What we've always been.

12. Emotional Growth

CHAPTER SONG: More-5 Seconds of Summer

Alec

I smack the boble head on Noras desk and watch it bob up and down. The bells rings and while everyone else scurries off to class I smile at her as she walks in for our weekly session.

"You look happy today." Nora says grabbing her seat across from me.

"Is that your professional opinion doc?" I ask.

Nora rolls her eyes and takes out her notebook.

"Okay. Tell how your week went?" She asks once settled.

"Pretty okay." I tell her. "I volunteered for the clothing drive on Saturday."

"That was big of you, didn't peg you for a volunteer." Nora says.

"Guess I'm full of surprises." I smile again and Nora raises her eyebrow.

"So what's got you in such a good mood?" She asks.

"My problems been fixed, you should get a raise or something." I announce.

"Care to elaborate."

"I spent the entire weekend with Alec, working, watching movies and hanging out like we always do and guess what...not a single erection." I hold up my hands and beam at Nora.

She laughs and nods her head.

"That's great. But what about the rest of it?" She asks.

"What do mean?"

"Corey beyond the physical response you had some conflicting emotions tied in. Did you deal with those feelings?"

I have to think for a second. Even though my pelvis didn't grow in size I still felt a rush of weirdness and butterflies everytime Alec and I were standing too close, or when our hands touched and he smiled at me.

"I guess not...but the problem was my erectile issues not my feelings." I argue.

"Corey the erectile issues were a product of the confusing feelings. Curing the symptoms won't rid you of the problem." Nora says. "Only confronting them will."

I sit back groaning all the happiness I felt a second ago gone like smoke in the wind.

"So you mean tell Alec about them?" I ask.

Nora nods and I rub my temple.

"I can't do that, it will make everything wierd. Besides what if you were right and these feelings I'm having are being caused by guilt. What good will telling Alec do?"

"I agree. That's why your homework is to find out if you feel the way you do because of guilt...or if there's something more to it." Nora says.

"Homework? I thought you were the fun teacher." I mumble.

"We'll circle back to that later." Nora says scribbling in her book. "Any plans for the break?"

The question makes my insides twist. I haven't let myself entertain the idea of going to see my dad and brothers since Alec told me about it. Everytime I try to I feel like I'm going to spew out everything in my stomach and never stop.