Yours Truly, Austin Post - Post Malone

47

Ava wakes up and she feels like she has a concrete block sitting on her chest. It's her birthday. For most people, their birthdays are happy days, days to celebrate with happy songs and even a little party but to Ava her birthdays are hard, they're a stark reminder of what she lost when Carter slipped away. He had loved birthdays and he had always made a fuss, even when he was sick. He would slip out of bed, make her breakfast, and then burst in singing happy birthday key as she lays her breakfast on her lap and then produces sweet little gifts. He would make a fuss all day - lunch, dinner, movies, cake, decorations- he would do anything and everything to make her feel so very loved and so very special. So now birthdays go by without acknowledgment except for a quiet text from her mom and this constant block of concrete on her chest. She has improved though, For her first three birthdays she had not been able to get out of bed but slowly she got stronger...but not strong enough to celebrate them on her own.

While on tour Grayson had asked her when her birthday was and she had told him - it had been the first time in a very long time she had even acknowledged she had a birthday. Austin has invited her to spend the day with them like she did most Saturdays now but she had declined. He had frowned in disappointment but had not pushed for a reason - he had just nodded softly and pulled her into his arms. She wants to celebrate, she feels kind of ready but honestly, she does not know how. Does he phone friends and invite them to a dinner party? Does she suggest a night out in a nightclub? What do people even do nowadays for their birthdays? Grayson and Austin have both had birdies but she has made herself invisible and not available to join them - it's their happy days and she does not want to make it with her sour face. Maybe next year she will make dinner for Grayson and Austin, that sounds like a nice birthday. She does find herself strong enough to send a thank you text to her mom which is a huge positive step.

It's mid-day when she hears her phone ring and has to rush inside from the patio where she was lying in the sun with Mr. Tubs. It's Austin calling and she finds herself smiling, if she was to give herself a birthday gift a phone call with Austin will suffice.

"Hi!"

"Hey! I almost thought you weren't going to answer."

"I was out on the patio with Mr. Tubs, had to rush inside, sorry."

"That's ok...you at home? I thought you were busy today."

"Oh...I..."

She is not sure what to say, she does not want to lie to him and it's already going that way. If anyone understood it would be him. He trusts her with his weak moments it's only right she does the same.

"I lied...I'm sorry. Today is my birthday and I am not very good with birthdays...sorry."

"I know it's your birthday. You don't like celebrating?"

"I don't think I know how...Carter was in charge of that...so..."

"Would you like to be alone?"

"Yes...no...I don't know to be honest."

"Ok, well...how about this, come over for dinner - just you, me, and Grayson. We have gifts for you but you don't have to open them. You can decide what you want or what you don't want - we will take it slow."

"Ok...ok I think that sounds nice. Thank you."

"Alright...first decision. Balloons and streamers - yes or no."

Ava laughs softly. "No...well, maybe a few balloons," she says. "Great. We will see you at six, Ava," Austin says.

So that's how Ava finds herself standing in a pretty dress outside Austin's front door on her birthday - a day she has not celebrated in eight years. She would not want to be anywhere else. She rings the doorbell, hearing it chime deep into the house like always. Then the door flies open and a grinning Grayson stand before her. "Hi!" he says. "May I say happy birthday and also give you a hug and maybe get a little excited? Dad says you get to choose everything today so what do you want?" Grayson says. Ava clenches her jaw - Grayson is just lovely. "I would like you to do what your heart tells you to do," she says.

"Yes! Well...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" he shouts then jumps into her arms and plants little kisses all over her face. Ava giggles and the feeling that once only Carter was able to evoke so many years ago seeps into her chest. Austin appears in the doorway with a grin on his face and mouths, "Hi," to her as she cuddles Grayson. "Dad is wearing a tie, he looks so handsome," Grayson whispers into her ear. Ava laughs softly and nods when he leans back to look at her. "You should tell him," Grayson says as Ava puts him down. He is almost too big to lift now. "You look very handsome in your tie," Ava says smiling at Austin. "Thank you, it's a special day after all," Austin says pulling her into his arms and pecking her lips. "Happy birthday, Peach," he whispers. Ava's stomach flip-flops at the use of the pet name, it's the first time he has done that. Bit of an odd pet name - but Austin is not your typical guy.

"Come on," Grayson says taking her hand and leading her through the house and out onto the back patio. They have set up the patio table with three place settings, a big bunch of flowers from the garden sits in a vase in the middle of the table and balloons are tied to the back of the chairs, drifting softly in the evening breeze. "Dad got the blue balloon because that's his favorite color, I got green because that's mine and you got white because that's yours - we also got you those two glitter ones because Dad told the lady at the store you were like glitter," Grayson says pointing out the balloons.

"Glitter?" Ava asks looking at Austin. "Yeah, you get stuck everywhere...in all our empty spaces," Austin says. Ava thinks this might turn out to be one of her favorite birthdays after all. "Come sit," Grayson says pulling out her chair. Ava obliges and helps Grayson push her chair back to the table once she is sitting in. "Right!" Austin says rubbing his hands together. "I made dinner. I will bring it out for you," he says and walks back inside. "You ever eaten Dad's food before?" Grayson asks picking up the salt and hiding it under the table. "Not for a very long time. Not since before you were born," Ava says watching him empty a pitcher of juice out on the grass.

"Ok, well just follow my lead and you will be fine...oh, and keep smiling - we will get through this," he says showing her a bucket he had hidden behind a pillar then sits down.