and Camila laughed.
"Just one couple and three friends." I said and Camila nodded.
"Yup, friends." She smiled up at me and I wrapped my arm fully around her and pulled her into a side hug, she rest her head on the side of my shoulder and we walked down to my truck.
"How the hell is this going to work?" Mary asked watching Logan jump in the back then helping Emma on. I pointed to Logan and she laughed.
"Are you serious?" She asked when I opened the door for Camila to get on the passenger's seat.
"Yup." I helped Camila up and then closed the door.
"Mary!" I saw Tommy running over to us.
"Normani is going to kill you." I said going to the driver's seat she shrugged.
"We're just friends, chill." She said and Tommy kissed her cheek once he got to us. They got in the back and I finally got in and started the truck.
"We should go out, both of us alone sometime." Camila said and I nodded.
"Yeah that would be nice, I have some stuff to tell you." I said starting to drive.
"Good or bad?" She asked turning to face me.
"Put your seat belt on, my god." I reached over by her grabbing the seat belt. She smirked and moved a bit letting me clip it on. I was then reaching over to put my hand on the steering wheel but she grabbed it. I looked over as she slowly interlocked our fingers and set my hand between us, with her other hand she played with my ring. I looked down out are hands but I didn't pull away; I didn't want to so I smiled quickly and gave her hand a squeeze reassuring her that it was okay. I then looked back at the road.
"That's a really nice ring, where did you get it?" She asked now tracing small circles on my hand with her thumb.
"Oh this girl." I shrugged and she giggled.
"What girl?"
"Really cute brunette, with a killer smile, really beautiful brown eyes." I said with a smile but I kept my eyes on the road. I could feel her stare burning into the side of my face.
"She sounds hot." She said and I laughed.
"She's weird though, she's cute, adorable, beautiful, sexy, everything." She giggled and I looked over at her seeing she was looking down and blushing. I bit my lip and looked back at the road.
"You're cute." She said now rubbing my forearm. I felt a slight shiver go up my arm. I licked my lips and stopped at a red light and turned to face her. She grinned and I smiled at her.
"You're cute too." She scoot closer to me inching her face closer to mine, she placed a soft kiss near the corner of my mouth making me freeze as the spot she was lingering on started to feel as if it was burning. She then pulled away slowly looking down. There was a banging on the glass behind us, I turned quickly and saw Logan pointing at the traffic light that had turned green.
"Oh right." I gave him a small smile and took off again. The rest of the ride to the pizza place was silent. Camila and I were still holding hands; we'd occasionally glance over at each other and smile. But no words were spoken, they weren't really necessary.
"Isn't this the pizza place we came to when we first went out?" She asked and I nodded and turned off the truck.
"Yup, stay there." I got out and ran over to Camila's side opening the door for her.
"You're so sweet, thank you." I extended my hand out and she grabbed it jumping out of the van. She didn't land well making her fall over but I caught her and pulled her close to me.
"You okay?" I asked and she straightened herself out and placed her hands on my shoulders.
"Yes, that was supposed to happen." She winked and I laughed closing the door.
"Oh shit." Tommy said getting off the truck and helping Mary.
"What?" I asked.
"Doesn't Dianna work here?" He asked and I nodded.
"Yeah, so?"
"I hooked up with her sister a while back and I don't think Dianna likes me very much." He rubbed his neck and I laughed.
"I went out with Dianna, I think you're okay." I started to walk towards the pizza place Logan and Emma following close behind. Mary making Tommy give her a piggy back ride. I felt arms wrap around my arm hugging it. I turned and saw Camila, I kissed her temple and we stepped inside.
We got a booth in the far back, Camila sitting next to me, Logan and Emma across from us and Mary next to Emma and finally Tommy next to me. We ordered and then small side conversations started. Emma and Logan were talking about wedding plans while Mary was talking about so movie with Tommy; leaving Camila and I in silence.
"I saw your shop was on the paper." I turned to her and she nodded eagerly.
"Yes, it was really exciting. I wish you could've been here." She pouted and I slowly turned all the way to face her, resting my back on Tommy.
"What did you want to talk about?"
"I think it's better if we talk alone." I replied playing with my fingers.
"I can't wait so can we do it after this?" She asked and sucked on her bottom lip.
"Hey Lauren, are you going to be here for the wedding?" Logan asked and my eyes widened.
"Of course she is, dummy." Emma said and his mouth went to an o shape. I turned back to Camila who had a confused expression on her face. Luckily the pizza arrived and we were all too hungry to even talk to each other so we concentrated on our pizza. After we were done we paid and we got off the booth.
"What's this?" Camila said reaching into my back pocket and taking out a small case, I kept my cigarettes in there. I sighed and took the case out of her hands.
"Um contact lenses." I lied and she laughed and took the case out of my hands and opened it.
"Well hello there friend." She said taking out a cigarette and I looked down.
"Camz just give it back." I extended my hand out and she shook her head.
"No, stop smoking. It's not good for you."
"Give me the case back, please." I said keeping calm and she sighed and handed me the case back.
"The cigarette too." She rolled her eyes and handed it back.
"Thank you." I put it back in my back pocket and we started to walk out of the pizza place.
"You're going to get weak if you keep smoking, lose stamina and strength and stuff." She said and I turned to her and crossed my arms.
"Get on." I pointed to my back and she smirked.
"That won't prove anything." She stepped closer to me and I nodded.
"Okay." I closed the space between us and picked her up throwing her over my shoulder. She yelped and started to laugh. I smacked her but and she squeaked.
"Am I still weak?" I asked while moving towards my truck.
"Yes you are." She said in between giggles and I put her down once I reach the truck. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I placed mine on her waist pressing her up against the truck.
"You're breathing is weird, you got tired." She said resting her had back on the door of the truck.
"I don't think it's because of that." I said looking into her eyes. In this moment all I wanted to do was kiss her, but I can't do that knowing that I wasn't able to do this. I swallowed hard and I rested my forehead on hers and closed my eyes to calm my breathing.
"I'm still in love with you, Lauren." She whispered her breath hitting my lips. I squeezed my eyes and felt the lump in my throat coming back.
"I wish had never ended things with you. Trying to get over you is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do but I've finally come to the conclusion that I don't want to get over you." Her words were hitting me hard, like little blades being forced into my chest. I swallowed hard and took in a deep breath as I pulled away. I opened my eyes and looked at her. I moved my hands to her face cupping her cheeks. I kissed her forehead softly, then down to the bridge of her nose.
"I'll always love you." I said and placed a kiss on the tip of her nose and moved my hands down to her waist, I wrapped my arms around her waist and she pulled my closer to her nuzzling my neck. I held her closely and I fought hard to not spill the tears that flooded my eyes. I let out a shaky breath and she pulled me impossibly close to her. I started to rub her back and she started to pull away, her eyes glassy.
I ran my thumb across her cheekbone and kissed it. I swallowed hard and backed away slowly, the pain in my chest getting more unbearable. I opened the door for her and she got on, I then closed the door and turned seeing she was wiping her cheeks. I looked down and a tear streamed down my face.
"Fuck." I breathed out wiping my face, and then I got in truck.
I drove back home as fast I could, dropping Tommy off then Mary. Finally Logan and Emma, Camila stayed for a bit.
"Can we talk?" She asked in soft voice.
"I'll take you somewhere, but I'll be back to pick you up."
"Do I have to bring anything?" She asked.
"No, um just wait here. I'll be back." I said and she nodded getting out of the truck.