Strings Of Love

Chapter - 4 : Her...

Yamini's pov:

"Life is unpredictable" I don't know who said this but they said it correctly. Do you want to know, why? Let me tell you my story.

I am Yamini Srinivas, currently pursuing Masters degree in ABC college. Only to avoid marriage I am doing my masters. After I completed my undergraduate degree, my parents tried to get me married to my Ravi mama but at that time Mama was not ready to get married. That's why, I applied for my pg.

Do you want to know how I know this? When I was in my final semester of UG, we attended one of the family functions. There mama told this to one of our cousins, I overheard it. Don't get me wrong, I eavesdropped him. Ok.. will clear you, I am an attentive girl to everyone until my mama comes into the picture. If he's there my all senses will focus only on him.

Ravi mama is my first crush and my first love. I have been in love with him since I got to know the real meaning of love. At the age of 15, when all my cousins were bullying me, he stood for me and gave a good lecture to everyone. Till that I liked him as my cousin, after that it slowly transferred into crush and as years passed by, it became love. Now I am in love with him so much. If you ask me how much, I can't measure it because I love him that much.

Sadly, he doesn't know about my love. I haven't confessed yet though I have been in love with him for the past 7 years.

One time I tried to propose him but the mere thoughts of him rejecting me doesn't give me enough strength. After that I never got the opportunity. He became busy in his work and I love him silently from far. Whatever he does I love it, whatever he talks I love to listen, ahh.. I don't know how to describe the feelings.

Whenever he comes around, my heart beats like drums, an unknown smile dance on my lips. When he asks me how I am doing or the nod he gives me with a smile, oh god hundreds of butterflies will start flying in my stomach.

Many times I tried to ask how are you doing and how's your work going but I couldn't open my mouth at all. I can't stop my smile on my face as well that's why whenever he's around me I look down to not get caught but my ears will always hear him what he says even small small things I won't miss.

I would stand far from him or behind him to watch him alone. Sometimes he would be aware of my gaze, at that time when he sees me I will just turn around or do something stupidly.

I thought no one will know about me but one of my cousin Drithi caught me and interrogated. Without other option, I told her my feelings on Ravi mama. She was very happy with that and encouraged me to confess it but my insecurities are not helping me that much. She tried to tell him about my feelings but I stopped her saying I wanted to confess to him. Till this time she supports me and didn't share about my one side love to anyone. I am really grateful to her.

Few years ago, we all went to beach after meeting at a family function. Since elders did not come with us, everyone planned to play in the water and they did, except me because I am afraid of water. As much as I love the beach and love to play with water , I am afraid of waves. What if it pulls me inside? What would happen to my dream of marrying mama? I can't take up the risk right? So, I was waiting for them on the shore guarding their dresses and bags.

But Drithi pulled me to the water assuring many things, I reluctantly went. Mama is not aware of me, since he's playing with others enthusiastically.

Drithi tried to act as a cupid and pushed me to Ravi mama but he moved and I fell in the water and waves pulled me inside. Before it pulled deeply, mama rescued me and scolded me and Drithi badly.

Do you think what's special in this? I saw his care that day for me. I was overwhelmed and clinging to him until we returned to our place. He didn't shove off me. He too held me securely. When I was shivering, he gave his spare shirt to me and he stayed in his wet clothes. I still have his shirt. Whenever I miss him most, I wear it without anyone's notice in my house.

Apart from Drithi, a few members in my college knows my one side love. Well it's all because of the game truth or dare which I played with my friends. I got caught with them.

My unrequited love...My Ravi Mama... I can do anything for him and for his happiness.

My happy little world was crashed down when mama said he didn't want to marry me because I am not looking good. When did mama started give preference to looks? Or Am I looking that ugly to not deserve him?

After hearing him, I was hurt..no..hurt is a small word. How to describe the feeling? Did you ever been in to the accident? Near to death? It gives the same feeling. I was alive but my heart died the moment mama rejected me. I was devastated. I cried... cried.. cried continuously other than crying what can I do? Nothing...

Drithi was out of station, so she doesn't know what's happening here. I thought to confess him once, maybe he can accept it right? As soon I gained the confidence it lost because at the same time Ashok mama informed about Ravi mama's marriage.

That time I got to know, he's not meant to be mine. It's fate. I have to accept this fate, because he's happy with this. As long as he's happy that's enough for me.

I somewhere heard that, love is not taking what you like. Love is giving what the person likes.

So, I am backing off with his memories.

Maybe if I was looking beautiful, he would have accepted me right?

But looks will not always be with us. It's our personality which will show us who we are. Why is no one understanding it?

I know Sharadha atha doesn't like me since my childhood but what did I do to deserve her hate?

Why mama doesn't like me? Because I am not looking beautiful?

For the first time in my life, I hated myself. Why didn't I look beautiful? Why am I fat? Why? Why God why?

Days passed.. My love failure took a toll on me. I couldn't concentrate on anything. I'm barely going to college, though I went to college, I am not attentive any more. I am like a living corpse. My parents and friends asked me what was bothering me but I simply said I am not feeling well. Though they didn't believe what I said, they didn't disturb me further.

I don't want to come for his marriage but my parents forced me. I can't watch him tieing a knot to other girl. I can't. I could die if I saw that, already I am drowning because of him.

When my younger sister asked him why he's not marrying me instead of her, He said he will always be our mama. I want to shout at him no, you can't be. You're a lier but I shut my mouth tightly to not spoil his happiness.

But I didn't know I would be getting series of shocks that day.

My first shock was seeing Aadhini in Temple. What is she doing here? After that only I got to know she's Ravi mama's boss friend's wife. Since they're all close they came to this wedding. But god what if she reveals the secret? Wondering why? Because she's also one of the girl who knows about my one side love. She's my friend's friend, that is we know each other because of common friend. That day, she was also present when I was confessing my one side love. They know my story and his name. I never showed his pictures.

But god's grace she didn't notice me. Is that for good or bad?

Next shock, turned the events upside down when the bride did not show up at the wedding. Everyone panicked and gossiped when Ashok mama reasoned.

Third shock, when Ashok mama asked Ravi mama to marry me. No.. he did not ask, he demanded with his deteriorating health.

I was shocked because I didn't expect this one. I don't know what happened in next few minutes.

I came to sense when mom pulled me and made me sit next to Ravi mama. He tied the knot and put the vermillion in my partition. I looked at his eyes first time. It's having some emotion which I couldn't figure out.

I came out of thoughts when I heard the screamings. Ashok mama was losing his consciousness.

Immediately the ER doctor took him to the nearby hospital and we all followed.

I don't know what's happening. Is this god's plann?

What's going to happen next?

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Please let me know what do you think about the chapter.

See you all soon with next chapter..
Suhi✨