Yours Truly, Austin Post - Post Malone

19

The doctor is the best in Salt Lake City, of course, and his rooms look more like a five-star hotel than any doctor's rooms Ava has ever been in. They have a private waiting area and a lady that offers them tea or coffee while they wait which is a little absurd given they had to wait no more than ten minutes. Gracie and Austin both look a little colorless on their faces and look as uneasy as Ava feels - doctors' offices have become a place of painful memories for all of them so even though this is a good doctor's visit is not nice. Gracie keeps close to Austin who would not have let her go far anyway and Ava is caught off guard when Austin whispers to her. "You doing ok, little forest fairy?"

Ava smiles at him and swallows the lump in her throat. He knows how she feels. "Yeah...I shouldn't be here...this is a private moment for you guys," she says. "Nonsense. You are part of this, Ava," Gracie says with a comforting smile. "She is right. I am ready to grab her and run...you need to hold onto our sanity through this whole process," Austin agrees. "And you are family now," Gracie says with a wink. Their words don't help much with getting rid of the lump in her throat but they do warm her chest.

The doctor is nice, but it's with a sullen face as Austin and Gracie explain their circumstances then he nods thoughtfully after they are done. "Not a common practice, but I have done others that have been in your position although slightly different. One question you will need to ask is who will surrogate when the time comes," the doctor says - he just throws it out there like it is no big deal. Ava, Austin, and Gracie all freeze as the air in the room seems like it is suddenly sucked out. Ava is too scared to look over at Austin and Gracie, afraid her heart might just break.

"Gracie..."Austin whispers, his voice sounds raw. "I...I don't think I get to make that decision, love," Gracie whispers back slowly - Ava can tell it's a tender subject. "Fair enough. It's a decision you will have to make on your own, Austin, unless you already have someone in mind. It's important to choose the right person," the doctor says, he has not read the room. "I don't even know if I will use them," Austin says, his voice still raw. Ava sees Gracie lace her fingers into Austin's and then leans forward in a protective stance. She is his strength right now and if Ava was the doctor she would be a little scared of Gracie. "We have not discussed that yet. When the time comes Austin will make the best decision for himself there is no need to push for it now. He is a capable man. We are here today to find out if my body is capable of handling the production of more eggs and what is in store for us around the hormone injections, if we may, "Gracie says.

"But-"

"No. As you can see this is emotional for both of us and I would prefer you did not upset my husband any further. He is capable of thinking for himself and I would appreciate you respecting that," Gracie says sternly, she's not playing. Austin is her protector, her carer - but, make no bones about it - if you upset Austin, Gracie will get in your face. No apologies. The doctor finally seems to register what Gracie is saying and he clears his throat with a nod of his head. "As you have had to keep your medical records up to date and you have recently gone through a series of blood tests, I can tell you that you meet the criteria. Your body is still producing an egg each month, which is a miracle all on its own given the medication you are on and your...condition. So, we will start you on a series of hormones that you will take via injection every morning until your ovulation period - the hope is that your body will produce thirty to forty eggs and then we harvest," the doctor explains then smiles.

"Will she be in any pain?" Austin asks. The doctor shakes his head, "No. She might feel a bit nauseous at times and be a little emotionally sensitive due to the hormones. But, that's about it," he explains. Austin turns and looks at Ava, Ava nods and he seems satisfied with her confirmation. "How often do I need to take the injections?" Gracie asks. "Once a day, in the morning. You can start tomorrow. And then there are three weeks till your ovulation period," the doctor says scribbling on his pad. "Ok?" Gracie whispers to Austin.

"Baby, you sure you can handle this?"

"With you, I can handle anything. I want to do this. Remember what I said this morning, you don't have to use them - it's not about the baby, it's about giving you a choice. You can do whatever you like with them...it's your choice and no one can take that away from you."

"I love you," Austin whispers then leans in and kisses her. "Oh, goodness, with kisses like that you may not even need the hormone injections," the doctor says chuckling at his joke. 

Austin is handed a box of hormone injections and given a list of how to administer it to Gracie and then the head for the car. It's a Summer day but, it suddenly does not feel like one. She knows they are both happy with the outcome of the doctor's visit but Gracie's health is a delicate balance and fear is what sits over them now. There is also something else that is gnawing at Austin and Ava can't put her finger on it but, by the way, Gracie is still in protective mode Ava knows Gracie knows exactly what turmoil he is battling - Gracie knows Austin like the back of her hand. The car ride home is quiet and then once they get home Austin and Gracie disappear into their room for the rest of the day.

Austin's two brothers arrive around dinner time and because they are alone and have worried looks on their faces Ava guesses Austin has called them. Her suspicions are confirmed when Austin comes out of the room and asks Ava to stay with Gracie while he spends a moment with his brothers. Gracie is asleep when she slips into their bed with a book and sees Austin has set Gracie's phone up on face time. She can see Austin and his brothers sitting in the huge garage with a box of beers between them. "Ava, I am putting my phone on mute, but will still be able to hear you so just call out if there is a problem," he says, Avanods and gives him a thumbs up.

She intends to read her book but her eyes keep trailing back to Gracie's phone so eventually she just gives up and watches the three brothers. Austin is explaining something to his brothers, he looks a little broken and then Ava has to stop herself from gasping when she sees Austin lean forward slightly and break down, crying like a child while his brothers wrap themselves around him in an attempt to keep him safe.

"It's the small things that catch you off guard...the things you never thought would hurt...hurt the most," Gracie says suddenly. Ava looks at her and frowns, "what do you mean?" she asks. "Life goes on, Ava...one day Austin may have a baby...a dream that was once ours exists now only as his," Gracie says, her voice cracking as Ava wraps her arms around her. It's so fucking unfair. She knows Gracie and Austin had spoken of having children and it's heartbreaking knowing Gracie has no choice in this, it was ripped away from her - but she has given it to Austin and Ava can't respect her more.