You're My Light

New Arrangements

Rey's POV:

"I'm going to go see how much longer," Finn said, getting up from his seat.

With Finn gone, Ben and I would be alone for the first time since seeing eachother again.

This feeling came over me, I don't' know why, but I was so nervous. I've talked to him a thousand times, but right now in this moment, it's so hard to say something. Anything.

Before either of us could speak to one another. I had an idea. Quickly getting up from my seat, I opened up a storage room behind one of the doors of the falcon. It was what I believe to be called a closet. There were clean dry clothes hanging up. I'm not exactly sure whose they were, but anything was better than what I had on.

Bringing the clothes back to the table, I could feel Ben's gaze following me throughout the ship. Curiosity resting on his face.

I set a pile of clothes down in front of my seat, and the other right in front of him. "I hope you find the clothes to your liking. They're the only ones I could find on such short notice" I said.

Taking my own seat, I could see him about to say something, but something came over me and I spoke before he could. "You know, I never got the chance to thank you," I said. Looking from him back to the clothes in front of me.

Everything that just happened, getting taken by cardo, feeling so helpless, I just couldn't look him in the eyes. I feel so stupid, so embarrassed. How could I have not figured out Cardo was a traitor among us. I trusted him and he almost got me killed.

If it wasn't for Ben, I'd be gone, forever.

"Rey," he said. Something about his voice speaking my name caused something in me, telling me, to look up at him. When I met his eyes once more, they held so much emotion. I couldn't place it all, but pity was certainly not one. The thought made me feel relieved.

But with it all, I could see his eyes travel down to my neck, to my collarbone, right where all the bruises and marks from Cardo were visible on my skin. I tried to stay strong.

I could see something change within him. His eyebrows furrowed as his jaw tightened. Taking a deep breath, he finally spoke. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I should've warned you about Cardo. What he did to you..." Ben's words caught in his throat. His eyes glazed over. Blinking it away, he continued, "I should've been there".

Now it was he who turned his head from me. I reached over the table and grabbed his hand with mine. "You were there. Ben, you saved my life. It doesn't matter how it all happened, because however frightening it may have been, it led you here. To me" I said. I don't know where it came from, but I found the words. And I meant every one of them.

His head shot back up in surprise at my words. He looked at me with an intensity I couldn't place. Did I say something wrong? Was I too forward? I have to do something, I don't want to scare him away. "With you here, we have so much to learn from one another"

Ben hesitated before he spoke. "Right, that's why it's good we're together. To learn." he said, his tone sounding almost disappointed? Quickly, he added on, "You know, you don't have to do all this for me. I don't want to get you in trouble" he mentioned. Referring to bringing him back to the rebel base.

"I know I don't, but I want to" I say. As I got up to go change into completely dry clothes, I noticed the smile that crept its way back onto his face. Maybe I had said something right.

...

Ben's POV:

"I know I don't, but I want to" she said. And the way she said it, maybe I had understood her previous statement. Maybe she wants me here with her for reasons more than just to learn. The very same reasons I can't stop thinking about her.