Differences

Chapter 30 - Alaina

New Chapter!!!

Hey guys!!! As promised I am attempting to post a little more frequently. But do be warned, this chapter is very very long. A new record of  over 2500 words. I hope you like long chapters. 😍💗

I do recommend reading this chapter when you have plenty of time on your hands. 😊😌

Warning: within this chapter, the idea of eating disorder is mentioned. Please look after yourself and read what is most comfortable for you

Enjoy your reading. ☘️🐢🦋🐬

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was very unlike me to sleep through my alarm. In fact, I slept eight full hours past the usual 4am wake up to train. But instead, I woke up to my digital alarm clock glaring at me with its bright fluorescent light indicating to me it was now already 12:38pm. I had always been a light sleeper, waking up from the most minor of sounds and struggled to sleep the standard eight hours. How I had managed to sleep the ten hours from 2am last night to 12pm was something I struggled to grasp.

Sure, it was a rest my body desperately needed, but it felt so impractical. A waste. An unreasonable usage of time where I could have honed my skills, improve my imperfections, be useful.

The only comfort was that slowly, one by one, the burdens I had shouldered were being lifted off from me. Since I had met him. Since he came into my life. He had done it. Slowly, but surely. Not something I deserved at all, but something I couldn't be more thankful of.

With him on my mind, I suddenly missed the warmth and protection his large figure provided me last night. The gentle circular motions on my back, the soothing voice of his telling me he was safe with me, the soft kiss he placed on my forehead. I blush at the thought, and slap my forehead in hopes of slapping the image away.

He has only shown pure consideration and care towards me, going out of his place to make me comfortable and safe. There was no reason for him to do protect me, again, it goes beyond what anyone has to do for someone likeme. I didn't deserve any time or care from anyone, and the strong urge to be useful, helpful for him to pay back even the smallest amount had burned inside me.

If you want to be helpful, then help the family and get rid of the threats. Get rid of them all

I push the thought away. Yes it was the only talent that could be of any use, but I could never favour towards it. But . . . but if it's the only thought worthy idea, then, I didn't really have much of a choice.

I slide the comforter aside, shifting myself to get out of bed, my body cries in resistance, most likely from being dehydrated as a result of my overly dramatic emotional show.

Or maybe it was because you felt disgusting and repeat the meaningless cycle over and over again.

No, it was definitely the excessive crying. How pathetic I must've looked. I was already boring and ugly as is, I couldn't imagine how awful I looked crying and sobs wracking my body like an idiot. I didn't want to imagine but the thought flashed through my mind.

And yet, part of me knew that in the moment, I didn't care. I wanted someone to lean on. Someone to understand that little part of me who wanted people to see the struggles I have faced. It may have been minor or pathetic to many including my parents.

But it was something that had fundamentally changed me.

Not being bothered to change, I left my room to grab a cup of water from downstairs still in my sweat and hoodie when I see Juliet lounging on the living room, sipping on her hot coffee.