𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖋𝖑𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖗

4: Aisha's problems

Aisha Coles:

I watched as Caleb walked away from me. I shouldn't have said that, I hate myself. But I hate my parents! I just want to be normal and I wanted to date and like girls. But they are so fucking homophobic. Why can't they accept it? They can't accept who I am. But I am forced to be this way, I never ask. I lose my best friends because of it, I lose the person I love to someone else. I don't know if Leah and Chole are still dating.

I walked out of the tunnel, but I have to keep being this person. I never wanted popularity and I don't want to be like this. My real friends are gone because of my parents. If I didn't tell them after high school grad. Maybe I will still have my friends. But I did anyway. I thought they could accept me, but instead they scolded me for being dyke. Well, that is the lesbian slur. If my parents never mess with my life. I just want to be myself and I am forced to date Caleb. The boy that Ren likes. 

But I have feeling Caleb doesn't like Ren back because Caleb is demiromantic. Ren might get the hanahaki disease. I need to stop Ren from confessing to Caleb before they get the disease. I still care for Ren and their sister, Leah. But I really want to talk to them, but my parents said I can't. I never got to say ' I love you ' to Leah.

Now I am here, acting and faking who I am. Not being myself. I hate my parents so much. Soon all our parents are going to come here in the next few months from now. I don't want to see my parents at all. They are the reason I can't be what I want to be. They wanted to be a doctor or lawyer or  fashion designer. But I want to be public speaker and help people with their problem like me. I have so many problems and I want to be a part the lgbtq community again. I hate my parents so much. Once I finished college, I will cut contacts of them. If that's means I have to cut contact from the rest of my family. 

I was walking with my stuff, then I saw my ' friends. ' Well, two of them, one of them is like me. " Hey Aisha, " said one of them, it was Ava. Ava was a mean and rude person like me. But I don't want to be mean or rude, so I just act. " Hey Ava, Elle and Jo, " I greeted back at them with a fake smile. I always fake smile to my so called friends. That's the only way to blend in.

" So, how are you and your boyfriend? I heard you guys are cute together, " I was just stood there. " Oh, um, we are fine, we just fine. Trust me, plus you guys want to go to Coco bubble tea," I asked to them and they nodded. " We will use my car, plus, we don't want that tranny and dyke following us, " Ava was referring to Ren and Leah. That's hurts when I heard those slurs. I never told them that I was lesbian, not straight. 

I will never get tell Leah I like her. I don't know she is still dating Chole. Chole is a spilt personality kind of person. She was kind to mean person. We all went to Ava's car and I was lost in my mind when I was in the car. I was thinking about my own problems, I lose everything I once had, but it was taken from me by my parents. I am only child, my parents expect me to be perfect and become famous one day. Then get married to some guy and have kids. But I don't want my own kids, I want to foster kids and help them get adopt. 

My dream is to be a public speaker, speak for the silent and help kids who have no homes. I can foster them and help them get one. They all deserve one and I can show them the world isn't always going your own way. But my dream was also taken from me, by my parents. I hate them with a burning passion. I just want to choose my own path in life. 

" AISHA, " I was knocked out of my trance and I looked up. " You were zoning out again, " Elle said, she is the only person I trust as my friend. She is kind, but she pretends to be like mean. But she like me, except for the part her parents isn't homophobic. Elle came out to me as genderfluid and pansexual. But she pretend she is straight. Like me, I pretend to be straight. All that shit, I just need to blend in with people. I am known as one of the popular girl, but I never want this popular. 

I know I have a lot of social media accounts. But in one of them, I can just be me. I use this app to help to get along with people who are like me. Who have problems we can't deal alone, but together. I've been trying to tell Ren and Leah that I was sorry. But I never got the chance to. I just wish I found a way to deal my problems in some way. 

After we went to Starbucks, my friends except for Elle were shit talking about Ren and Leah. Especially Leah. They think Leah should be more girly. But I think she is fine the way she is. I was the one who encourage her to do boxing. She want to do boxing. I was one who help her to get that far. But now, I left her because my parents told me to. I hate my fucking homophobic parents. 

" Me and Elle have to go now guys, " I announced and the two nodded. Then me and Elle got out of there, and we went to our dorm room. We share a dorm room. At least I don't share with Ava or Jo. " I wish they weren't homophobic or transphobic, " Elle said out of the blue and she looked at me with sad eyes. I was the only one who knew her secret, she was scared to tell the others because she was bullied by others. But her parents accepted her who she is. 

But she joined Ava and Jo's friend group, she pretended. She was like me, deal with some shitty problems we can't run away from. I sighed, " I understand, I don't want to see my homophobic parents in the next few months, " I looked at her and she looked concerned. " I forgot about that," she mumble as she was sitting on the couch. I was older than her by 4 years. She's intelligent like Ren is. I hugged her, Elle is the youngest out out of us. She is 15 years old. " So, what gender do you feel like today? " I asked to her and she looked at me with smile.

" I feel like more in middle, today. Non-binary, " she answered, and I nodded. 

I took care of Elle because they is so young. Their parents almost couldn't pay the college, but good thing they got a scholarship. Like Ren, yeah like Ren. I need to find a way to stop that confession and I think it might be tomorrow. But I don't really, but I do have to meet Caleb at the fountain.